Are people with autism just doomed to be lonely?

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jk1
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10 Apr 2013, 3:29 am

That "I hate you" sounds like a joke. When someone really hates a person, they wouldn't usually even bother to say it to that person. The fact that she was able to say it to you seems to indicate that she is feeling close enough to say such a joke to you.

However, there are times when someone says something not nice to someone else "as a joke", but they are actually seriously meaning it using the disguise of a joke.

If you feel a negative vibe from her in general, she could really have meant it, but said it as if it were a joke, yet still conveying her true intention.

I don't think all autistic people are doomed, but some might be. I feel I'm never meant to connect with anyone in my life. I can't imagine truly connecting with someone else. I got so used to being excluded and alone that I've kind of become immune to loneliness. I have kind of developed resentment towards people in general and probably that doesn't help. The only times when I do feel lonely are when other people (coworkers etc) arrange to get together, but I'm excluded from it. Other times I'm peacefully alone.



ZombieBrideXD
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10 Apr 2013, 3:35 am

yes


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goldfish21
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10 Apr 2013, 4:53 am

No. Period.

I can be social when I want to, hang out with friends/family/others whatever, but I do enjoy my solitude - especially now vs. previously.

The difference is that when I'm alone now, by choice vs. feeling I have to be, is that I don't feel lonely or long for anyone else - I simply enjoy my time alone with my own thoughts, time to go for a run or a hike, time to hang out with the sun or the moon, time to workout, time to meditate, time to read, time to learn, time to try something new, time to go hiking in the mountains, time to just think & philosophize, time to plan or create, or just time to do absolutely nothing & get some rest. In becoming ever more present & not co-dependant on others for happiness, I'm learning to truly appreciate and enjoy solitude to it's fullest potential. It's awesome. Way more awesome than being depressed and feeling lonely can ever be, soooo, I suggest you give it a try.


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CockneyRebel
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10 Apr 2013, 10:55 am

I'm not doomed to a life of loneliness because I have two close friends who understand and accept me as I am. I'm not doomed to anything else, either.


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nessa238
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10 Apr 2013, 5:01 pm

I've gone through phases in my life where I've felt like this but have also tried to make connections with like-minded people, through dating sites or forums mainly. I've had more success with finding people like myself online than in real life.



B19
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11 Apr 2013, 6:46 am

Yes, I do feel that. I mostly enjoy my solitude, (as long as at least one lovely cat keeps me company at home) though it wasn't the way I would have preferred to live for nearly all of the four decades of my adult life. I accept that I will always be alone from now on. Outside of my family and my NA group, people think I am "weird". By their standards, I AM weird. And I've had to accept that's just the way it is. At my NA home group, everyone there has been through some kind of intense pain and suffering and that has made them compassionate towards others, kinder than 'ordinary' human beings. They ask how you are and they really care about your answer, it's not just a social formality. They don't look down on anyone because they are mindful of their own shortcomings too. In the 'normal' world I just don't have the social skills to make lasting connections. I've tried to learn from books, with some improvement though not enough to really connect with NTs. Solitude has some big pluses though, it's not all bad. I'm 65 and this is, I realise, as good as it gets. And socialising in the NT way even for short periods physically exhausts me. I really am on the wrong planet.



CSBurks
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11 Apr 2013, 7:10 am

For me, yes. I will die alone.



WrongWay
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11 Apr 2013, 9:15 am

I agree with the comments that 'I hate you' was most likely not intended seriously. Also if it was then that friend wouldn't want to hang out with you anyway. If it really bothers you maybe talk to them about it (if you think they'll understand that is).


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