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Roxy1989
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07 Mar 2013, 2:30 pm

i find birthdays very stressful do you?

is it an aspie thing? or more a people thing?

lol

rox x


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FishStickNick
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08 Mar 2013, 12:05 am

I hate my birthdays. Hate hate hate hate hate. I hate being the center of attention, I hate having to pretend to exchange social pleasantries. I especially hated it when my brother and other younger extended family members would tease me about the fact that I was getting older (e.g. when I turned 13). There was a period when I was a teenager where I would hide in my bedroom for the duration of the get-together.



Wycca
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08 Mar 2013, 12:39 am

I always looks forward to and hated my birthday at the same time. I looked forward to it because of the gifts, which was usually something that involved dragons since I'm obsessed with the creatures and have over 100 of them in my room at the moment, and the lemon pies my grandma always makes me. :D

I hate it because of all the family that comes around and those two or three aunts that insist on taking my picture. People bright lights hurt my eyes something awful and I can't stand seeing the spots after a camera flash. If someone doesn't want their picture taken stop following them around with the camera or laugh when they wear their hood up the whole time so they can try to avoid as many of the flashes as possible. It is a fun game though playing hide and seek with them by hiding behind people or in closets though.



littlelily613
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08 Mar 2013, 12:43 am

I don't really hate birthdays, just getting older! lol They aren't big things in my house. Just a cake with immediate family (people who live in or used to live in my house and my grandmother). Sometimes my parents take me out to a restaurant to, just the three of us. So yeah, there is nothing to be stressed about for me.


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goldfish21
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08 Mar 2013, 5:59 am

I've never really cared for my own birthday. Many times I've hated it and it's been quite stressful & anxiety inducing because it's been an annual reminder of failures and shortcomings and I'd get pretty frustrated and depressed about not being at ____ or ____ level of achievement in life by x age.

However, I hadn't figured out the whole AS thing until very recently and I now have a lot better understanding of myself and why I fell short of so many of the measurements I had in mind as things I ought to have achieved by x age. Learning about it, and successfully dealing with AS and other afflictions in a myriad of ways, has given me a new perspective on myself and I'm much more self accepting and self loving than I ever have been. Also, I'm in about the best physical shape I've ever been in and am still improving, sooooo, perhaps by the time my next birthday rolls around I might even be looking forward to it vs. having negativity to dwell on.


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CockneyRebel
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08 Mar 2013, 8:19 am

I enjoy birthdays as I see them as a celebration of life. I feel that life is the greatest gift of all, so that it would be fitting to celebrate the day that I was born.


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howzat
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08 Mar 2013, 10:07 am

Since i have got older i don't particularly bother with my birthday as its just like another day to me.



jk1
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08 Mar 2013, 1:19 pm

I've been hating getting older since when I was 18. My birthday is a painful reminder that I'm surely approaching death. It's a rather sad depressing day than a celebration.



RubyWings91
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08 Mar 2013, 3:57 pm

I never disliked my birthdays but I found that I enjoyed them more when my parents started allowing me to choose between having a large group of kids whom I was somewhat friendly with gather at a skating rink I enjoyed or a three hour trip on a lake cruise ship with only my family. I always chose the latter despite there being less presents because it seemed much more personal and enjoyable that way.



Robdemanc
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08 Mar 2013, 4:24 pm

I hate my birthday and everyone elses.



Cash__
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08 Mar 2013, 4:39 pm

I find them depressing. It's yet another reminder of the complete lack of social connections in my life.



palindrome
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08 Mar 2013, 4:51 pm

I'm fine with other people celebrating their own birthday however they want. If they want a big thing and to be the center of attention that's fine and if they're a friend, I'll celebrate with them however to the extent I can.

For myself, I'd almost rather no one even know and the day to pass unnoticed just like any other. I don't need the i-am-special-this-is-my-special-day-just-for-me feeling and I dont' like being the center of attention.



Adamantium
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08 Mar 2013, 7:22 pm

Other people's birthdays were the first place that anything seemed wrong in my life... The idea seemed like fun. The idea of the games was great, but in practice, all the other kids were doing something that I wasn't part of. And I discovered they could be very mean. Lots of tears and hurt feelings, there.

Later, my own birthday was depressing because it was almost always just my family--no friends. I knew there were supposed to be friends. On the other hand, I liked getting presents--the telescope was great! and the stone polishing machine.... awesome.

Later I learned to do better at parties, but I mostly sort of circulated without really connecting with people. Over time I learned that you can go, give the present, circulate a few times, have a conversation with the host, circulate a few more times, then leave. Not bad.

For my birthdays now, I am happy to be with my family--just my wife and kids.

The kids are beginning to have the same issues I did, and the days when we were obligated to invite the whole class are behind us, so those parties are small.

I like gifts and cake, so a celebration is nice, but just the family or a very few guests is best



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08 Mar 2013, 7:30 pm

Indeed they are. The reason is simple: the birthday belonging to me and me alone means people place additional attention squarely on me for that day. I am not comfortable being the focus of attention. I appreciate, but feel very uncomfortable even so, when people say nice things about me or do nice things for me. Also, family calls on the phone all throughout the day. I have a large family. I do not like talking on the phone.

I do not say this as if to scorn the good fortune of having people in my life who pay attention to my date of birth, it is just that these things, because I am autistic, they are hard for me.



daydreamer84
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08 Mar 2013, 9:32 pm

I love my birthday! I just go out for dinner with my family to the restaurant of my choice and I get cake and birthday money. I'm fairly easy to please, I guess.