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aspiesandra27
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26 Feb 2013, 7:14 pm

rabbittss don't. I love you too. :wink:

(silly mode now). :evil:



rabbittss
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26 Feb 2013, 7:19 pm

hahah.

Well I'm a HUGE Joan Jett Fan... between her and Henry Rollins they are probably my two favorite musicians at the moment..



BlueMax
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27 Feb 2013, 1:07 am

I have one particular female friend whose company I enjoy... but have NO, NONE, ZERO sexual attraction for. :? We do fun things and she's fun to be with but I could never date her.

I imagine he enjoys your company too... but not in a romantic or sexual way. (Though I can't imagine why, you vixen, you!) ;)



Stalk
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27 Feb 2013, 6:41 am

nessa238 wrote:
In my opinion he wants things to continue just as they are now and if he has to pretend to just want friendship to get that to happen, he will.

He doesn't want the responsibility of a bf/gf relationship but he doesn't want what you have now to end.

I suggest you remain friends and make sure you definitely don't have sex (for a while) to test him out

I can guarantee he'll be wanting it still


yeah I was about to say the same. He is hoping to get back into your pants and he will negotiate his way around it.



aspiesandra27
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27 Feb 2013, 6:59 am

Whilst all that makes sense, and I agree with it, it still carries other aspects.

He *knows* that if that were the case, that I would not stop being who I am, ergo him receiving the emotional lingo, and requesting that we are both responsible, and not have sex with anyone else. If he wants that, he can have it, but without me in the equation.

Having sex has implications, and he knows that only too well.

So if he thinks I can distance the two (now), he is only fooling himself (as I have been *very* clear with him about this).

My only hesitation is whether I walk away completely, or not.

I guess my greatest shortcoming is that I am so socially excluded, that I confuse "needing" him, with "loving" him.

I guess what I am trying to say is I don't see much point to just being friends with him, if we are both very sexually attracted to each other.

Not being able to reach an agreement in the other areas, makes it logical, to break up.

Am I being too radical? :?



Stalk
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27 Feb 2013, 7:42 am

Well by not giving him sex, creates a challenge for him. You are that current challenge. Being with him equates to a maybe there is a chance if he can only change (hide it better) to what you want. Walking away means moving on with your life and he should move on with his. The question is, what do you want, do you want to create the opportunity for someone new to come into your life. Are you always going to run back to this guy for answers, instead of the new guy? What I would do is to go out and make it a 3 ~ 5 hour (if he can manage) serious chat to get closure and then end it and move on. He might plead to come back but be firm with your decision and your replies.



aspiesandra27
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27 Feb 2013, 7:54 am

Stalk...I was alone for 5 years, I couldn't find anyone.

I know it sounds extremely narrow-minded, but why would that change now? My quirks don't seem to be something that most NT's appreciate or understand. My social limitations, my need to be alone to re-charge, are all aspects of my personality that put the majority of people off.

My age, my reluctance to adhere to stereotypical views on relationships... and I feel very lonely (different from being alone).

I am not saying with this, that I will take someone like him, out of sheer desperation, because I don't think I will find anyone else...I won't.

But finding a partner?

How? :wall:



Stalk
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27 Feb 2013, 8:38 am

You have an OKCupid profile, you are making yourself available on dating sites and you also said on other threads, that if it wasn't for that, then you wouldn't be dating. I guess you will have to speed up the process? How else? Plenty of guys are sharing flirting techniques around here. I can only think that maybe this is discussed in the women's section perhaps?

Have you made a decision with this (current) guy yet? Good luck.



aspiesandra27
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27 Feb 2013, 9:05 am

Stalk wrote:
You have an OKCupid profile, you are making yourself available on dating sites and you also said on other threads, that if it wasn't for that, then you wouldn't be dating. I guess you will have to speed up the process? How else? Plenty of guys are sharing flirting techniques around here. I can only think that maybe this is discussed in the women's section perhaps?

Have you made a decision with this (current) guy yet? Good luck.


I have given it some thought, but still pondering on what to do. I want to be honest with myself, first and foremost. If I *do* decide to give this guy a chance as a friend, you can trust that I will take sex out of the equation, and it won't even happen again, unless he realises he can align himself to me. But that doesn't mean I want him to. I told him yesterday, that I would rather he is honest and tell me what he can't give, than lie and say he will give me something he knows he can't. I meant every word.

But I do believe that people can, and may change and feelings can change. Sod's law I start seeing him as a friend only, and he falls madly in love with me and I fall madly out of love with him. It's happened before. Life is unpredictable. It's not that I wish that. I am diverting...

I am registered on a few dating sites, but am never invited on a date. Whenever I try suggesting it to a potential interest, they disappear.

I'm not the insecure type, but neither am I arrogant. I am a firm believer that if someone is going to like me, they will, for who I am, not for who I am can pretend to be. But I know my limitations, and I am aware I don't cater to everyone's taste. Vice-versa applies, obviously. I don't like the "pretty boy" look that usually comes attached with an underlying torrent of vanity. I certainly loathe those types that seem to be in it just for the sex (which are the huge majority) and the ones who are plainly just out to deceit and will do anything to "get you".

I feel very much at peace though.

Talking on here is a huge help for me, and I can't reiterate enough, how much I appreciate everyone's input and kindness.