Hi there

Post Reply New Topic

Hi everyone.

I have had a look around your site and I wish I had found it a while ago. I do not have Aspergers but I have very good reasons to believe my Fiance does.

This is the first time I have had the courage to ask for help on a public forum and I hope you will be gentle with me!

I want to learn all I can about the Syndrome. I have been reading up for weeks and every day my belief gets stronger. There is one problem and that is how do I tell the man I love I think he has this?

He is incredibly down at the moment as yet another job is going down the pan for him. He is angry at the world and pushing everyone away. There is so much I could write, especially after having a terrible few days. However I will leave it there for now. I would really appreciate any suggestions of how to go about this from people who may have had similar experiences.

Again Thank You.

Mellabella.

Hey, welcome to Wrong Planet!
I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time, Mella
Coming from the point of view of someone with the disorder, relationships can be complicated.
I've had the same boyfriend for four years now (we'll get married eventually x3), and luckily he's very patient with me, as you seem to be with your husband. It's great that you are looking for a way to work with him, I really applaud you for that. I wish I had some advice to give you, but all I can really say is have heart. There are a multitude of books on living with a partner who has Aspie, perhaps you can start there?

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to Wrong Planet. Why isn't your fiancee here?

Hi everyone.

Thank you for the lovely welcome. I hope to speak to you all in the coming months.

SmiTTenKiTTen - Thank you so much for your kind words. I am getting used to the "cycle" and I know the rough patch will pass soon enough. Once I am better equipped to support him with this I will have to find a way to bring it up with him. I just worry I will hurt him by doing so.

That said, I know if he has the knowledge of my belief that he is an Aspie we can work with this and he might understand better why people do not understand him, why he is so angry at times and so on. I personally can only see positives to him knowing, but will he feel the same way? Part of me thinks he will be relieved but I am not certain. I am heartened to hear about your relationship. It gives me hope. I know without question that he loves and adores me. I have no fear about that. I will look into the books you suggest. THANKS.

Hi emimeni. Thank you for your welcome too. I am afraid my fiance is not here as he is undiagnosed and truly I think I am the only person in his life that has ever tried to understand him and in doing so realised he may have AS. Sometimes I think he might have a suspicion about this. I was telling him a few weeks ago that a friend thinks their partner has it. I was blissfully unaware of the Syndrome at the time. I had heard it spoken about but had never taken time to read about it. I mentioned this to MY partner and he said "That's funny.... My Doctor mentioned that about me once!" Sadly at the time he was very depressed and I did not want to push him into talking about it. I fear it was a missed opportunity for enlightenment on both our parts.

Thank you Alex, noxnocturne and AnonymousAnonymous. Great to be here.

Hi, it was suggested to me that I might have it when my wife and I saw a marriage counsellor. I think it did me a lot of good to finally understand why I'm different to most people, and helped me understand myself better. I'd just tell him what you've told us, and let him investigate himself whether he thinks he's on the spectrum. Good luck!

Thank you HauntedKnight.

You are right. Knowing how thorough he is in his investigations*ahem* I am sure he will spend a lot of time looking into it. I guess I just wanted to be as prepared as I can be to support him. He has had a very troubled life and I just want to get it right. Hurting or upsetting him is not my goal, far from it.

Thank you again.... Lots to think about.

Mellabella