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theshawngorton
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30 Mar 2013, 8:58 am

For me? Yeah, easily, I'm told. Even my own brothers can take advantage of me, but I don't mind them doing that, as long as there is alcohol involved....Which has happened before.



lshoe26
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30 Mar 2013, 9:14 am

Yes alllllllll the time!! !! !



lshoe26
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30 Mar 2013, 9:23 am

Yes alllllllll the time!! !! !



theshawngorton
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30 Mar 2013, 10:06 am

First of all, DOUBLE POST.

Second of all, I think it's a common trait of autism to be/get easily taken advantage of.



Moondust
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30 Mar 2013, 4:23 pm

It's very easy to notice when someone is trying to take advantage of you.

I find that some people who whine about being often used, just prefer it that way - makes them feel sought after or kind or are just too lazy to bother with the consequences of setting boundaries. They then just unburden their frustration by whining to others. I used to have a colleague who was always nice to everyone as a rule, so she got used an awful lot and she'd constantly whine about it. But she wasn't stupid, she knew what she was doing very well: among the many who used her, there were some that did return her favors, and that was how she advanced a lot in life.

What took me 40 years was not to learn how to stop being used, but to discover that there was such a thing as people using people.


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namaste
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31 Mar 2013, 4:46 am

I am being used often.

The only friend i had in my previous colony, used me to get free books. She never visited me at my new place but when she came to know i have put up a sale of books she came announced to grab the books

Colleague at work calls me up and asks me to do her work......when i refuse she makes all sort of excuses and most of my colleagues dump their work on me

My cousins and husbands cousin call up when they want to get some favour done......once its done they dont bother calling up

Its better to be alone then keep doing favours for others and being used. Somehow they know we will be foolish enough to do their bidding.


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Summer_Twilight
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31 Mar 2013, 10:36 am

[quote="Moondust"]It's very easy to notice when someone is trying to take advantage of you.

I find that some people who whine about being often used, just prefer it that way - makes them feel sought after or kind or are just too lazy to bother with the consequences of setting boundaries. They then just unburden their frustration by whining to others. I used to have a colleague who was always nice to everyone as a rule, so she got used an awful lot and she'd constantly whine about it. But she wasn't stupid, she knew what she was doing very well: among the many who used her, there were some that did return her favors, and that was how she advanced a lot in life.

What took me 40 years was not to learn how to stop being used, but to discover that there was such a thing as people using people.[

That is the problem that I had with the co-worker. She had trouble communicating by saying no and being "Generous." Then she would go and whine like that in addition to spreading lies about the people who she reached out to.


I also used to be friends with a girl who lost more and more interest in me as time wore in and she began to mature teen-wise. Anyway, she started dating when she was about 12 years old right? She also began to shut me out of her life as her first boyfriend was more important and interesting. I was also too babyish since all I wanted to talk about were cartoons at 15. So, she would only seem to call me whenever she truly wanted something.

IE- She calls me up one night when I am in the middle of family movie night with my mother and sisters and she whines about being too scared to call her boyfriend to ask him out since they have been fighting. She then decides that it is up to me perform her dirty work by calling him up asking him out for her. I tell her, "No" and that her boyfriend is disgusting and hang up. Meanwhile, you can hear her huffing on the phone with an attitude. You could hear her going, "Well..ex.."

I have been used but over the years, I am getting better and picking up when someone manipulates and uses you for things.



Last edited by Summer_Twilight on 01 Apr 2013, 8:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

Drehmaschine
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31 Mar 2013, 11:17 am

If it's something I like doing and it doesn't ruin my productivity, I don't mind getting used by people. I have people at work ask me to run their machines while they go on break, usually too long of a break. I get to learn what they measure and their process.

Summer_Twilight wrote:
I worked with someone who was in the process of getting married and I said that I wanted to go. So they let me go under one condition, they have trouble finding someone to sit at the guest table. So I filled the spot.

I invited them back to my things and basically got nothing in return such as they did not bother to show up like their promised. There was often this excuse that they left their phone at home and so they could never call me.

Then they also spread even more lies about the wedding by saying that they never liked me and that I showed up at the wedding unannounced. So the story behind the guest book was because they did not want me bothering their "Invited guests."

Those people just like to create Drama. It wouldn't matter what you did, they'd still twist it around to make you look bad.