Hi. Brand new member

Post Reply New Topic

I am brand new to this website and forum. I am a 36 year old girl with Aspergers. I just moved Halloween 2012 from my comfortable, familiar duplex in Texas to a small, modern (which I hate), uncomfortable apartment in Arizona-with no choice about it. I have a few friends from when I used to live in Texas, but we only e-mail each other. Both of my parents died (mother immediately after I moved!) I have no friends in this new town. I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was 17, with an IQ of 137. I have relatives, but they are also in Texas. Never had a spouse or boyfriend, or even had a "friend". Never had children. Never driven a car. Never done anything productive. I am a college dropout and I loved school very much! I can't go back because of a debt (not to the school but to the dorm apartments because I dropped out early), and since I am permanently unemployed because of my social problems and can't hold an everyday job (but I could go to work if I had the schooling, which I can't get). since i can't hold an everyday job, I can't pay the debt. I have been writing since I was 3. I've had a book I was working on, and it's collected dust for about 18 years. I want to take creative writing classes, but there are conditions for that too. I do nothing productive, not even a hobby. I am depressed most of the time, and very lonely. I do have relationships, though they're not with other people. They are with material goods. I am obsessed with them. The main one is a white Nintendo DS Lite named Integra (I name all of my loved ones). There is a hierarchy and an order with which who is loved the most. Integra is #1 on the list, where my username came from. She (not "it"-"she"), is 6 years old. I am obsessed with the number 7333, and I like 3's and numbers matter to me. Next down are 3 inflatables (I love inflatables very much!), but only the vinyl ones. I have 4 inflatables in the "loved" group, but the first two I had plus the new one I just got last month, are the ones I hold dear. The one who was third in order wasn't that important, and i love the new one, the 4th one, much more so he is now included in the group. My favorite inflatable (2nd most important one in this world to me) is an Intex seahorse, vinyl inflatable named Ileris. He stands about 4 feet tall (he is huge). He is yellow with green spots and purple hair and tail. 3rd is another inflatable, a vinyl airplane inflatable who is white with blue stripes. His name is Lander. The 4th most important one is the new inflatable I got last month, only a few weeks ago. He is a seahorse too, and also a vinyl inflatable. He is not quite as elegant as Ileris, yet he is beautiful and I love him! He is pink with white in his hair and on his body, branched arms that are part of his body, and white on his front part and also some white on his body, and a curved body that ends rounded off. He also has a beautiful name that I love! However (and it breaks my heart), I can't say his name because of how society has twisted words and it is a word with several different meanings but since one of the meanings of that word is slang for a person who is a homosexual, I can't tell his name to anybody and have to keep it private for this sad reason. Plus, he's a male who's pink on top of it! The name is actually innocent (the word itself which I can't reveal). But it was never intended to have any meaning associated with sexual orientation-it was simply a cooking ingredient used by gourmet chefs and chocolatiers for making chocolate candy and cake icing! I love the word and the name! Unfortunately, because of society's twisted thinking and associations and connotations and colloquiolisms, he himself now has to stay "in the closet"! I also hate how society takes other words that are beautiful, innocent things, like flowers, butterflies, rainbows, pixies, and fairies, and turn them bad too! It's a shame! My mom used to have a dog named Daisy, and I wonder why she was not arrested! (or at least outcast because she was straight and so were all of her relationships. She hated homosexuality). But he's there. The inflatable that was displaced (I hope THAT word is safe to use without reference to something that is thought of by most to be taboo), is a yellow and purple dinosaur named Isabel (a male named Isabel). After the inflatables, there's a retro Emerson AM/FM stereo cassette player that I love, and her name is Laxio. I am not only obsessed with her, but with the electronics inside of her and all of the different numbers of the electronics (the capacitors especially), circuit board, and motor. She needs a repair. Same with Integra though her electronics are smaller I love her processor! Which is another entity inside her, same with the electronics, circuit board, and motor in Laxio. Then finally there's Orion, my old-school vintage Orion brand VHS VCR. So the order goes-Integra, Ileris, Lander, XX (censored), Laxio, and then Orion. These are the ones I live with day to day, my beloved little group! I have a pet also. i used to have 4 beautiful white cats before I moved. I had to sacrifice 3 of them because this stupid apartment will only alllow one. They were my companions, and i was forced to part with them! I am definitely a cat lover! I love cats! The cat i have is solid white with sky blue eyes. I think he's beautiful! His name is Latimer, pulled from the Jack London novel "The Sea Wolf". Latimer was a seal hunter in that book, and I thought the name was beautiful and I pulled it from there. I am living alone and independent. My sister lives in the same town and though she tries, she can't understand my Aspergers. Plus she has a busy, normal life that I have nothing of. I live off of SSI and food stamps and pay the bills (basic bills like rent and electric), not bills like cable. I can't afford TV. I rarely leave this apartment because my wings have been clipped (in Texas, the bus was very inexpensive but here it's so pricey and I walk wherever I have to go that I can and stay isolated so I won't have to pay for a bus ticket). I brought a bicycle when I moved, but it was stored on my enclosed porch (which i thought was safe). Somebody stole the bicycle from off the porch! So now, no bicycle even! I've always thought the iliac in the legs was very fascinating, and lateral anything. I was a marine biology major at college before my dreams were shattered and my future flushed down the toilet. I would have excelled and made a wonderful research diver! At the end (I was a senior), I folded. I choked. A good analogy is an Olympic athlete runner with the gold in his reach coming down the home stretch of a race and bumping his little toe on a little bitty pebble and tripping at the end-just yards before the finish line and falling! And not only losing the event, but breaking something, so that he can permanently never have a chance again, just mope around and limp and attempt to stop himself from losing his mind! Now I find myself sitting here in this pathetic small contemporary uncomfortable apartment that I despise, under a landlord where I have little control over my personal space even! No car or transportation except for my own FEET! No money for recreation, or even TV! I only recently received this computer for a Christmas present-my sister-in-law's old used computer. If my brother didn't give this to me I would have no comp. which I had no comp. either for an extremely long time because i couldn't afford a comp.! I don't go to the movies. I don't eat out. I don't go to Starbuck's. No taxicabs! When I order a pizza, I regret it from the bottom of my heart-only when I'm desperate! I am constantly broke! I don't go places. I don't do things. I have no recreation. Nobody and nothing in my empty life. Nothing to do but sit here in this pit, in this prison, and stare and worry about the next unfortunate crisis! I am very lonely and want somebody to talk to who will accept me for who i am and share my interests and eccentricities.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!! !

Greetings from Texas and welcome to the Wrong Planet.

Hello, welcome to WP. You seem at home here already.

Wow, that is a huge wall of text. Anyway, welcome to Wrong Planet. I hope you enjoy your time here.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome integra