Post something surreal

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My brother.

x = y
x² = xy
x² – y² = xy – y²
(x – y)(x + y) = y(x – y)
x + y = y
y + y = y
2y = y
2 = 1

A crab doing math.


Sylkat

You open the refrigerator and blue flows out on to the floor, covering your feet, and climbs your legs. You pull out an egg, and crack it open. The clock stops, and the pages of Moby Dick fall out of the egg. The doorbell rings, and the clock starts. The pages burst into flames. You look up, and your mother is looking down at you. She says, “The uniforms will be ready by four.” You stare up, and finally say “But you're dead. Why are you here?” She says “Hear” and the clock stops. You are covered in blue.

You open the door to the washing machine, but it is actually a Stargate, and it pulls you in.


Sylkat

You’re sitting in the kitchen at a round marble table. You have a pile of coins on the table. You are grouping them into stacks. The stacks range in size from about 7.6 centimeters to over 1.3 meters.

A dog walks into the kitchen carrying a wallet. Inside the wallet you find a coupon for dish detergent and a note in your handwriting about picking up some sliced ham. The dog leaves.

Now a person enters. Although you do not recognize the person, you know this is your spouse. The person asks “Did you remember to put that book away?” You confess you did not. The person crouches towards you, walks up to you with their hands raised, and makes clawing gestures in front of your face, and then backs out of room, still crouching forward, shaking their head “no.”

You look at the table and the coins are all in a pile again and the dog is standing in the doorway, laughing.

Quicksilver and friction burns, lizards lounging on the windowsill, like pink turnips dancing in the pale blue moonlight.

YOU are finally one of them. One of them walks into your room. You say,"Hi self. Glad to finally meet ya!"
Now, thats really nuts! But thats how normals think!

I can help the feeling that many of these surreal posts are like excerpts from A Spaniard in the Works, a book by John Lennon, published in 1965. Either he anticipated this thread or he didn't cook his mushrooms.

The teenage brain and the teenager it controls.

Wearing a green linen bib, and white short pants, he looked down. There seemed to be plastic tank resting in his tomato bisque. He put on a mustache and looked up a woman standing on his left. She leaned down and whisper in his ear. With a shocked expressing he slowly looked down into his soup and clicked his tongue several times. His mustache fell into the soup, splashing gallons of tomato bisque over his green linen bib, and white pants. She flung her head back, flailing her arms around, laughing hysterically. Suddenly she stopped, placed her finger up to her mouth, and said "shhhhhhhhhhhhh."

It's raining chocolate frogs! *ribbit*

Salvador Dali and Jackson Pollock go zombie hunting in the moonlight.

Beavis and Butt-Head acting like gentlemen.

Now that is a freaky thought.

A man leans against a 30 story building, and it falls on its side. A blind man on roller skates runs into it, breaking a window with his cane. The building then deflates, and melts into a soft chocolate puddle.

Two Cicadas, in kilts, tap-dancing on the surface of a Creme Brûlée.


Sylkat