Should I start Dating, Even Though I'll be Moving Soon?

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lotuspuppy
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26 Mar 2013, 10:14 am

Greetings from the frozen North! I wanted to bounce an idea off the forum at large, and see what you guys think.

In a few months, I will be moving from my midsized, sleepy city to a larger city made mostly of transplants. I mention this comparison because I think dating is a bit more accessible in this new city. As such, I plan to start with online dating. I did not want to start where I am now because I think that would be rude. I am most compatible with someone I can have a relationship with, and I really don't want to start a relationship that I'll have to end. But I can always try dating for either casual hookups, or even just coffee or lunch. It would be practice, even though it'd be a bit on the superficial side.

What do you guys think? Should I start online dating even though I will be leaving soon, or wait until I move into my new city?



aspiesandra27
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26 Mar 2013, 10:33 am

It's a risk in many ways. You could find someone you fall in love with, or vice-versa.

But I guess if you are upfront about your intentions and what you want, you won't be leading anyone into something that won't happen.

How much long to go before you actually do move?



CharlieSheen
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26 Mar 2013, 10:35 am

Yup, youve got it right. Ive moved more than once a year since high school and had the problem of women telling me AFTER that they were more into me. Could be toying with me but thats the part I fear, not a casual encounter that ends abruptly.

Yes, you will have better luck finding a long term, in the long term. Short term I wouldnt turn down a good one either :)

Oh and plentyoffish > eharm. Hands down.



cathylynn
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26 Mar 2013, 12:37 pm

i'd wait.



Stargazer43
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26 Mar 2013, 12:45 pm

You're in the exact same situation I find myself in. The key, like AspieSandra mentioned, is to be upfront with whoever you are talking to. I went on a few dates with someone, but I was completely upfront with her that I was going to be moving soon and I wasn't really sure what, if anything, I was looking for. So if you do go on any dates, be upfront with not only them but yourself...go in knowing that it probably isn't going to develop into a relationship and just enjoy your time with the other person.

Unfortunately living a transient lifestyle doesn't exactly work out well for developing relationships...I've been moving pretty much once a year for the past 5 years, and my new job is going to relocate me across the country once every 3 years (love the job and the opportunity to see the country, but it does add some difficulties to my personal life).



goldfish21
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26 Mar 2013, 4:07 pm

Be transparent about it ahead of time and date for the social interaction practice, as it'll make you that much more comfortable meeting new people once you move. Just tell 'em you're leaving town in a few months for work/school/life/whatever & aren't looking for anything long term, but you'd still like to get out of the house for some fun. You might find others in a similar boat, or others who aren't looking to get sexual but just want a social night out, or people who are just getting into (or back into) the dating scene who aren't sure if they want anything long term either and just want to get out etc. No harm in going out for coffee/dinner/some activity etc and just having a good social time. No harm in getting laid, either, if it goes there & that's what you're both looking to get out of it. Whether you're going to live somewhere for weeks, or a lifetime, there's no harm in going out and meeting people and going on a few dates - as, after all, it's not as if anyone's exchanging wedding vows before they meet! There's no obligatory commitment to be seeking a long term relationship no matter how long you live somewhere. Stop thinking about the infinite potential possibilities of the future and focus more on the moment, just live and enjoy life. If that includes going out on some dates, do it.


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CharlieSheen
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26 Mar 2013, 4:14 pm

^

This