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Triple__B
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04 Mar 2013, 9:54 am

So I have been recently seeing a psychologist because for a while now, something is not right and my wife wanted me to talk with someone. I won't list all my Asperger's traits now, but after the first time I read about AS, EVERYTHING seemed to make sense. The more I read, the more I was relating to AS. My first visit to the therapist she wanted me to research Social Phobia and see if I thought that might be affecting me, so I did. The symptoms made sense, only I have virtually no anxiousness or fear in social situations and don't mind public speaking, eating in public, ect. My problem with social situations is that I can't relate to people and have no idea what to do in a conversation. I told her this on the second visit and she agreed then that's probably not it and we talked more about what it might be. By the end of the session I had told her that I thought it could be Asperger's and she said she didn't think so at this point. She said all her Asperger patients cheated on their spouse and didn't know it was wrong, so he just kept on cheating like 20 times. And because I didn't cheat on my wife 20 times and knew that that would be wrong, that she doesn't feel that I have it. I explained to her my problems with relating, sensory sensitivities to light/abrupt noises, robot movements as a kid, empathy and sarcasm problems, and the overall feelings of not fitting in my entire life.

Now she wants me to look into AvPD or extreme introversion with a high IQ and see if that fits. (AvPD fits but again I don't get anxious per se and I do feel like an introvert but my online IQ scores are normal at 100-110)

I just don't understand how being able to cheat on your spouse 20 times and not care is an AS trait?


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DrHouseHasAspergers
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04 Mar 2013, 10:00 am

Your psychologist is wrong. Cheating on one's spouse is not an AS trait. It's a dick trait.



JellyCat
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04 Mar 2013, 10:03 am

You should get a better psychologist. She doesn't know what she is talking about.

While some Aspie's don't always fully understand how wrong something is to NTs, we are more likely to be better at following rules. Rules such as 'it's wrong to cheat' :P.

According to some 'experts', some Aspies have problems empathising with others, and this leads to them not being able to fully understand why their partner would dislike so much it if they were cheated on.


The vast majority of Aspie's don't cheat on their partners 20 times :P.


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Tyri0n
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04 Mar 2013, 10:17 am

That is ridiculous. Most aspies probably don't even have the capacity to do this.



AgentPalpatine
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04 Mar 2013, 10:21 am

Oh joy, another bat-**** crazy "medical" person.

She's wrong, and it's not even close.


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Camo
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04 Mar 2013, 10:26 am

got to admit she's way off the mark there, I am way too honest, totally loyal and I demand the same, thats the way the rules work in my life.. You don't cheat, simple.

I don't cheat at anything, I tried it a few times in games etc, I hated how I felt so I don't cheat, I also don't lie, can't seem to do it, don't see the point either, my wife knows not to ask if her bum looks big !

She's barking ...

Stu


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Anomiel
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04 Mar 2013, 10:35 am

Triple__B wrote:
She said all her Asperger patients [...] so he just kept on cheating like 20 times.


So that's a total number of 1? :lol:
I find the prevalent attitude by some people on this site sickening that every personality trait ever HAS to be caused by autism, and obvs that psychologist share that way of thinking :roll: what you describe is a person that is autistic (because you said he was diagnosed), who cheats, and who's cheating was not caused by autism.
Anyway, change psychologist as that one obvs don't know what Asperger's is, and thus couldn't diagnose you with it if you had it.



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04 Mar 2013, 10:53 am

The term "cheating" always cracks me up when used in a sexual context cause it sounds really stupid and most people don't even realize it. :lmao:



Triple__B
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04 Mar 2013, 10:54 am

Yeah, I was thinking that cheating with no regard was not a trait of AS, but I thought I would ask here to be sure. I really do want to change psychologists, but for now my dilemma is that I am serving in the US military and cannot go to see my military doctors for problems like this, or I could be discharged unfortunately. I was actually cleared for 12 insurance covered sessions with her to work out "marital concerns." The military will only cover off base visits to a psychologist if you have a short term concern that will effect your work performance such as marital issues, not things like personality disorders, depression, ect.
She is also not documenting anything in writing by her choice because she knows all this, so that part is good.

My plan right now is to use the 12 sessions to the best of my ability and then decide if I will wait out my last 7 years until retirement before seeking an official diagnosis. I feel that I am in a tough spot because I like the military for it's structured environment and of course the retirement benefits. My other choice is to pay out of pocket for each visit I guess.

Thanks for all the replies so far btw.


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Fnord
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04 Mar 2013, 10:58 am

DrHouseHasAspergers wrote:
Your psychologist is wrong. Cheating on one's spouse is not an AS trait. It's a dick trait.

It's a human trait, that is not specific to either gender or to one's neurological state.


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mikassyna
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04 Mar 2013, 11:12 am

I never heard of such a ridiculous thing.

I would not cheat because it is WRONG. IMO if you cannot be monogamous then there is no reason to marry unless it is a marriage of convenience, or you agree to an open marriage (which seems ludicrous). If you cheat you are a liar. I have a big problem with liars.

I think this is a case of a psychologist needing HER head checked.



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04 Mar 2013, 11:25 am

I didn't take into consideration that you could be in a situation were changing psychologist could be an issue, sorry. :/ Best of luck with getting the mental healthcare you need.



Ettina
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04 Mar 2013, 11:38 am

Quote:
By the end of the session I had told her that I thought it could be Asperger's and she said she didn't think so at this point. She said all her Asperger patients cheated on their spouse and didn't know it was wrong, so he just kept on cheating like 20 times. And because I didn't cheat on my wife 20 times and knew that that would be wrong, that she doesn't feel that I have it.


Clearly, she's incompetent. Cheating has nothing to do with AS. AS partners are no more or less likely to cheat than NT partners.



Vectorspace
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04 Mar 2013, 11:43 am

Wtf??????



Oberoth
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04 Mar 2013, 12:16 pm

She is sorely misguided in her belief that cheating is a common trait of aspergers.



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04 Mar 2013, 12:23 pm

Triple__B wrote:
I just don't understand how being able to cheat on your spouse 20 times and not care is an AS trait?


Cheating is promiscuity, promiscuity is a trait associated with ASPD.

Not AS.


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