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Ahaseurus2000
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08 Apr 2013, 4:28 am

I was recently told by someone that people with ASD have "struggles with self-identity and keeping grounded in themselves around other people, having boundaries, and similar things." which I don't understand. Can someone elaborate on this and what it means? I have ASD myself but I haven't heard of it before.


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goldfish21
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08 Apr 2013, 4:34 am

Hard to know exactly what they meant by that w/o asking them..

struggles w/ self-identity could be describing symptoms of social anxiety/self depreciation
keeping grounded, again, feelings of anxiety around others? not being present due to distracting thoughts?
boundaries.. in terms of psychology, I'd guess this described allowing others to overstep boundaries that ought to exist and be put up due to the AS person not realizing the necessity to do so in order to prevent others from walking all over them & not intuitively knowing how due to a myriad of social interaction impairments.

But to really know what they meant you'd have to ask whoever said that to you what they meant by it.


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KateUher
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08 Apr 2013, 4:36 am

I can't know for sure what that other person means, but I do feel like my life becomes unballanced if there is too much drama. If I meat someone knew whom I really like I might let go of doing things for myself just to spend time with them.


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Highlander852456
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08 Apr 2013, 5:04 am

People project their thinking on to Asperger people then they are confused by that behavior. Natural it is mutual. I am confused by people and they are confused by me. I can learn what the intentions of other people are, but if there is bad communication then I can not understand what they are saying even if it would be most evident to an NT.

A good example would be if someone said "Go and water the plants." I would go and water the plants, but lets just say I start watering a tree, because tree is also green plant I would water a tree too. That person will ask me why are you watering the tree and not the plants. My answere would be, because you told me to?

Same thing in school. No idea what they were talking about most of the time. It took me some time to realise that when teacher says something I am supposed to do it too?
Also did know what I am supposed to memorize or learn.

Constant problems communicating with parents was also a problem.



qawer
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08 Apr 2013, 5:24 am

Ahaseurus2000 wrote:
I was recently told by someone that people with ASD have "struggles with self-identity and keeping grounded in themselves around other people, having boundaries, and similar things." which I don't understand. Can someone elaborate on this and what it means? I have ASD myself but I haven't heard of it before.


It's because autistic people have problems with viewing the world through their own lives. They view the world with too little relation to their own lives.

Autistic thinking: "My life is a part of the world, I'm not in center of the world, the world comes first, my life comes second."

Non-autistic thinking: "The world is a part of my life, I'm in center of the world, my life comes first, the world comes second."

The result of the first view of the world and one's life is that you have a difficult time knowing who you are, because you do not view your own life in relation to the world (at least not enough). You tend to forget your own life - don't prioritize it all the time the way most people do.

Another result is becoming too clingy and not having boundaries around other people. From the autistic's perspective the world comes before their own life which means other people also come before their own life. They end up "attaching" themselves to other people because that's where they view themselves (in the world, not in their own life).



mikassyna
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08 Apr 2013, 6:10 am

qawer wrote:
Autistic thinking: "My life is a part of the world, I'm not in center of the world, the world comes first, my life comes second."


That actually is not a bad thing (in fact it is a very wholistic Asian approach) but it also seems to fly in the face of the egocentric view that ASDers seem to be afflicted with.



qawer
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08 Apr 2013, 6:21 am

mikassyna wrote:
qawer wrote:
Autistic thinking: "My life is a part of the world, I'm not in center of the world, the world comes first, my life comes second."


That actually is not a bad thing (in fact it is a very wholistic Asian approach) but it also seems to fly in the face of the egocentric view that ASDers seem to be afflicted with.


It depends much on how one interprets it.

I wrote it in the sense of "The world comes so much before my own life that I forget to take care of myself and take action in the world because of thinking about the world instead of being in it."

The reason why ASDers seem to be afflicted with an egocentric view is (often?) because of their lack of ability to "break out of their own world". That's what I'm pointing to.