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nurseangela
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03 Sep 2015, 6:08 pm

Bataar wrote:
My disdain for small talk is ultimately what keeps me friendless and alone. I just hate small talk that much. I like having friends and interacting with friends, but the process of getting from stranger to friend is so tedious I generally avoid it. For me, talking is about the exchange of useful/relevant/interesting information. If I don't know a person, I can't have a conversation with them because I don't know enough about them to have a conversation that meets that criteria. I've been told to ask someone about their job as I guess that's a common small talk topic. My reaction is (again, this is assuming the person is a complete stranger to me) why would I want to know about their job? Assuming I never see this person again, what use will that information be to me later on?


Question.
How often do you have useful/relevant/interesting information to tell someone? And what kind of information is it (example)?


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
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Darn, I flunked.


Bataar
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04 Sep 2015, 10:59 am

nurseangela wrote:
Bataar wrote:
My disdain for small talk is ultimately what keeps me friendless and alone. I just hate small talk that much. I like having friends and interacting with friends, but the process of getting from stranger to friend is so tedious I generally avoid it. For me, talking is about the exchange of useful/relevant/interesting information. If I don't know a person, I can't have a conversation with them because I don't know enough about them to have a conversation that meets that criteria. I've been told to ask someone about their job as I guess that's a common small talk topic. My reaction is (again, this is assuming the person is a complete stranger to me) why would I want to know about their job? Assuming I never see this person again, what use will that information be to me later on?


Question.
How often do you have useful/relevant/interesting information to tell someone? And what kind of information is it (example)?

Not very often, but that's because I'm not usually around people that much. A lot of people probably assume I'm shy because when I'm in a social setting, I don't talk very much. However, I don't consider myself shy at all. I just have to have a reason to talk to said person. I either have to want to tell them something I think they need to know or enjoy or believe they know something I want to know to give me a reason to ask them a question. This obviously makes interacting with people I don't know very difficult because I don't know anything about them. In an ideal world it would be socially acceptable to walk up to someone and ask them if they like X, Y, or Z. If yes, you have something to talk about, if not, you move on. But that's not socially acceptable and you have to beat around the bush so much to try to get a vague understanding if you share common interests that it's just not worth it.



Spiderpig
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04 Sep 2015, 1:14 pm

Small talk sucks. I think sucking is its raison d'être.


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nurseangela
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04 Sep 2015, 1:56 pm

Bataar wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Bataar wrote:
My disdain for small talk is ultimately what keeps me friendless and alone. I just hate small talk that much. I like having friends and interacting with friends, but the process of getting from stranger to friend is so tedious I generally avoid it. For me, talking is about the exchange of useful/relevant/interesting information. If I don't know a person, I can't have a conversation with them because I don't know enough about them to have a conversation that meets that criteria. I've been told to ask someone about their job as I guess that's a common small talk topic. My reaction is (again, this is assuming the person is a complete stranger to me) why would I want to know about their job? Assuming I never see this person again, what use will that information be to me later on?


Question.
How often do you have useful/relevant/interesting information to tell someone? And what kind of information is it (example)?

Not very often, but that's because I'm not usually around people that much. A lot of people probably assume I'm shy because when I'm in a social setting, I don't talk very much. However, I don't consider myself shy at all. I just have to have a reason to talk to said person. I either have to want to tell them something I think they need to know or enjoy or believe they know something I want to know to give me a reason to ask them a question. This obviously makes interacting with people I don't know very difficult because I don't know anything about them. In an ideal world it would be socially acceptable to walk up to someone and ask them if they like X, Y, or Z. If yes, you have something to talk about, if not, you move on. But that's not socially acceptable and you have to beat around the bush so much to try to get a vague understanding if you share common interests that it's just not worth it.


Do you have any guy friends at work? Usually NT guys like to go out after work to a sports bar and watch sports and drink beer and grunt (guy small talk) at each other. Any good times like that going on?


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


kraftiekortie
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04 Sep 2015, 2:03 pm

I'm a guy, I like sports....but I rarely ever grunt!



nurseangela
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04 Sep 2015, 2:13 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm a guy, I like sports....but I rarely ever grunt!


I think the grunting is an NT guy thing, Mr. K. :D Along with scratching themselves in weird places.


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


wannabeprincess
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04 Sep 2015, 6:24 pm

I don't like smalltalk. I notice that when I spent a couple of days alone, which happens quite a lot, I have a lot of difficulty with having small talk with people again. It feels like I'm not used to it anymore. And even when I'm used to it, it takes a lot of effort and I also don't see why it is necessary. It is just useless information in my opinion. I just don't understand!



Spiderpig
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05 Sep 2015, 1:56 am

I wonder if it's something like the spontaneous-kiss or -touch rule: you have to talk about something inane to give others the option of chastising you for being inane. You have to take risks at the mercy of others and refusing is resented, because it's seen as cowardice and poor sportsmanship.


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The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.