Talking on the telephone

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Although I've gotten a little better at this over the years, it's still a problem for me. I can't see the person's face so I don't know how to respond. Usually I have to plan a whole speech out before I make a phone call. If the call doesn't go as planned I have to think up a new speech while talking.

Then it gets really awkward when the conversation hits a big pause. It's when both me and the other person don't know what to say next and there's an awkward silence.

Does anyone else have this problem?

Yes, I really dislike talking on the phone. It's already extremely difficult for me to read people, and taking away the aspect of being face to face with some adds a whole new degree of difficulty. When I'm making important phone calls (dr.'s, banks etc.), I actually write down what I need to say. I definitely understand your problem.

Yeah I sometimes have this problem as well. Though whilst I used to prepare whole speeches, I now memorise a few main points to use in the call or write them down beforehand.

I at least have gotten to the point where I can talk about interests on the phone but it shows where I cam from.

At least I'm not alone with this problem. Maybe I just need more practice with the telephone. Even when I know a phone call is important I keep putting it off.

It's the same kind of thing with Skype (I don't really use it at all now). When my friends showed it to me I thought the computer was talking.

Haha, I also wasn't very comfortable the first time I used it, that was at school when the teacher wanted us to discuss our work with another class in another school. So it was someone I didn't know and I wasn't sure what to expect. Since then I've used it a handful of times to keep up with friends who've moved abroad and had some good conversations. It's better than phone conversations in some ways as you can see the other person's face so you can see what they're thinking, and if there's a break in the conversation you have the excuse that you was doing something else on the computer at the time. Though I haven't been using it recently.

I'm not sure why, but I don't think I had any issues with the telephone. I mean, I prefer to use other forms of communication, but my phones are never far from my side.

Yup, I can't use a telephone at all any more due to anxiety...hell I can barely manage to be in the same room as a telephone!

I used to work in a call centre and before that I worked in IT support so I was always on the phone, but this worked fine for me because I knew exactly what to say and how to guide the phone call - it was also easy as either I was dealing with fellow nerds who were all business, or I was dealing with screaming angry customers which I find infinitely easier to deal with than happy friendly customers. With normal telephone calls there's no formal structure, and if you can't judge from body language what is really being said or when you can talk it's really tricky.

My telephone conversations go something like this;
Example #1 -'Hello'...'Hello?'...'Hello?'...'....'...*panic and hang-up*
Example #2 - 'Hello'...'Hello, is this xxxx?'...'yes'...'hello?'...'hello?'...'...'...*panic hang-up*
In these examples there is a formal structure there, but for whatever reason that conversation doesn't progress and without body language or any idea what the call is about or how it's going to go it's really hard to know what to do next, then when the conversation gets going you've no time to think about your response so you just get really panicked and anxious so trip-up over your own words.

It's manageable. If it's formal/business I will sometimes prepare a list of questions on paper I want answered.

Otherwise, I continue to maintain a weird dislike of answering machines. It's hard to explain why, but if I hear a beep or a voice mail start my first impulse is to hangup.

phone calls are comforting in that there is no expectation of body language [either reception or transmission]. everything i need to say can be encapsulated in my words.