are we bossy?

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i read people complaining that there aspie children try telling everyone what to do. my father, who displays quite a few aspie traits, is bossy beyond words, which has always bothered me since i'm a free spirit, and not a bossy one at all. then again, my nt mother is bossy herself, and not much less than my father...

I'm not bossy at all. In fact, it's been my undoing where I work. At times, or most of the time, my superiors want me to take charge and corral the aides, like they were chickens in a giant coop. It's just not in me to do that especially considering my background of being abused all different kinds of ways.

Some are, some aren't - but it IS a possible AS trait. Some have it, others don't, some are the opposite - just like pretty much every other possible AS trait. There's such a huge spectrum of traits, and spectrums within traits, that literally no two aspies have the same AS profile of traits & the degree of them. Heck, my identical twin brother doesn't have the same profile of traits that I do.

I'm not bossy, while sometimes an aspie friend of mine can be very much so. I just recognize this at the time and roll with it so as not to rock the boat and escalate anything into an argument. No, I'm not a total pushover - but I know when to pick my battles better and better with age, experience, and perhaps even a little wisdom.

Some of the Aspies that I have encountered can appear bossy due to how they approach requests; we are sometimes prone to using the command form ("Grab my jacket.") instead of the request form ("Can you please grab my jacket?") Aspies may also make request that seem odd (Can you turn down those lights?!). That being said, the Aspies that I know are not "bossy" for the sake of telling people what to do.

People have said (behind my back) that I am like a military dictator at work. While I'm a little bossy, I find this to be absolutely ridiculous because all I do is tell people to do their jobs and follow procedures properly. I wonder how they would feel if they REALLY met a drill sargeant!

I always considered myself a total pushover and a wimp but apparently I'm exactly the opposite. I don't consider myself THAT bossy but I suppose I can see why people would feel that way. I HATE people who don't do their jobs to their full potential and do tend to get lazy people an earful.

I was bossy as a child. Wanted things a certain way and thought my way was the right way and thought my ideas were better. I was inflexible. I thought of it as being an aspie trait even though it can be a human trait too. Some people are just bossy and I can see why an aspie would be too. But I am not bossy anymore.

My NT sister has always tried to order people around. I usually avoid taking command unless I know that the situation is being handled wrong; I step in long enough to fix it and then step back.
Plenty of times, people have come to me to put me in a postion of authority (usually as an instructor). In these situations, I know they are expecting me to give orders so I do. But I always push myself harder than anyone else. I see leadership not as a privelege or a burden, but a duty. People are trusting me with the power to command and I want to be worthy of that trust.

As to the question of this being an AS trait, I think it may be a polar quality like most AS details. To clarify, I stumbled across information that while apsies as a group don't have a higher intelligence, we have far fewer individuals who are of average intelligence. An NT curve is would be like an upside-down U, but an aspie curve would be more like an M. I theorize that this aspect is not limited to intelligence, but is present in most details that aspies are renowned for (eg. hypo/hyper sensitivity)

Once I'm comfortable in a situation I become VERY bossy.

I consider it a trait of my autism because it's about a dislike of change and unexpected social situations. My being bossy is about wanting things to go as I think they should go, the control makes situations more predictable and thus easier to manage, plus it allows me to indulge my OCD tendencies too. I was a nightmare in my old job as I'd change procedures to suit my wants, fortunately the changes made things easier and more efficient so no one took too much offence at my taking over the running of the department

No, not generally. This is why I struggle with authority, part of it is because I'm not bossy enough. I know a lot of bossy NTs, although it's not a significant trait shared by NTs, but it's not a significant trait shared by Aspies either.

I don't tend to lead or follow. I just want to do my own things, or work on equal footing with others.

Not bossy just efficient.. when really young (3-4) I used to tell people where to sit in the vehicle in order to when my mum would drop them off.

I don't think it's bossiness, although I think it is perceived as bossiness by others.

I think when Aspies come across as bossy, it's just their inflexibility about them wanting something done a certain way, they can see the logic in why it needs to be done a certain way. It's annoying when others can't see the logic and think something doesn't matter, so it can get confrontational but it's not bossiness per se.

I'm not bossy, but people often misinterpret me as being bossy.

Not bossy, but at times i know how things should be done since i have a thing called EXPERIENCE that others lack. At that point i tell people what to do.

I used to be bossy, but people never really listened to me. People just love to boss me around though. I hate being told what to do with a violent passion.