Would Aspie social groups reduce social anxiety?

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I previously asked if people would be interested in such ideas as an "Aspie Festival", "Aspie Fundraiser", or "Aspie Social Groups", and I have to admit that I previously underestimated the level of social anxiety on this board.

This concerns me, since I think that one of the biggest issues with the lives of many WP posters is that we are....on average, socially excluded, or have previously suffered from social exclusion. Social anxiety is a perfectly logical response to that unfortunate fact, but it also has the potential to reduce the benefits of social interaction, both with other Aspies and the world at large.

I ask if offline Aspie social groups might make a positive start towards reducing some of the social anxiety. Even a monthly meeting over soda/coffee/Stim Cola would be something that I think could be a benefit. Also, don't forget the ice cream (meltdown shake, of course).

Your thoughts?

Of course, some of us have sound and other sensitivity issues that might make meetings with food or drink more stressful. I know NTs like to mix socialising with food and drink, but for me it is a problem - misophonia.

I want to try and meet people that might more or less understand where I am coming from and not judge me for it...I have thought of trying to find maybe an AS support group, or PTSD but I wonder if the AS would make me feel like an outsider around people without AS with PTSD.

But yeah throughout childhood I was ostracized and bullied, then when I was done with the hell that is public school I went off to college...tried being more 'social' in an attempt to meet people and make friends. Well I just ended up getting used and anyone I did get on well with I am not even in contact with anymore. There was one girl my first year of college who I hung out with and we're friends on facebook but haven't talked since that year of college. So yeah between feeling like I cant really trust anyone because they might be acting friendly just to take advantage, knowing even if I do make a friend it's likely we'll just lose contact and knowing I could be singled out and ostracized or bullied I probably avoid people a lot more than I would want to.

I was even thinking of going to a drawing class my grandpa offered to pay for, but when my mom brought it up I went on about how I'd be nervous and uncomfortable around a bunch of people I don't know....but I probably will go because the longer I isolate myself the harder it will be to interact at all I suppose and I could use an excuse to get out of the house.

I have a hard enough time socializing with non-Aspies.

I'd like to meet others with AS. I've never met one that is known to be one though there are some around that I suspect might be. I would hope they would be more understanding of the way I am. But my fear is that they could be as hypocritical/mindless/mean-spirited as all the other people that I have met in my life. Still it's worth a try.

Yeah, that's the issue. Before anyone accuses me of trying to make Aspies "act NT", I think a difference should be recognized between forced social interaction and voluntary social interaction, the later of which is hard to start when social anxiety is an issue.

I believe that this subject is one that WP would be well suited to assist with.

Yes, I do think that offline social groups for people on the spectrum could be good for reducing anxiety. It offers a "safe" environment for people with similar issues. Though I am not sure if everyone should be on the spectrum, I think having some insight from NTs could be beneficial, too.

I can attest to that, if there's no external pressure on me to go do something it most likely will not happen.

Would they reduce it? Yes, probably. Would they reduce it enough for me to want to participate? I'm not sure.

I think membership questions would come down to the individual group level.

The more I read the forums these days, the more I see that social anxiety is an issue. It's bad enough that we're.....between .005 and .03 of the population, but when (see below) posters might not feel safe in posting anyomously online, it's hard to get to assisting each other offiline.

For example, look at this thread, as of the posting date, there were 18 answers, and only... 7 people posting. One of the reasons I switched to polls sometime back was to offer a way to give anyomous feedback.

"Near the Delaware river" if thats Delaware Ont Canada i'll come and talk to you! lol, I think the social anxiety would be reduced becouse unlike daily life the expectations placed on social abillity would be quite low and I like hearing passinate people go on about their intrests. At this point i'm the only one I know with AS so I have no choice then to try my best to talk to NTs or just spend time alone.

an offline social group has been helpful to me but it has also caused me some other situations-some good and some bad-NT cliques can be confusing and Aspie ones can be even more confusing.

Different Delaware river....

The above post makes an excellent point. As Aspies, we don't have a critical mass, we don't have places that most of us can go to meet others who process information like ourselves. Even if we're only .005 of the population, that would make thousands of Aspies in most US census areas (groups of urban cities). Despite these numbers, it is very dificult to have regular (bi-weekly or more often) social interaction. There are no offiline Aspie "hang-outs".

Maybe your problems with NTs is that they demand that you behave just like them and understand them and their brains work so different from yours that you must struggle to just make the minimum connection.

Maybe just maybe - you will find aspers easier to get along with (their brains work more like yours) -- at least some of them - I do think that you will need at least some commonality in areas of interests for things to click.

I do have a group of geeks that I meet with regularly (most are as AS as I am). It is often the high point of my week. Not only do we have Linux computers and computers in general in common but they do not make any pretense to be normal nor do they require it of me. Not once has anyone there wanted to talk about team sports - or the weather (unless you want to count an in-depth discussion on centuries long weather patterns) - or who was the most "in" person on the red carpet last night. The subjects are usually restricted to computers - history - or other tech. Oh - joy joy joy - it is truly wonderful.

Joining any group would be scary for me under the circumstances. I just don't understand why there are so many Aspies that want to socialize which just isn't an Aspie trait. This along with the lack of so many other traits goes against the DSM. That is why I'm having a hard time with some people who claims to be Aspie.

I'm much more comfortable in my own little world and chatting on forums or social networks which seems to be an Aspie trait.

I must admit I may be misunderstanding the above post. In the second part of the above post, you indicate that you enjoy "on-line" socialization, which presumably would work well with the "traditional" Aspie preference for more complex and "deeper" forms of communication, such as the format of a WP forum post, or a blog posting.

How is the above desire for "on-line" socialization different than wanting "off-line" socialization? The above post suggests that the issue is more of a communications preference, not a socialization issue.

Edit: 1st paragraph

Have you heard of Wing's social subtypes? She describes three distinct styles of social impairment:

Active-but-odd - these people have normal sociability or may even be hypersocial, but approach social interaction in an atypical way. Monologues, poor nonverbal communication, difficulty with unwritten social rules, etc. This type is at the highest risk of bullying, because they attract attention while not having the skills to fit in.

Passive - won't initiate interaction, but will go along with it if others initiate. If left alone, they won't seek out interaction, and often don't seem interested in it, but they don't actively avoid it. (In some cases they are interested, but can't initiate, often due to executive dysfunction.) They often are very easily led, and easily manipulated. This group, however, tends to be the most popular of autistics, because other kids can readily boss them around and they don't tend to unintentionally annoy people.

Aloof - actively avoids interaction. Might like certain, very limited kinds of interaction (eg being spun by another person), but most attempts by others to start an interaction results in rejection by the child. They have little desire to interact and find interaction aversive. Often ignored by other children, but may be bullied.

Of course, with age, people often cover up their social subtype with learnt behavior (eg an active-but-odd type becoming fearful of interaction due to bullying, or an aloof type learning that others will force interaction and if they cooperate they can get it over with quickly), so this tends to apply most clearly to younger and lower functioning autistics. But it shows that you can be autistic and like interaction, if you're the active-but-odd type or maybe the passive type.

Also, on average, the aloof type tend to be lower functioning and the active-but-odd type higher functioning. Though individuals may be exceptions. (I knew a nonverbal active-but-odd kid, for example.)