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GnarlSnag
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27 Mar 2013, 4:56 pm

Has anyone else experienced this? I have had experiences (mostly when I was in my early teens) where I have unintentionally annoyed, pissed-off, or creeped out people on the web who I was trying to socialize with. There are people whose blogs I visit who are really cool and I want to somehow be acknowledged by them but I don't know how to 'approach' them non-awkwardly. Especially in mediums such as tumblr which are highly informal and a lot of the jargon and behavior seems to be driven by reiterations and reformulations of inside jokes?



minervx
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27 Mar 2013, 5:02 pm

the thing about the internet is that its conducive to people behaving in a way they wouldn't in real life. people are actually much friendlier in real life, however, it is easier and more comfortable for a less social person to rely on the internet too much



Mindslave
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27 Mar 2013, 5:42 pm

The Internet makes it too easy to depersonalize people, since you are just a username with a worded opinion. Establishing common ground is tough to do in a vacuum, and even tougher to do on the Internet, where canned conversation is the norm, not the exception.



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27 Mar 2013, 6:51 pm

minervx wrote:
the thing about the internet is that its conducive to people behaving in a way they wouldn't in real life. people are actually much friendlier in real life, however, it is easier and more comfortable for a less social person to rely on the internet too much


Except that people on the internet who are rude constantly with little or no provocation are just being being their "true self". But then they usually act pseudo-friendly to others in real life.



icyfire4w5
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28 Mar 2013, 8:09 am

Um, I praised somebody through email recently, but she misunderstood me and accused me of being sarcastic when I genuinely meant what I said. Since she was the one being irrational, I just pretended that I hadn't heard anything.



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28 Mar 2013, 3:01 pm

icyfire4w5 wrote:
Um, I praised somebody through email recently, but she misunderstood me and accused me of being sarcastic when I genuinely meant what I said. Since she was the one being irrational, I just pretended that I hadn't heard anything.


That's another thing about certain people's internet behavior that differs from real life. They often overreact and snap at somebody over the slightest hint of something negative being implied about themselves, whereas in real life they try to be much more diplomatic about it.



goldfish21
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29 Mar 2013, 4:03 am

lol I was banned numerous times from a forum I used to post on years ago.. in hindsight, I deserved to be banned for my behaviour. Thing was, at the time, in the moment, for the most part I had no clue what it was about me and what I'd post that would trigger such fury from others. Now that I've figured out the whole AS thing, welllllll, it makes sense why I pissed them off.. and if we were all hanging out in person and I behaved the same way verbally, I'd have annoyed them irl too.

Internet socializing and communication is merely an extension of your real world capabilities. Improve one, you should improve the other. It's all about your attitude and perceptions, and knowing when it's appropriate or inappropriate to say/do certain things & why - ie what the social rules are that govern them. Figure these things out better online or off and you'll do better at both. Pay close attention to how others behave, how it's different from yourself, and learn from them.


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Cafeaulait
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29 Mar 2013, 9:01 am

I dont spend that much time on the internet except for this forum.



Drehmaschine
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29 Mar 2013, 9:19 am

Cafeaulait wrote:
I dont spend that much time on the internet except for this forum.

Same for me.



Marky9
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29 Mar 2013, 6:33 pm

I have found it easy to both misunderstand and to be misunderstood in chat posts. If 85% of communication is non-verbal, and internet chatting deprives one of that, and if as an Aspie I tend to make comments that are a bit off-the-wall or otherwise out of sync with the prevailing convo thread, then if my comments are the least bit prone to misinterpretation, then yeah, chances are that I will be misunderstood. And someone will get annoyed, and I will get socially reprimanded in some way. Maybe I will be ignored, or maybe someone who likes to hide behind online anonymity will bash or bully. My experience has been that it all comes with the territory of internet chat.

Sometimes when I realize that I am consistently out of sync with everyone else in a chat, I just mark it off to me being in a particularly Aspie space at that time. So I log off and go to something else for a bit. If I come back a few hours later things usually go better. Just my experience.



MannyBoo
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01 Apr 2013, 7:54 pm

Social rejection in an environment of mutual or controlled anonymity (the internet) is trivial and to me is not worth fussing over it. You can always find another planet somewhere in that universe..

Social rejection in an environment with less or no anonymity (real life) is more damaging and much more difficult to deal with. We have no where to be but in this body, now.



WrongWay
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02 Apr 2013, 10:35 pm

minervx wrote:
the thing about the internet is that its conducive to people behaving in a way they wouldn't in real life. people are actually much friendlier in real life, however, it is easier and more comfortable for a less social person to rely on the internet too much


This, and also the fact it's easy for people to misunderstand each other by just reading a block a text (as you lose out on nonverbal communication). The good thing is that getting 'rejected' on the Internet isn't such a big deal as getting rejected from someone you know in person and easier to walk away from.


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