Hey, I'm Fueledbycoffee. I made this account a while ago, but never did anything with it until now.
I was first diagnosed when I was twelve, 18 years ago, after some difficulties in school. Every few years I wind up in therapy again, and every few years I get rediagnosed, it seems. Most recent was a year ago. Especially during childhood, I was textbook. I was absolutely obsessed with dinosaurs and astronomy, I didn't speak until I was three, I could remember and recite vast amounts of information, and I preferred being alone. I was known for being weird and asocial, and had zero interest in "normal" activities. As a teenager, I didn't understand the whole obsession with dating (still don't), and could reliably be found at home, in my room, alone and perfectly happy, when others were out "having fun". I tried going out and being social a few times, and it would go well for a while, but the noise and the lights and everything would get to me and I'd have to run off and be alone. That's one reason I took up smoking, it gave me an excuse to excuse myself whenever I wanted.
As an adult, I've gotten better with my social skills, as good as NT most of the time (Although just last week I ended up giving an impromptu lecture on Carl Sagan's Pale Blue Dot to a random guy I bummed a smoke off of), but other than that, I'm still weird, asocial, and obsessive. However, there's a lot of traits that I possess that don't jive with Asperger's, and that's largely what I'm trying to make sense of. For example, Asperger's people are supposed to prefer sameness, routine, and order, and I've largely spent my early adulthood rebelling against that, even if it's something as simple as a determination to try new foods, to something as extreme as moving halfway around the world for school, just to see somewhere new. I don't follow any routine that's not enforced by something such as school schedule, and when that changes I just roll with it.
Also, while I do focus on a few things (coffee, tea, Warren Zevon, biology) consistently, I tend to focus on one thing for a short period of time, such as video games, then suddenly drop it a few weeks later and focus with just as much intensity on something completely different, like Scotch-tasting, then I'll switch to studying the development of Humanism over the course of the Renaissance or something. Is this kind of inconsistency in obsession typical of people with Asperger's?
I suppose that's why I'm here. To learn more about Asperger's and how it applies to me, and how I differ from the norm. Academic interest, mainly.
So, it's a pleasure to meet you all.
05 Mar 2013, 2:16 pm
