Do you ask other people questions about themselves?

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This is a long story, but I ended up in a room full of NTs the other day and they were complainng about someone they know who never seems to ask them questions about themselves.

I do think that the world is divided up into question askers and story tellers. I am a story teller, but I'm not good at asking questions. And I realised that this is maybe why I find it difficult to form bonds with other people. I don't know if it looks like I'm not interested in them if I don't ask questions, but I don't want to pry, so figure if they want to tell me something they will do it voluntarily.

The NTs in the room were aghast at my explaination. They said to me, "but I would want to know." I said it's not about not wanting to know (ok maybe it is a little) but I guess they were just justifying themselves and saying that they weren't prying our of rudeness when they ask questions they're just interested in learning about other people, which is fine.

This is the first time I've realised that people may be offended if you don't ask them about their lives and give them a chance to show off a little.

Every day is a school day.

Everything I've read about how to have a conversation says to ask the other person questions. I do TRY to do this when I remember too but it doesn't really feel natural.

I do. I wouldn't go as far as calling it 'rude' not to ask questions or complain about it though. However it's nice to ask questions as it shows you're interested in them and not just yourself. Many questions are perfectly safe to ask - if you're not sure you can say something like 'do you mind if I ask about...'

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I ask questions when I'm in a good mood otherwise not. I think this is probably with almost anyone.

I'm not good at this one either. When I do ask questions, it's probably closer to an interrogation because I'm usually trying to find some clarification atm.

Sometimes. I get curious and do ask them questions. But I tend to ask "personal questions." If I am asking someone questions about themselves, it means I am curious and I got interested in them. People get offended if you don't ask them anything but yet if you do, they still get offended, you can't win.

I still haven't figured out how to ask people about themselves without coming off as awkward and weird. The one I seem to have success with is "How was your day?"

It's true, in the most basic sense asking others about themselves expresses your interest in them.

I ask people about what happened to them but not because I have a personal interest in emotionally bonding with them more. I forget asking my family and friends about and I forget to tell them about what happened to me or how I feel because I just don't feel that expressing interest in this fashion means you're bonding with others.

"Normally", you should feel involved more with that person's life when you exchange experiences. I don't feel involved like that. Words are just words and words and actions don't necessarily reflect how you think or feel of someone.

I feel as if liking a person doesn't need to be proven. You care about them, end of the story.

But I understand that expressing interest in another person is one of the few ways that proves to that person that you care about them. People can't read minds and so can't know that you care for what happens to them just because you do. It's easy to lie and proclaim that you like them, of course.

Actively spending some of your time to ask them questions and listen to them is harder than just saying that you care for them because it requires an effort from you. That's why it's more believable than just being told "I care for what happens to you, I want you to be happy and I'd be sad if you went away".

Mind-reading would make this so much easier. Having an ASD and interacting in those special ways with others to make sure they understand that, no you wouldn't like them dropping dead but to let them know that they're okay people.

Oh and expressing a tiny amount of interest in others that you're not truly interested in also helps to keep those insecure folks off who constantly worry about being liked and avoids them going bonkers about thinking you that you're rude for ignoring their pretended awesomeness and their self-proclaimed super importance for all of humanity.

The NTs were right: when having a conversation with someone, you are supposed to take interest in and ask questions about the other person to show that you are interested in them as a person. If you just talk about yourself, people will think you are self-centered, boring, and annoying...not good qualities to have.

I always direct my conversation onto the other person unless they ask specifically about me or my opinions: the exception being my closest friends, although I try to keep conversation as balanced as possible and not all about me. I also try to listen more than talk, since I've recently learned from experience that talking too much can annoy people. I took an unusual kind of interest as a kid though: before I became aware that people had different interests and lives as I did, I used to monologue quite a lot about my special interests and ask others questions regarding them, such as what brand of bathing suit they liked best...I still have a survey I conducted with this question from when I was 8!

I am currently teaching this skill to a girl I am mentoring since she tends to monologue about her life and interests to others. So far, she can tell me about this concept, but she is having a hard time putting it into practice. She likes when the attention is on her, and either doesn't see or ignores the body language or cues of others telling her that she is boring people.

This is one of the things I struggle with when having a conversation with someone. I know to ask questions, but my social phobia kicks in and suddenly holds me back, as though I am afraid to ask them questions. It's not that I am being self-absorbed. It's just that I seem to fear asking the other person questions. I am trying to do it more until I get used to doing it. It is called contributing in a conversation, and I have known my mum to complain about people who don't ask her anything about herself in a conversation. I'm sometimes like ''oops, I don't always either, hope that's not what people think about me''.

I do now but not prior to it becoming something I actually force myself to keep in mind; and even though I do I still struggle greatly with small talk.

I can't think of any questions that don't seem too personal and nosy.

i know i'm suppose to ask personal questions to show interest in people. sometimes i even would like to ask questions about the other person but it just seems intrusive. i generally get around it by smiling and nodding when they talk and tilting my head to look like i'm inquiring. it works great if the other person is talkative. if the other person isn't talkative and i think that i have to talk (generally i'm happy with silence), i'll ask them about something work or school related. i do have to control my impulses to talk about whatever has caught my interest lately because that's generally too much information that they really don't want. so generally i'm quiet and people seem to think that i'm just listening intently.

I know that I should do it but I never know what I could ask. I have not many ideas which questions are okay and what I better shouldn´t ask. I struggle with it and so I often don´t ask any questions.

I ask people questions to get to know them. some non-threatening ones are: how do you like your work? what are your hobbies? what kind of music or movies do you like?