It seems to me Aspie women have an easier time then men in

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NJwlss
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07 Jan 2007, 4:18 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
Here is what I want to see in a potential girlfriend, Aspie or NT:

1. Wanting me because something about me turned her on, not as a desperate attempt to "be like everyone else" And I would strongly prefer that the thing about me that turns her on be something about my personality--not anything material.

2. The ability to be flexible every now and then--someone who can think outside the box.

3. Someone who is comfortable with giving and receiving touch.

4. Sexual compatability.

5. Someone who does not give up when things get difficult.

Tim


and that's not impossible for aspie guys. i thinks that the best way to try to find that is to make friends that (happen to be women). why waste a potential friendship by treating her like girlfriend material from the very beginning? i'd take friends of any gender for friendship sake because i'm very lonely. and if you two really hit it off and like each other, then maybe you date each other.

just don't be passive agressive and pretend to be nice and friendly just to "play" her to get laid. that's something women hate and are suspicious about, and aspie guys(being awkward)especially have to avoid acting and thinking passive aggresively.



lastwish
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07 Jan 2007, 5:52 pm

its obvious aspie woman have a much easier time, men having to do all the initiating and all..

how many aspie woman can say they have never had a chance of getting a boyfriend? not just turned someone down due to standards.



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07 Jan 2007, 5:58 pm

it wasn't. you said it all when you said "can't find the right one". You have alot more space to be picky than a man does. The difference between a man saying he can't find someone, and a woman saying she can't find someone, is simple. When a man sais it, he means he can't find a date. When a woman sais it, she means she can't find someone who fits her outrageous criteria.
And no this isn't emotional thinking, this is clear fact. It's plain as day, it's COMMON SINCE. Your just trying to play reverse psychology and say I am the one thinking emotionally, when in fact it is YOU thinking emotionally. There is no way you can logically conclude women have just as hard of a time as men finding dates, just like you can't logically conclude that it's correct for a man to get praised for getting lotsa women, as where a woman will be called a whore if she gets lots of men. Men and women just face different issues. But atleast a woman doesn't have to starve though. The man's plight is worse because we're missing access to a biological need.



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07 Jan 2007, 5:59 pm

I am just trying to state what I am looking for in an eventual mate. I am trying very hard not to make any hasty conclusions about people. No two NT women are alike, and no two Aspie women are alike.

Tim


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snake321
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07 Jan 2007, 6:00 pm

What the right wing religious fanatics are to christianity, the left wing feminists are to females.



NJwlss
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07 Jan 2007, 6:44 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
I am just trying to state what I am looking for in an eventual mate. I am trying very hard not to make any hasty conclusions about people. No two NT women are alike, and no two Aspie women are alike.

Tim


i know. i was just making a general statement about all aspie guys, i wasn't criticizing what you wrote. i've had probably less luck than you and am trying to work out the kinks in my thinking.



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07 Jan 2007, 6:51 pm

NJwlss wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
I am just trying to state what I am looking for in an eventual mate. I am trying very hard not to make any hasty conclusions about people. No two NT women are alike, and no two Aspie women are alike.

Tim


i know. i was just making a general statement about all aspie guys, i wasn't criticizing what you wrote. i've had probably less luck than you and am trying to work out the kinks in my thinking.


I understand.

Tim


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snake321
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07 Jan 2007, 7:23 pm

NJwlss wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
I am just trying to state what I am looking for in an eventual mate. I am trying very hard not to make any hasty conclusions about people. No two NT women are alike, and no two Aspie women are alike.

Tim


i know. i was just making a general statement about all aspie guys, i wasn't criticizing what you wrote. i've had probably less luck than you and am trying to work out the kinks in my thinking.


You could start be not being "politically correct". I call bollocks on men where it's neccessary, and I'm a man. Political Correctness is not being open minded, it's just blindly following something or someone else whose "more open minded". Don't fall for that because political correctness is nothing more than inverted bigotry.



NJwlss
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07 Jan 2007, 7:50 pm

lastwish wrote:
its obvious aspie woman have a much easier time, men having to do all the initiating and all..

how many aspie woman can say they have never had a chance of getting a boyfriend? not just turned someone down due to standards.


many aspie girls are going to have many of the same co-morbids as aspie guys. that means depression, anxiety, bipolar, not handling stress well, communication mixups and problems. and many potential boyfriends won't want to deal with and struggle with and understand those problems. what guy wants a girl who's always sad/anxious and doesn't communicate well? or is very emotional? not many.

as member and sweet praline just commented, they were labeled as "weird" and not seen as dating material.



NJwlss
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07 Jan 2007, 8:16 pm

snake321 wrote:
it wasn't. you said it all when you said "can't find the right one". You have alot more space to be picky than a man does. The difference between a man saying he can't find someone, and a woman saying she can't find someone, is simple. When a man sais it, he means he can't find a date. When a woman sais it, she means she can't find someone who fits her outrageous criteria.


men regularly exclude women from their potential dating pool. as you were saying before most guys won't date girls that aren't very feminine. and many won't date girls that are overweight. and that knocks off many many potential dates. and it's much easier to be fat and overweight as a guy than as a woman datingwise and in general life. and i'm assuming aspie girls want understanding guys, that is not outrageous criteria.

Quote:
And no this isn't emotional thinking, this is clear fact. It's plain as day, it's COMMON SINCE. Your just trying to play reverse psychology and say I am the one thinking emotionally, when in fact it is YOU thinking emotionally. There is no way you can logically conclude women have just as hard of a time as men finding dates, just like you can't logically conclude that it's correct for a man to get praised for getting lotsa women, as where a woman will be called a whore if she gets lots of men. Men and women just face different issues.


i am trying to say yes aspie women have an easier time getting laid as all women do, but an equally hard time as aspie men dating and finding boyfriend/girlfriends. maybe we're arguing different things?

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But atleast a woman doesn't have to starve though. The man's plight is worse because we're missing access to a biological need.


but you lost me here. sex isn't a biological need for women? huh?



NJwlss
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07 Jan 2007, 8:48 pm

snake321 wrote:
What the right wing religious fanatics are to christianity, the left wing feminists are to females.


why would any aspie guy be opposed to feminism? women are more assertive and more comfortable with expressing their sexuality(meaning most likely that guys find it much much easier to get laid than before). women are more independent and have self esteem so that they don't have to necesarily want to only date the alpha male/rich/popular guy because they no longer have to base their self worth on the man they are with. and if aspie guys are such great guys as many on wp think(and women can't see that because of our communication difficulties), then these "feminists" will find these great guys since they can ask out a variety of men and not have to "sit back" and choose from a limited pool of men that ask them out. aspie guys should want more feminism, because it's in our self interest and will make dating easier for us in addition to helping out aspie girls and every woman who we guys profess so much to love, but resent so much.



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07 Jan 2007, 9:59 pm

Women DO only go for rich popular men. That is a fact, just like it's a fact that you lie about it. Everyone has standards to some degree, man or woman. But a woman has alot more choices, and can afford to set her standards higher. I'm sure some of the men who've approached you, you'd be ok with for a night if you got tired of waiting on Prince Charming (though you wouldn't admit it). Your not going to be starved of intimate contact, because your female. It's just that simple. Look, I just got out of an irritating debate about why it's wrong to beligerantly beat an innocent creature for the sheer sake of bloodlust (something I shouldn't even have to explain)... I've fought political correctness (which your trying to use now), I've fought the counter trend to it (gratuitous offensiveness), I've fought religious fanatacism, it all boils down to tribal dominance, and I am sick and tired of dealing with stupid people who can't think for themselves and are hell bent on animal hatred. Please take your nazi propaganda away from me because it repulses me. If this is what the human race has to offer, I wish I was born on Melmac with Alf!



NJwlss
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07 Jan 2007, 10:42 pm

snake321 wrote:
Women DO only go for rich popular men. That is a fact, just like it's a fact that you lie about it. Everyone has standards to some degree, man or woman. But a woman has alot more choices, and can afford to set her standards higher. I'm sure some of the men who've approached you, you'd be ok with for a night if you got tired of waiting on Prince Charming (though you wouldn't admit it). Your not going to be starved of intimate contact, because your female. It's just that simple. Look, I just got out of an irritating debate about why it's wrong to beligerantly beat an innocent creature for the sheer sake of bloodlust (something I shouldn't even have to explain)... I've fought political correctness (which your trying to use now), I've fought the counter trend to it (gratuitous offensiveness), I've fought religious fanatacism, it all boils down to tribal dominance, and I am sick and tired of dealing with stupid people who can't think for themselves and are hell bent on animal hatred. Please take your nazi propaganda away from me because it repulses me. If this is what the human race has to offer, I wish I was born on Melmac with Alf!


i'm a guy, though very androgynous due to aspergers. i shouldn't have said you were practicing emotional thinking (sorry), but aspie rationality is very overrated. we project onto nts all the time and rationalize things that aren't necesarily true. i wasn't being P.C., i disagree with what you are saying but i didn't find anything offensive and open free debate is going to involve different opinions.

no hard feelings, i disagree but i thank you for calling me a nazi and therefore allowing me to offically join the feminazi club. yeah! now i can raise my arm and say "Heil Pelosi!" with all my other totaltarian feminist liberal friends. thanks!



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07 Jan 2007, 10:57 pm

NJwlss wrote:
[W]e project onto nts all the time and rationalize things that aren't necesarily true.

It's so nice to hear somebody say that.


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07 Jan 2007, 11:25 pm

Actually I don't think so. I mean, your not gonna get a reliable voice for the autism community on this site because over half of them are pretenders, trendies. What are the bottom line autistic traits? Analytical, logical, thinking (but not so logical it's illogical, such as morality being a myth). I mean, all our greatest minds were AS and that was in a time period when we were even a much smaller minority (meaning they really overcame the herd). But this is why we've been acknowledged as problem solvers.... Do you have any idea how often my NT friends come to me whenever they need to resolve an issue? I'm completely unbiased. And, I do believe it is evolution. I don't think it's every aspie, I think it's some of us who have been seperated from the heard so long, and bullied by the herd for so long, that we tore away, which lead us to challenge and question not only our own behaviors, but those of others as well.... Autism was the first step in the next stage of evolution.
But when a guy comes on here, and talks about juggling women, or laughing WITH a post where aspies are being openly discriminated against by the same kind of people who bully us in schools, I think it's safe to say that theyr not even one of us. Most aspies are either really stone-aged old fashioned, or their waaaaaayyyyyy ahead of the times.... Me, like most of us, fall into the latter category.
I mean I don't think this is too hard to believe, kids go around openly all the time pretending to have AD(H)D, Bipolar, white kids who have a bare drop of native american blood call themselves native americans and go around trying to act ghetto (you know, trying to pass as ethnic), and theyr pale as a ghost. I've seen this thing ALOT.



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08 Jan 2007, 3:19 am

jonathandoors wrote:
It seems to me Aspie women have an easier time then Aspie men in finding love and getting laid.


I don't know about that. I haven't been laid for a long, long time and no one, as far as I know, has shown an interest. Of course, maybe they have or would but if I think someone is showing an interest, I either shun them or run.