Internal meltdown? Tricked into socializing

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Triple__B
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13 Mar 2013, 1:27 pm

So especially lately I haven't got out much other than work. Today my wife wanted to take the dog for a walk which I love to do so I agreed. We headed off, but she started off in the other direction than normal, which I immediately pointed out, and she replied "I just want to do something different, the dog will like something new." So after making another unusual turn, we end up at her friends house who is waiting for us at the gate with her 2 dogs. By this time I realize I have been duped into a social situation that I didn't prepare for. Long story short, I spent the whole time petting the dog until I decided to say I had to leave and get ready for work. Her friend also made the comment to me that I don't talk much, which was pretty obvious by the 4 words I said the whole time. I also seemed to be internally brewing up anger that I was tricked into this situation and on the walk home I felt like I was ready to explode, but I couldn't. I am shaking as I write this. I have never really considered myself to get meltdowns, but now I wonder as I realize that I have felt this way before, that maybe I internalize my meltdowns? All I know is that I feel extremely drained and yucky from this 45 minute encounter.

Has anyone felt similar, and if so how do you deal with this type of thing? Thanks in advance.


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sapphireblue
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13 Mar 2013, 3:16 pm

I don't understand this. if your wife wanted to visit with her friend why didn't she go by herself? This makes no sense to me. I've never wanted to take hubby with me when meeting girlfriends. Couples is different. well if he doesn't want to go to couples fine with me either way.
It's no fun for me having him just sit or stand there. I'd be too involved visiting to pay any attention to him anyway so what's the point



TinyDancer
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13 Mar 2013, 3:42 pm

If my friend did something like that to me - tricked me into a social situation, I'd be raging mad. I assume you love your wife because she's your wife, but for example if my bf did something like that to me I'd "divorce" him right off, or there'd be a serious long time in which we'd have to directly sort out what caused that manipulation.

My opinion: you need to make this a priority to sort out with your wife or it will happen again and you'll start feeling like you can't trust her (thats whatwould happen to me).



mercifullyfree
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13 Mar 2013, 3:46 pm

That would piss me the hell off. Deception and lack of any warning is not a good way to get someone who has difficulties to feel comfortable enough to try socializing.



chris5000
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13 Mar 2013, 4:54 pm

I used to but now I just let it go, now im just indifferent too the situation though I probably wont say much.



Triple__B
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13 Mar 2013, 5:18 pm

I think my wife honestly had good intentions (in her mind) getting me out of the house today. She is a really caring person, and I think she meant well in her trick. I think she just doesn't really understand that I mentally prepare for a social situation in advance. I might have given the wrong impression about my wife in my original post, for that I'm sorry.

I was more wondering about the internal meltdowns. Is it possible to internalize a meltdown? For those who think so, how do you describe the feeling? Thanks.


_________________
AQ -48
EQ - 6
Your Aspie score: 164 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 29 of 200
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world. Not even our troubles. ~ Charles Chaplin