Cant deal with life anymore? Sick of being stared at?

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muldoon
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

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Joined: 16 Jan 2013
Age: 25
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Location: England

03 Mar 2013, 5:45 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Yeah, random strangers in the street can recognise the AS in me, but it took 4 years for professional doctors, therapists and psychiatrists to diagnose me and were just going to class me as a typically developing kid if they didn't work out a diagnosis. :? :roll:


Exactly - but make that 16 years for me. "Professionals" indeed! :|

EDIT: I believe that people genuinely do stare when they see others looking uncomfortable in public. When I notice I light like a fuse inside, but I'm too darn intimidated to react. :x



PicnicSupplies
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03 Mar 2013, 7:27 pm

Aspinator wrote:
You could even go up to that person and apoligize such as "I'm sorry if my Autism makes you uncomfortable".

This is really funny I love it!! I want to do this now (:

I want to share what I learned about dealing with NTS and I hope it helps someone.

I noticed the importance of understanding status. It's similar to what you are saying, QAWER, because NTs are always assessing their status, and figuring out the order people around them fit in. I have done a lot of testing and I get along with less harassment because I've learned how to signal to NTs that I am actually HIGH status. Being weird can actually help with that so don't disparage yourself for being weird.

One thing that helps is knowing that they value different things than we do, so currency between them and us is totally different.

I found that being rude (but not too often) especially using sarcasm (a challenge for me) is a REALLY good way to be assessed as higher status.

I found that mildly inconveniencing people can make you seem higher status (Example: as them to grab you a drink/nearby object/or show you a book) but be careful, because asking them to do something too demanding will annoy them. Another good one is if you ask to try something they have, like a snack (like chips, something that comes in many pieces). Forcing them to be kind to you is what signals the status, but it also triggers NTs to feel protective or empathetic, I think. They don't just do this on their own, they need signals.

I found that looking conventionally attractive (as a female) has REALLY big benefits to status.

Doing just a few of these has helped me a lot in superficial interaction, and I deal with a lot less rude behavior. Of course, I have no solutions for what to do after that, and I am one of those people who really wants a lot of friends but I get abandoned a lot (people don't understand me).

If you guys are like me, you never even consider stupid things like status but every NT I talk with says this is a REALLY big factor in who gets picked on and they are assessing this subconsciously all the time (most do not overtly think this stuff).

I hope this helps other people like it helped me, and if anyone has advice for steps beyond that I'd love to know. I clicked on this link because I was feeling angry because more people have been abandoning me and I'm getting really depressed. It's hard to keep trying when you know it's just going to end up like it always does.

Like when NTs say empty things like "You're always cute" (impossible) or "I'm loyal and don't give up easily" (then they give up on you before you have a chance to solve the problem/understand the issue).

Well that's a wall of text isn't it! Anyway, this has been on my mind a lot today and it's especially frustrating because I thought I was doing SO WELL socially and being liked.


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