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ScrewyWabbit
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15 Mar 2013, 3:13 pm

A conservative's approach:

So, you want to get to a higher floor? We'll build a privatized escalator and charge for each ride. Maintenance costs money, so we'll do as little maintenance on the escalator as we can get away with. The government should not be allowed to regulate the escalator operator in any way - no one wants to use an unsafe escalator, but don't worry, if enough people are maimed or die on the escalator, market pressures will correct for any escalator safety shortfalls (by the way, speaking of market pressures, competition is bad, so no other competing escalators or other methods of elevation shall be allowed in proximity to this escalator.) The escalator operator shall be immune from all claims of liability in civil and criminal matters, no matter how liable they are in reality. The escalator operator may make any and all claims about the escalator, and advertise such claims to its heart's content, no matter how unfounded or how demonstrably untrue such claims may be. The escalator shall exist "as is" - no provisions will be made to accommodate anyone who is otherwise unable to use the escalator. If you're in a wheelchair, too bad, you're stuck on the ground floor. Under no circumstances shall escalator company employees be allowed to unionize or organize, and any attempt by the employees to engage in collective bargaining with the escalator operator is prohibited. There shall be no limit on the hours that escalator personnel can be required to work by the escalator owner, and they shall be available 24x7x365 to the escalator operator, there shall be no vacation for escalator company personnel (except of course for the executive team), paid or unpaid. Bonuses and stock options for non-executive personnel shall be paid based on company performance. Executive compensation and bonuses shall be whatever the executives feel like paying themselves, irrespective of conditions in the job market or company performance. escalator maintenance personnel shall be paid as little as the escalator operator can get away with. The escalator operator shall not be required to pay taxes. In exchange, the government shall be required to: provide financial assistance to the escalator operator should the escalator operator ever face financial insolvency for any reason, especially due to irresponsible risk taking by the operator's executive team - such assistance shall include out-sized bonuses for all executive team members, b) provide defense of the escalator in the form of police services and military defense, and c) create infrastructure and otherwise provide an environment where people will be able and encouraged to reach and use the escalator. The escalator operator is an American company and so after all is is Pro-American. Accordingly, the company shall be headquartered in the Cayman Islands, maintain its bank accounts in Switzerland, purchase all escalator equipment from China and its labor force shall consist exclusively of workers imported from India.



Kraichgauer
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15 Mar 2013, 5:45 pm

ruveyn wrote:
Kraichgauer wrote:
I honestly didn't see the humor.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer


All those people had to do was walk up to the next floor using the stopped escalator as a stairway.

ruveyn


Yes, that's common sense.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer



faithfilly
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16 Mar 2013, 1:32 pm

The video is funny because it shows how diminished good sense can get. However, I'm not so sure how funny this is considering how much those who have good sense must suffer because others lack it.


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Fnord
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16 Mar 2013, 1:49 pm

thomas81 wrote:
ruveyn wrote:
thomas81 wrote:
What about socialists?
They would make their own escalator but it would not work as well as a capitalist escalator.
on the other hand everyone could access it.

And on the gripping hand, it wouldn't go anywhere.


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