"Where You Will Find Me at Parties"

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Can anyone else relate to this:

Oh yes.

One time at a New Year's Eve party I got so stressed by the number of attendees that I went up to one of the host's bedrooms (her young daughter's pink puffy room) and curled up in a ball in her bed. A couple of hours later my date came and got me (I had actually fallen asleep) to take me home. Fortunately I don't think anyone really noticed.

rarely happens to me, i must be going to the right kind of parties

Cat's know all the best hiding places at parties. Always follow the cats.

I've actually forced my opinions and affection on reluctant pets at parties. I got a dog drunk once only because I was already drunk and wanted it to stick around. We drank out of the same glass. Nonetheless, I was NEVER invited to that house again. (like it really mattered to me)
Another time, the inviting host felt really bad for me and locked me in their rec room with all the porn anyone could possibly wish for.

You would have cleaned it up.

I did that when I went to the mansion of a guy's parents while they were out of town. They were one of the richest families in town. Everybody else was oohing and aahing over the grandeur but the first thing that caught my attention was their cat.

Human interaction is too difficult to go to parties or other social events. I'd totally be nuzzling up with the pets in a quite room.

I've never been to a real party, and I'd never go without a friend going with me. But when I go to someone's house that I've never been to, I usually take the immediate step of befriending the pets, and I often interact more with the pets than the people. When there are parties at home (usually the family variety) I always carry my dog around. Her being a brat guarantees me a conversation topic and personal space.

Yes, on the rare occasion i was invited over to an event, i would go yo their dog and find their sweet spot to pet where the hind leg would go nuts.