um is it a good thing or a bad thing i feel like a guy more

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i feel like a guy more then a girl most of the time and when i do feel like a girl its a) its like 3am or b) i adjust to acting like one.
i look at my body and just want to fix it.
i hate it so so much when someone calls me she or her and i just want to correct them sometimes but i dont. my real name makes me want to flip a table.
if i said this to my family they would be like oh.
at school i might get stares and called things if i actually still went (i do tutoring after school instead of actual school)
im not sure if this is a good thing or a bad but
i say im genderqueer but im not sure ugh
not feeling female when you are is like moose thinking its a goose and a goose that thinks its a moose.

I have to say that I COMPLETELY understand. I am female, but I have always felt like I had a male brain. My body wasn't much of an issue until I got older and didn't work out all the time. I developed these curves and went, holy hell! Where did THESE come from. And I did not lke the curviness. Not to mention that people treat you completely differently, and that the guys you could always hang out with, you can't hang with as easily anymore. I never got along very easily with women, so looking lik people I didn't understandwas not easy. Still is not easy.

Do you want to change things, or just get more accepting of the body you find yourself in?

When I was twelve I asked my mom if I could be a boy... But I do like men.. but I could also be with a woman if I chose... so I dunno.. In the book Aspergirls she explains this quite well and it appears to be quite common among Aspie women... I am not sure about men though.

First of all, it's not a bad thing.

Second of all, it sounds to me like your transgender.

I do kinda want to change things. I'm thinking about talking about it to my mom sometime next week. lately i have been feeling more and more uncomfortable off and on. I'm still not very sure myself. I have talked to my a few of my friends about it one who understands things like this more then i do and she said that i might be trans. i have always felt more like a guy my whole life but i never really thought about until about 2 months ago. when i talk to my mom about this i hope she doesnt think this is a phase because im sure its not!

Hi silentnepeta,

How old are you? You will probably find that you will need to wait a while before you are able to pursue transition, as the treatment guidelines for transition require you to have had a male identity consistently for at least two years. This will be especially the case if you are young and autistic as they will want to make doubly sure you are doing the right thing. You could ask your mother if you can go for therapy with a gender specialist, which will hopefully help you to manage things and figure out your feelings. It will also reassure future specialists you see that you have been exploring the issue thoroughly with a professional and they will be more likely to OK your transition.

I transitioned from female to male. It was before I was diagnosed on the autism spectrum and it's interesting to see in hindsight how common transgender feelings are among biological females with autism. The two things seem to have common causes (both are related to levels of testosterone in brain development). I was quite happy being an androgynous kid until I reached puberty, at which point I was pretty much, "NO". Transitioning was definitely the right thing for me to do, because I couldn't cope as a female at all and it was a huge help emotionally, but it's not right for everyone, and if you can be comfortable in your birth gender that would be much easier, especially for an autistic person who already has difficulty negotiating social situations.

If you have any questions about transitioning I am happy to answer them. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Things like this are neither good nor bad. This is simply who you are.

What can be good or bad is how we respond to these things. Acknowledging the truth of their existence is an important first step. This isn't a case of a goose believing it's a moose. It's a case of silentnepeta believing reality.

I feel neither male or female. I feel androgynous, but I present as a woman despite wearing men's clothes, sometimes. I do sometimes get a bit freaked when people call me a 'lady' or whatever, but I'm not offended. I don't care how people read my gender as much as I care about how I feel inside.

You definitely sound more on the male side of the spectrum, though. There's nothing wrong with that. Do what makes you feel the most comfortable. People should respect that, and if they don''t, sod 'em.

actually i have a minor update to this ahaha. i told my mom and family and a few other people about and they are okay with it. except i think its going to take a while before they are more okay with it though. its going to be more of a shock on my little brother though. then my dad and since my parents are divorced and the stuff with him is a long story i dont see him often and i have always been his baby girl because im the youngest girl out of 4.

^ It's just good to know that you're not alone.

yup! the only down sides are i dont see him often because he lives in a town near mine and we arent in the same school district. i really want to go back to school because i really dont want to go to tutoring that much anymore plus people ask why i dont come to school all the time and i cant answer them because they only know about my panic attacks not my asperger's! plus going back to but i'm afraid someone will say something about it and people will bully me or maybe try to beat me up! i'm not sure if im just over thinking it or what but i worried it would happen because im not very strong or have munch muscle because of my ehlers danlos and i'm only 87 pounds and 5'1. if someone does i really dont know what i would do. if i tell a teacher or someone people would get mad at me probably and if they try to hurt me i cant fight back or try to get away very well and im not friends with a lot of people who would and tell them to stop and help me out of there.
i'm probably just over thinking it but i dont trust many kids at my school and i know how some of them are and some annoy me or i just get too shy around them and barely talk.
plus on top of it my friends at school arent the brightest crayons in the crayola factory so they wouldnt get it or understand with me explaining it a lot and they are all girls and someone will say something about that fact too probably. then again the boys at my school scare me or make me angry. i'm just going to wait to talk about the school thing to my mom though its better to wait anyways since school is ending in a week and about a month from now.
yet i will have a good summer mostly in july on the 10-17th i might be going to new york to see my internet friends and we have been planing this for so long and we finally get to do it.

I've felt more male than female for as far back as I can remember. I remember people telling me what a pretty little girl I was. I'd tell those people in anger, "I'm not a girl!" Every time relatives came to spend the week, they'd ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. every time, I've told them "I want to be a man when I grow up." There were times when my dad was teaching my younger sister and I table manners. He'd ask me, "What would you do if you were on a date with a hot man and he saw you holding your silverware with your fists?" I'd tell him, "It's never going to happen!"

The only reason I didn't get a sex change is because I look like a young version of Mick Avory during some of his chubbier years during the 1960s. If I didn't look like Mick Avory, I would have gotten the operation done at least 15 years ago.

I've always felt like I'm a male in a female body, though not to the point where I would consider myself to be transgender. It's almost like I am simultaneously male and female, for lack of a better description.

I more or less dress like a guy and have short hair, and because I have a naturally deeper voice I often get mistaken for a guy. It tends to piss off the people that are around me when this happens, but I'm usually indifferent to it and may even play along.