I think I made a breakthrough. Please comment

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Ok so heres the deal


I have a been a member of this college outdoor club for a number of years now. They usually host trips every weekend. Now within this group there are alot of members. At the top echelon of the group are these kids who are all aged 18-22 years old. They have more advantages than I do which give them the wherewithall to go out on a trip almost every single weekend to wherever they want. I can only afford to go out on a trip one weekend a month and that is it. Also I'm 33 years old, for got to mention that.

They all live on or very near campus together, they have an interconnected web of friends and associates who they all mutually know. I don't. I live about 30 minutes away from campus in an apartment and I have to work alot more than they do because I am supporting myself. I don't think the top echelon are. They have more shared experiences than I do. I barely have any time to have the same experiences they do.

Tonight was the last time that I want to go to the traditional bar that they go to every Wednesday night after the meeting. Here I was hoping to be able to break into this social group when I really never had a chance in the first place. My instincts based on past experience were just screaming at me saying dude get out of there you really do not have all that much in common with these people.


Because I am just not that insync with these particular people as I have stated above. Thoughts? I'd love to hear them. The problem is that the people I do have more in common with, your everyday college student, I find boring because the vast majority of them, like me don't have the time to have awesome adventurous lives. I am about to graduate in a few weeks and I see the social opportunities that await me if I were to just graduate and move up the ladder at the grocery store........no thanks........

Living life often means moving on from where you are at. It sounds like you are making progress.

In some ways. yes. So I figure the solution is this. Keep going to the meetings and keep going on the trips ust one weekend a month. In the meantime keep working on these other areas of my life so that way I can soialize with the kinds of people I want to socialize with.

Based on the details of your last trip, I'd say you just don't fit with these guys. Maybe try another club?

I too would suggest looking for a new club to invest yourself in. This club doesn't "fit" you well in many areas: The age of the other members is significantly younger than you, the financial resources the other members have available to them allow them to participate at a greater level than you are able to right now, and the other members have other shared experiences that you are not able to be a part of because your life is structured so differently than theirs is. All of these things create bariers that would be difficult for anyone to overcome.

Instead, look for a club that is based in your community and is more likely to draw a more diverse membership. Examples might include joining a book club or some sort of other hobby based club, volunteering to assist a charity, getting involved in politics at the local level (like city council, park and recreation board, or even a neighborhood watch group). There are always church based groups of all sorts to join, even if you are not religious! The Unitarian Church is a wonderful example of an organization for people who want the all the benefits of belonging to a church but are just somewhat unsure about their belief in a God.

Anyway, somewhere out there is a group you will fit right into without having to force things. Use your time to find one rather than wasting it on this group that appears to be such a poor fit for you.

Good Luck!!

I hear ya but I actually like this club because of the fact that it pushes me in new directions. All I need is more availability which right now I don't have but that will change by the end of this year. There are a couple of other clubs I am a part of which are more convenient for me to go to and I participate in them. The problem that I am having is that most people my age I really do not have an interest in getting to know them unless I have something in common with them.

Most people my age are married and having their kids.........Me, I want to have some fun. There are oler people in this club though. Older than me and they get along with the younger kids but only when it comes to the activity at hand. Majority of them are not at the parties they are having. However I have shown up at some college style keggars that they have hosted and I had a pretty good time. Naturally I wasn't doing anything that wild and crazy but.....just enjoying myself and conversing with others and playing games.