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WrongWay
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27 Feb 2013, 2:42 am

Hi all,

I've previously not considering speed dating an effective way to meet potential dates for me as I don't find it easy to make a good impression in 3-5 minutes, and wouldn't know the best way to start off with someone I meet for the first time, but there's an event at my university and I'm tempted to get out of my comfort zone and try it. Has anyone here tried it before and how did you find it?


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rabbittss
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27 Feb 2013, 3:02 am

what.. like going to the trailer park and rattling a bottle of lortab and taking home whatever toothless sea mammal waddles your way first?



izzeme
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27 Feb 2013, 6:28 am

i tried a speeddating event once (well; it was for the college homecoming dance, to find a dance partner, but still).
needless to say i left alone and ended up not going to the dance, but it has taught me some insights in human behaviour.

if you think you can handle the overall stress of the crowd at that event, i recommend you go try it out for the experience, but dont expect to 'find' someone there, just have fun and practice your skills a bit



LeFort2
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01 Mar 2013, 10:07 am

Yeah, I tried it once. Three minutes just isn't enough time though. There was only one woman who I seemed to connect with. I got her Facebook and we went on a date but it didn't go very well as we really didn't have too much in common, that and it was my first date ever. Ugh, and every time I tried to compliment her she deflected it. Go for it anyway, it is worth trying at least once. You never know what will happen. Good luck. :thumright:



WrongWay
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01 Mar 2013, 10:53 am

Okay I think I'll go for it if there's still space. I also think a few minutes isn't enough to properly get to know someone, at least for me. I've always taken a long time after getting to know a girl before developing feelings for them (probably at least a week, up to over a year in one case). The idea also seemed a bit scary at first, but I'm just going to go there to meet people and have fun without too many expectations, not much to lose anyway. :)


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hyperlexian
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01 Mar 2013, 11:32 am

if you do not make good first impressions in general you will not be likely to do well at speed dating. it magnifies our differences and makes small issues into huge problems. it's like a 3 minute job interview where all it matters is whether you look good and "come across right". i wouldn't recommend it for anyone who has troubles getting people to warm to them instantly. putting that aside...

traditional speed dating has men going from table to table which makes women become more picky. so events that switch it around and have women going from table to table tend to flatten out the picky tendency quite a bit. basically if you can choose, pick the events where the men sit and the women walk around. but many places are old-fashioned so you may not have a choice.

also, don't ask boring questions like about favourite movies. many people get sick and tired of answering stuff like that and men and women often (but not always) have different tastes so it's not a way to find common ground. Richard Wiseman of Quirkology completed a study about speed dating that found better questions are things like:

"if you were a pizza topping, which one would you be?"
or
"if you were on Stars In Their Eyes, who would you be?

the man and woman who asked these types of questions had the highest success rates, and it's because these questions are sort of funny and quirky. if you feel you must be normal, the best typical topic was "dream vacations". the least successful conversations in the study involved bragging about things like how much money the participants made, or how important their friends were.


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Geekonychus
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01 Mar 2013, 1:55 pm

I suspect I might actually do pretty good at speed dating.



Pabalebo
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01 Mar 2013, 2:11 pm

Definitely not for me. I need days, not minutes, to create a good impression. Also I can't help but feel like those types of things are more meant for people looking for random hookups which isn't really what I'm about.


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johnny77
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02 Mar 2013, 3:42 am

Not for to muster confidence to deal with bunch of different people shooting questions who are looking for witty responses doesn't sound at all enticing to me. Its hard enough to sound witty for one.