Going on a 6 hour flight with my autistic daughter , help !

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stephanie75
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05 Mar 2013, 12:53 pm

We have to go to a wedding and in order to get there I need to fly for 6 hours with my autistic daughter. I've only ever taken her on a plane once before when she was 12. It was only an hour flight but it was a complete nightmare. If that was bad I'm really worried about how I'm going to keep her entertained for 6 hours in a confined space. She is a lot older now , 19 but she finds it extremely hard to sit still. She can't stand crowds so Im even concerned about the airport. She has terrible melt downs when she is uncomfortable and I don't know how the other passengers will react if she starts freaking out. Our doctor suggested we sedate her but I don't feel happy doing that. Any advice on how to get through this ? If you need more information just ask 



Noetic
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05 Mar 2013, 12:57 pm

Does she use earphones/music, tinted glasses/hats etc to self-soothe? I don't get meltdowns as such but have found earphones/an MP3 player with audioplays or music crucial in helping me tolerate public transport.

Also make sure you have an aisle seat so she can get up if she needs to, and take whatever toys (cuddly toys, squeeze toys, sensory toys), books etc that help calm her down on board with you.

It may be useful to contact the airline so cabin staff can inform other passengers if needs be, or take printed cards with you to help explain to passengers what is going on.



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05 Mar 2013, 1:02 pm

Any chance you could sedate her?



stephanie75
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05 Mar 2013, 1:11 pm

Geekonychus wrote:
Any chance you could sedate her?


I like to avoid sedating her but if it will keep her calm then I suppose I could consider it.



stephanie75
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05 Mar 2013, 1:13 pm

Noetic wrote:
Does she use earphones/music, tinted glasses/hats etc to self-soothe? I don't get meltdowns as such but have found earphones/an MP3 player with audioplays or music crucial in helping me tolerate public transport.

Also make sure you have an aisle seat so she can get up if she needs to, and take whatever toys (cuddly toys, squeeze toys, sensory toys), books etc that help calm her down on board with you.

It may be useful to contact the airline so cabin staff can inform other passengers if needs be, or take printed cards with you to help explain to passengers what is going on.


Thank you very much for this. She does use headphones to self soothe so I will be sure to bring them along.



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05 Mar 2013, 1:31 pm

I would go with the ideas for self soothing but seriously consider sedation. A cross country flight is not fun even for "nt". Many people without mental disorders take one time anxiety medicine for a single event such as dentist or flights. Why cause her added distress? I don't know if she is on any medications but I am sure the doctor is aware of contraindications. Sedated doesn't necessarily mean totally out of it.



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05 Mar 2013, 2:04 pm

I always refused to go on a plane so far, so I don't know whether it's possible to decide where to sit and who to sit next to. If you can influence the seating decision, would demanding her to be placed next to a window be fine with her? Is she better/calmer if you or someone else from the family sits in the seat next to hers?

Depending on what her autism is like talking it over or using visualisation might help to prepare her for what's going to happen and to prepare a couple of rituals. (Maybe avoiding the topic of the last flight would be a good idea if there are still bad memories attached to it that would just serve to make your daughter and you anxious when thinking back to what all went wrong back then.)

Personally, I would want to know as much as possible and talk it over and over and over in a simple and really visual manner ("what happens next?" "where will I need to stand/sit and wait?" "what will person X say?" "what if I need to/want to...?" "when will I have to let go off my luggage?" "when will people probably brush me (or run me over)?") with someone else. Else, I'd get disorientated.

Some autistic people would not want to know about situations that are uncomfortable to them beforehand though, so what to talk about depends on your daughter. And you, of course. If you sound all nervous about something she's sure to pick on even if you think she won't. Nothing worse than knowing that the person who accompanies you in an exhausting and annoying situation feels super anxious and on the edge themselves.

Recognising details and knowing which seat you're directed to (a seat next to a window, for example) or getting the drink that you agreed to get (when can you get foods and drinks on a plane? it would suck to want one and be told to wait) can be great too because these things help with knowing what's going to happen next.

There are probably a few words that are always the same in those safety instructions before you take off. Knowing that someone will basically shout at you and the others about what to do about belts and whatever else is way better than being surprised by it, of course.

If that's not possible or if that won't help her, then sedation might be the way to go if your daughter is okay with that option. A lot of non-autistic people go down that route if they're anxious about flying after all. I don't know enough about sedation but I am pretty sure that your daughter will feel different in some way.

So everyone should keep in mind that she might not feel like her usual self while at the same time also experiencing the stress of the flight.


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OliveOilMom
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05 Mar 2013, 2:39 pm

I would honestly go with sedation. I have 4 kids and I'm the aspie in the family. I can understand why you wouldn't want to sedate her, it just "feels wrong" somehow to drug your kid when it's not absolutely neccessary for their health and wellbeing, but I think in this instance it kind of is neccessary for her health and wellbeing. While it may feel like you are just sedating her for your convenience and other passengers convenience, you aren't. Yeah it will help you and them out a lot to have her sleep through it but imagine if she's awake and not happy the whole time. She won't enjoy it. It would be torture for her if she's forced to sit in a small seat in an inclosed space and be still and quite and surrounded by lots of people. Plus the turbulance, plus the stomach drop feeling when you take off, plus all the other stuff that goes on on a flight that she won't know about.

I hate to fly and when I have to I make sure I take something like Xanax. My reasons are that I know without a doubt that we will crash every single time I fly. I'm terrified. I should take a train but sometimes I can't. I sedate myself when I fly because it's better for me. I don't have to get so upset and worked up and deal with the fear and being uncomfortable, etc. You will be making your daughter more comfortable by sedating her on the flight. It's not like you are giving her a big dose of Benadryl every night so she goes to sleep early so you can watch tv or something, this is something that would help her.

I wouldn't beat myself up over it if I were you, and I'd do it in a heartbeat.


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05 Mar 2013, 2:54 pm

stephanie75 wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Any chance you could sedate her?


I like to avoid sedating her but if it will keep her calm then I suppose I could consider it.


Unless you know how she will react to the medication, that could backfire. Some of us seem to have odd reactions to any medication that affects the mind. In my case, a sedative would be more likely to set me on edge. (No, I haven't tried every possible drug out there - I have no desire to put myself through that. And I've been told it would be easier to sedate a herd of elephants that it would to sedate me. Laughing gas was the only thing that ever had much of an effect on me - and the one time it was used, I scared them with just how much they had to use to get me under, and just how fast I came up out of it.)

Positive sensory input might help, at least to an extent. But then again, it depends on just how much the experience is going to stress her out. For me, a 6 hour flight would be harder to endure than being forcibly bathed in boiling water. (Never gone that far, but I did have boiling water poured over my thumb once, and I can extrapolate.) That may sound like an extreme statement to you, but simple pain is a lot easier to ignore than some things.

My point is that no matter what you do, it will depend very much on how severe an ordeal this will be for her. The crowds, crowded plane, noise of the plane, being forced to sit still for so long, surrounded by strangers, the canned air inside the plane, the food :eew: - every single one of those factors is something which would push me to the brink of meltdown long before six hours had passed. Combined, there's no way I'd last ten minutes. I am not your daughter, so that may not mean she'll react the same way. On the other hand - I've always been desperate to avoid meltdowns (which are a terrible ordeal in themselves) and once I figured out I was on the spectrum and what they were, I was able to work out strategies to avoid most of them - and I still don't think I could last ten minutes in this situation. With current sensitivities toward air travel, I'd also be afraid I'd run afoul of law enforcement.

And don't forget the flight back will be even worse, since she'll know just what to dread in advance. (That's if she doesn't manage to get herself on the NoFly list on the way there.) Back to back like that, I think I'd need a year or two to recover from the experience. Even if you are able to successfully sedate her, that may not reduce the overall harm; when I've endured things like that at times when I was too exhausted to melt down and completely "out of it", I had even fewer defenses, and the long term effect was even worse on me. A literal nightmare, since the "delayed" input lingered in my processing for months. In other words, you just might have to face the fact that alternate, less stressful, modes of travel might be a far better option for all concerned.


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eric76
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05 Mar 2013, 3:08 pm

My preferred activity in an airplane is to sleep.

I've even slept through landings and takeoffs.



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05 Mar 2013, 3:38 pm

Yeah, if she has a paradoxical reaction it really won't help her. Use something that you know will calm her. Something which is soothingly pleasurable may be the best bet here. Does she like to read? That would be my top choice of entertainment on a plane.

How self-aware is she? Can she judge her own stress level and likelihood of meltdown? Can she communicate those things to you when she needs to?

Will the unfamiliarity of the airport be a problem? It might be possible to visit a couple of times before the actual flight--even go through the check-in procedures, so that she knows what to expect. That is a reasonable accommodation for a disability and the airport should be okay with it.

Social stories can be helpful too; they're a list of things that'll happen during a new event. It would be like a roadmap that would tell her what was going to happen. It's easier when you know what's coming up. You can even take pictures.

Most importantly, this is your adult daughter--she's not twelve anymore. Have a talk with her and ask her about what she will need to get through the airplane flight successfully. I don't know how good she is with communication, but whatever information you can get from her will be helpful. And of course you have over the years become familiar with reading her actions as a form of communication; even when we can't find the words we often still have something to say.

Regarding finding privacy when there is none to be had: Pulling a hood up over your head, or even covering yourself in a blanket, will help shut out some of the extra stimulation. Earplugs or headphones help shut out noise. Unfortunately there's little to be done for smells, except for covering yourself with a blanket to attenuate them somewhat. Hopefully the plane will be well-ventilated.

Your memories of her experiences when she was twelve seem like they're making you afraid that this time will be just as bad. But please remember that as we grow, we learn and become more aware of ourselves and our talents and limitations. She's all grown up now; when she was twelve she was barely into puberty. A lot changes in that time. I think she may surprise you.


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05 Mar 2013, 5:24 pm

theWanderer wrote:
stephanie75 wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Any chance you could sedate her?


I like to avoid sedating her but if it will keep her calm then I suppose I could consider it.


Unless you know how she will react to the medication, that could backfire. Some of us seem to have odd reactions to any medication that affects the mind. In my case, a sedative would be more likely to set me on edge. (No, I haven't tried every possible drug out there - I have no desire to put myself through that. And I've been told it would be easier to sedate a herd of elephants that it would to sedate me. Laughing gas was the only thing that ever had much of an effect on me - and the one time it was used, I scared them with just how much they had to use to get me under, and just how fast I came up out of it.)
Talk to a licensed physician beforehand?



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05 Mar 2013, 6:03 pm

Geekonychus wrote:
theWanderer wrote:
stephanie75 wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Any chance you could sedate her?


I like to avoid sedating her but if it will keep her calm then I suppose I could consider it.


Unless you know how she will react to the medication, that could backfire. Some of us seem to have odd reactions to any medication that affects the mind. In my case, a sedative would be more likely to set me on edge. (No, I haven't tried every possible drug out there - I have no desire to put myself through that. And I've been told it would be easier to sedate a herd of elephants that it would to sedate me. Laughing gas was the only thing that ever had much of an effect on me - and the one time it was used, I scared them with just how much they had to use to get me under, and just how fast I came up out of it.)
Talk to a licensed physician beforehand?


Not enough, since physicians presume the standard reaction is the one you'll have. Even a pharmacist can't necessarily do more than tell you this or that side effect is common or rare. Only experience of what a given drug will do to your daughter is enough to let you be sure of this one. "Licensed physicians" are precisely the people who have given me several things which I would rather never have experienced...


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05 Mar 2013, 6:59 pm

theWanderer wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
theWanderer wrote:
stephanie75 wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Any chance you could sedate her?


I like to avoid sedating her but if it will keep her calm then I suppose I could consider it.


Unless you know how she will react to the medication, that could backfire. Some of us seem to have odd reactions to any medication that affects the mind. In my case, a sedative would be more likely to set me on edge. (No, I haven't tried every possible drug out there - I have no desire to put myself through that. And I've been told it would be easier to sedate a herd of elephants that it would to sedate me. Laughing gas was the only thing that ever had much of an effect on me - and the one time it was used, I scared them with just how much they had to use to get me under, and just how fast I came up out of it.)
Talk to a licensed physician beforehand?


Not enough, since physicians presume the standard reaction is the one you'll have. Even a pharmacist can't necessarily do more than tell you this or that side effect is common or rare. Only experience of what a given drug will do to your daughter is enough to let you be sure of this one. "Licensed physicians" are precisely the people who have given me several things which I would rather never have experienced...


My suggestion would be to go to the doctor for a prescription and have him give enough to try it out at home before she takes it on the flgiht. Leave enough time so that if it doesn't work or works badly you can go back and try something else. Xanax calms me down just fine but Clonopin gives me panic attacks when I'm anxious. Xanax makes my oldest son very angry and belligerant but Clonopin calms him right down.

If you don't want a prescription then you can try over the counter stuff. I sometimes take either Diphenhydramine or Doxylamine for sleep. Also, if you have some Phenergan around there that she has taken for nausea, that will usually make you sleep with the right dose.

Whatever you do, try it at home a week or so before you go so you can see how it works.


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05 Mar 2013, 7:11 pm

Give her the window seat so she can see the world below for intrest/changing seinery sake, make sure she does not have to sit between 2 people. I did a few 1-2 hour trips solo at age 5(prior to AS Dx). Have something to do at all times, books, sketch pads etc. perhaps stress balls or something. Honestly the airport is/was far far worse then the flight itself.



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05 Mar 2013, 7:45 pm

Geekonychus wrote:
theWanderer wrote:
stephanie75 wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Any chance you could sedate her?


I like to avoid sedating her but if it will keep her calm then I suppose I could consider it.


Unless you know how she will react to the medication, that could backfire. Some of us seem to have odd reactions to any medication that affects the mind. In my case, a sedative would be more likely to set me on edge. (No, I haven't tried every possible drug out there - I have no desire to put myself through that. And I've been told it would be easier to sedate a herd of elephants that it would to sedate me. Laughing gas was the only thing that ever had much of an effect on me - and the one time it was used, I scared them with just how much they had to use to get me under, and just how fast I came up out of it.)
Talk to a licensed physician beforehand?


Sure, cuz those people are NEVER wrong... They know EVERYTHING about EVERYONE and how all will react to every possible substance in existence...