Hating therapy...

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InnaLucia, I am not in Great Britain and I know from others' posts that the NHS is probably trying to save money, but that is not the case in the US. There is cost cutting etc. here too, so with the milder cases of Aspergers they are more likely to say someone is not clinically significantly impacted, or it does not impact their school work, etc. but you can get diagnosis before seven, especially if it is Autism or PDD-NOS.

If therapy or school is extremely distressing for a child then I don't think he or she is gong to get much out of it. Even though a child might be eligible for preschool at 3 doesn't mean it is the right thing for him. In my experience, personal relationships are so important for my son. He LOVES his OT and as a result he is making a lot of progress in those sessions. He is able to persist with non-preferred activities and can tolerate changes to the plan or schedule. At school, he has been with the same aide for several months and doing well. The school is trying to work a different aide into his schedule so he doesn't get "too attached". He has grown to trust the aide he has spent the past months with and does not trust the new person. I think the new aide causes more problems than she solves but I'm not in a position yet to object to her involvement. People working with extremely anxious children need to go one tiny step at a time. The OP said her daughter is doing better now that the therapists work with her in her own bedroom. This is a good step on their part. I'm not a professional but I think they should back up a few more steps and set their own agendas aside for a while. IMHO they should do nothing except activities that she wants to do. From what I've read about other kids and seen with my son, anyone who is willing to get on his level and engage with him in what he wants to engage in can earn his trust and can become part of his world. People who have their own agendas and are not willing to mold them to his needs are not likely to ever be let in. Once he trusts someone, then he will become more receptive to that person's ideas and "progress", in the sense that the therapists use the term, can be made. A person's continued proximity does not guarantee that my son will eventually get used to that person. Unless he or she is willing to meet my son where he is at, they will remain like a piece of furniture, or worse, a source of distress, to him.

Relationships are important for everyone, and especially for a child who is already having problems.
Attachment I exactly what you want. A child is a human being and so is a teacher. They are not interchangable. Also, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush: If the good aide is making real progress now, don’t waste it – use it for all it’s worth for as long as it lasts. You might never get one another like her. Also, you are in a position to object if you think there’s a problem. It’s your kid.
That should be the attitude with ALL children, and especially one who has already been damaged by the system.

An autistic person is like a canary in a coal mine. I really believe that, as society becomes sicker and more fascist, more and more people will be broken by it and will end up with a label that would not have been necessary in a sane society. Classic autism, when severe, is and has always been a problem that we need to deal with. But the problems people are having today shouldn’t be problems at all. Forcing a round peg into a square hole is the cause, not the cure. Starting the abuse earlier and earlier will only make people sicker and sicker. People are not interchangeable. Even “normal” people should not be treated as standardized parts for the machine. That was the major flaw of the industrial-model school from the beginning (the assembly line). It never really worked and it never will.

History: beyond the overt curriculum (teaching the masses a little reading and math), the purpose of the covert curriculum was to tear them away from their ignorant farmer parents and their old-country languages and values, and to prepare the kiddies to be good little factory workers and good little soldiers for the industrial age. Identical, interchangable, with no rough edges.
Inhumane as that model has always been, at least they had the sense to postpone the boot-camp treatment until the third grade. In decades past, Early Childhood (K, 1, 2) was a separate world requiring a different teacher certification. And to most people, the whole idea of preschool was considered unnatural and insane, because it is. Kids need time to grow up, like “a garden of children, each blossoming in his own unique way.”