Is it normal for an aspie to have anger issues?

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norintha
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20 Feb 2013, 5:20 pm

I'm 17 and I just figured out that I have aspergers. I also have ADHD. Anyways I was just diagnosed about a year ago and I'm still trying to understand it. And I've noticed that I get angry a lot faster than other people, and sometimes ill just randomly snap. Is this normal for a kid with aspergers or could it be something else? I'm so confused...



sackcoat
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20 Feb 2013, 5:26 pm

It could be a lot of things, I guess, and not necessarily associated with AS. I have anger issues, but I believe they stem mostly from my upbringing and not AS. It didn't take too long for me to learn that outward anger will get you nowhere and I began internalizing it (which coincidentally will also get you no where). I'm still working on mine.

The last few years anger has been contained -- for the most part -- and ends up rendering itself in major bouts of depression or melt downs.

So it goes...



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20 Feb 2013, 6:56 pm

Quote:
The last few years anger has been contained -- for the most part -- and ends up rendering itself in major bouts of depression or melt downs.

For me anger and depression seem to be two sides of the same coin. For years I was irascible and quick to anger. When I had children I needed to suppress the anger, otherwise home would have been an abusive environment for the little ones. Suppression of the anger resulted in immediate depression.

I was able to get significant relief from both through therapy. Therapy enabled me to identify my victim syndrome and learn to get out of it. It wasn't a quick process (about two years).

Identifying my victim syndrome and dispelling it through learning to see choices available in life situations and taking responsibility for my choices had a huge dispelling effect on my anger issues.

Quote:
And I've noticed that I get angry a lot faster than other people, and sometimes ill just randomly snap. Is this normal for a kid with aspergers or could it be something else?

Folks with aspergers are not immune to anger issues. Some of the aspie traits lend themselves to anger; low frustration tolerance, sensory aversions, rigidity, single-mindedness & interruptions of preoccupations.



Jaden
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20 Feb 2013, 9:53 pm

norintha wrote:
I'm 17 and I just figured out that I have aspergers. I also have ADHD. Anyways I was just diagnosed about a year ago and I'm still trying to understand it. And I've noticed that I get angry a lot faster than other people, and sometimes ill just randomly snap. Is this normal for a kid with aspergers or could it be something else? I'm so confused...


I generally don't get angry, I do however, get very frustrated, usually at people when they display a less-than-polite attitude toward me.


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tall-p
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20 Feb 2013, 10:42 pm

I think that the years between 15 and 25 are hard for young men in America. You are supposed to "find" yourself. "Become" someone. Get a career, get married, be on your own. So often young men in that age group perceive every slight, every brush off, deeply. It's often like they are all just waiting to assert themselves at the expense of others, and anger is just lurking around the corner.


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Sheerboredom
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20 Feb 2013, 11:30 pm

It's normal as long as you can control your impulses. I had extreme anger issues a few years ago due to not being able to communicate the problem. From what you typed you seem perfectly normal when it comes to anger for your age. Sorry if this doesn't make sense I am on my phone typing this.



mrL
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20 Feb 2013, 11:30 pm

Aspies experience Meltdowns; these periods can lead to anger, frustration and various other signs of mental fatigue.



DJFester
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21 Feb 2013, 4:58 am

For me it's very difficult not to be angry when I constantly get yelled at, insulted or criticized for almost everything I say or do, and it feels like everyone I know is working against me. I can only hope this will improve after my upcoming divorce.


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21 Feb 2013, 6:51 am

Don't forget you are only 17, your hormones will be having an effect too.


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21 Feb 2013, 8:15 am

I have anger issues a lot, even if there's apparently no reason to be angry.



WrongWay
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21 Feb 2013, 10:47 am

I used to have problems with anger and would throw tantrums as a kid, but it's been getting better. Either I'm learning to control it or I'm just learning to walk away from bad situations before I do feel the need to 'explode'.

Though some members of my family (and they don't have AS) also have it so it could run in the family.


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Camo
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21 Feb 2013, 12:59 pm

I have a very quick temper, I call them rages... I can lose it over the smallest of things if I am not careful.
It comes from having to deal with the other inhabitants of the planet I guess but thinking about it, frustration at inanimate objects gets me raging too :oops:
Maybe I am just angry...

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Callista
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21 Feb 2013, 1:06 pm

Normal, but certainly something you should be working on. Find ways to predict when you'll be too angry to control yourself, and get yourself somewhere safe when it happens. If you're hurting other human beings, you might want to talk about medication, because you really don't want to break somebody's nose or something, but in the long run it's better to learn to deal with anger issues by learning new skills.


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21 Feb 2013, 1:12 pm

I have anger issues too. I get fed up with having AS, and being shy and unable to do all the things I want to do. I know an NT life isn't all rosy, and I know NTs don't appreciate their natural social skills, just like I don't appreciate having legs compared to how a person without legs would feel. I just think the grass is always greener on the other side all the time, and I seem to believe that having AS is the most awkward thing in the world because of the lack of ability to socialise, and socialising is what being a human is based around.

When I think of all this too deeply, I become so overwhelmed that I just get angry, and I start hitting myself in the face and screaming and swearing about every aspect in my life. I become horribly jealous of all my cousins for being NTs and being able to make friends and go out and do things with them. I become horribly jealous of other people for having boyfriends, even my friends. Then people just say ''you can't stop people from having boyfriends'', which infuriates me even more because there's a difference between feeling an emotion about something and actually intending to stop people from doing things they seem to love. I know it's being illogical but it's just the way I feel sometimes.


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seaweasel
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21 Feb 2013, 3:03 pm

i think it is, i get angered quickly if something gets to me unexpectedly or if i can figure something out quick enough.



marshall
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21 Feb 2013, 3:22 pm

You're not alone. I find I get irritated easily from small things a lot but my worst anger comes out towards people with certain jerky/insensitive attitudes or personality traits.