had an epiphany.

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I don't do drugs, ever.

And look where that's gotten you.. right where you are; anxious & upset.

I'm not saying drugs are the answer to everything. I'm just saying I think it's absurd to take a zero drugs stance to life when there are plant derived medicines, whether prescribed or grown in a garden, that can provide many healing properties to our bodies, minds & spirits.

I used to smoke pot myself. the problem is it made me more anxious and paranoid and I already had a problem with anxiety.

I've not gone to jail either, I plan to keep it that way thanks.

I also can't take any anti-anxiety drugs and then go out as I have to drive 20 miles to get where I'm going.. and basically all the effective prescription ones are 1) extremely habit forming and 2) carry warnings "Not to operate heavy machinery"...

This.
Weed only makes my social issues worse, and actually gave me psychotic/schizophrenic symptoms. NOT fun.

I like weed and think it should be as legal as herbal tea, but must concur that it doesn't have a good social effect for everybody. I can only smoke alone or with a "comfortable person" because it increases my introversion. It does work for some people, though, so the only way to know for sure is try it out in a safe environment in small doses.

The quality effects how you react as well

Nor have I and I intend to keep it that way, too, thanks.

Those warning labels are for legal liability of the drug companies and pharmacists. You're not to operate heavy machinery or cars etc until you know how you react to the medication and are certain that it's safe. Some people react to some meds in some ways that would make it completely unsafe to drive, others have such mild side effects even right from the first dose that it's perfectly fine to operate a car. I know because I've managed to do it just fine countless times in the past. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist about trying some anti-anxietal drugs to see which one works best for you and to determine what level of sleepiness or motor skills side effects they have on you so you can see if there's one that will allow you to still safely drive a car. Think about it, there are millions upon millions of drivers on the road.. and many of them are people who take anti-anxietal drugs. The label may be very black and white, but life is grey and there's a good chance there's a med out there that could improve your life and not inhibit your ability to drive whatsoever.

the package insert usually has the description as mentioned above do not operate heavy machinery and tell you know how you will react also I wouldn't drink while taking that medication until you've done it at home a couple of times and make sure it doesn't affect you

I'd rather drink thanks. But I'm not stupid enough to do that and then drive...

Sorry, Substances are not the answer to this equation.

How do you know that if you haven't tried any of them?

Maybe music is the answer. I find it calming to wear headphones and listen to the radio while out in public, on the train, shopping, running/exercising etc.

Maybe meditation will help keep your mind at ease? http://www.freemeditation.com

Maybe a combination of several things will work for you.. but one thing is for sure: Do as you've always done & get as you've always gotten. Our innate resistance to change is often a hinderance to healing and improving ourselves. Go read up on the logic of improving anything and it might be enough of a logical explanation to allow yourself to be more open to changes that may improve you. In particular, go read up on continuous process improvement & the Japanese concept of Kaizen.. as maybe a little logic will help you.

If a psychological explanation can be found, and strategies implemented I am sure I can work through it. I just have to find the strategy, alas music won't really help me as the problems arise when I'm trying to socialize with people, public transit and stuff doesn't bother me.. not all bars or restaurants bother me.. just ones where too much is going on at once.. when I was a kid going into a Chucky Cheese was a nightmare.

Another reason that all anti-psychotics or SSRI's are off the table is that, for me, they cause tremendous sexual disfunction. So essentially, by taking them in order to be able to interact with people in noisy spaces, I would no longer have any reason to go and interact with people in noisy spaces.

Basically, I'm going out to try and meet girls, if I can't have sex with a hypothetical girl that I could potentially meet.. then theres no point in going out.. and thus no point in taking meds in the first place.

No, as soon as I move to where I can start walking to these places, or taking the bus, rather than having to drive for half an hour.. I can do a couple of shots and a lot of the problem will go away... but I still could use some strategies on dealing with the leftover effects... other than meditation.. since I don't believe in eastern mysticism.

What things have you tried & what things are you willing to try?

It sounds like you're very aware of the things you don't like, but just want to complain about them vs. try something new in the pursuit of a solution that works for you.

I'd have never thought meditation would be as beneficial as it has been until I tried it, either. Although, it hasn't been the single best thing to help me deal & cope, admittedly, but it does have it's benefits.

What about diet? What about exercise? Do you keep yourself healthy and fit? All of these things are factors in how our brains operate.

IMO, you need to be more open to trying vs. automatically shooting down potential solutions w/o so much as giving them a second thought never mind an honest chance.

I do work out, I do push-ups and free weight exercises daily.

I'm pretty good about my diet, provided I remember to eat, but I rarely just sit and snack on anything.

I'm in pretty good shape for all intents and purposes.

I tend to dress in clothes that fit and wear them correctly, but I don't really follow the popular fashions as right now it's a lot of patterns and bright colors for me and I just don't want to wear that.

I'm willing to try a lot of things, but so far the only things that anyone in here has really pushed are Drugs and eastern mysticism. I'm sorry but I have no desire to take drugs of any sort unless my life depends on it.. I don't even take pain pills when I have dental work done.. and the meditation and what not is just too pseudo-religious for me...

Since alcohol is the thing that works for you then go with it. Drive to the bar and have a shot.. or two.. or a shot and a drink to get you comfortable. Your body will metabolize it before you have to drive home. One or two shots is what you said you need to feel comfortable.. which really isn't that much. I am going to post a link to an article that explains it for you and in the article there is a link to calculate for yourself how long it will take to work it out of your system. For me.. If I had a shot it would take 24 minutes to metabolize. It will likely take you longer than 24 minutes to enter a bar, find a girl and convince her to sleep with you just a little humor there.

Also, the mind is an amazing machine. I dated a guy before my bf who looking back I am positive was aspie too. His interest was music and he could pump out great songs 3 or 4 a night. He use to have me listen to them and wanted to discuss them but I am not musically talented and he would get annoyed. I knew what I liked but when I heard it I heard the song not the individual instramints. He would have me listen for each one individually and it didn't take much for me to isolate them.. pretty much right away once I tried it. Now I can hear a song or pick it apart. Try focusing on different things in the bar (while you are waiting for your shot to kick in) Then when the collective racket starts to disorientate you focus on a single sound or smell and identify it then another. It may be your senses are confused because too much is coming at you at once. When you isolate it you are able to calm your mind. What you are discribing is not a specifically aspie trait. My mom and sister both have/had the same issue. Crowded places disorient them. My sister found great results with waht I have suggested for you. My mom didn't try it. I had worked in restaurants for 20 years. They are crowded and disorienting and I learned the technique so I could do my job better. I could take orders at my table and hear my other tables conversations and just a hum of the other racket over the top of it when I used the isolation... in between serving tables i just heard the loud noises and smell of food etc.
http://www.alcohol-stuff.co.uk/guides/h ... ystem.html

Hurm yeah well once I get done transfering schools and move I'll be walking distance from all the bars and stuff and it won't be an issue anymore. But thanks for the link!

And yeah if I take 2 shots, it generally leaves me feeling fairly good for about 2-3 hours.