Page 1 of 1 [ 12 posts ] 

aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

10 Apr 2013, 7:17 am

What would be the most direct way you would ask someone, how they felt about you? What they like about you? Because saying it like this, opens up a wide spectrum of possible answers, which is confusing for the recipient.

Forget about being shy or thinking it is too forward. I am looking for the most direct way in how you would ask. No boundaries. :D



Greb
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2012
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 964
Location: Under the sea [level]

10 Apr 2013, 7:39 am

"What do you like about me?"

Now seriously, this a unconfortable question to answer. People can feel it too personal. So the best thing could be to make it feel less personal.

For example: "I'm reading a self-help book, in order to become a better person. There's one exercise that ask me to ask to friends about what they like and don't like, and so to make a list with virtues and things that should be improved. Could you help me?".

And then it's not a personal conversation anymore, it's just homework :D


_________________
1 part of Asperger | 1 part of OCD | 2 parts of ADHD / APD / GT-LD / 2e
And finally, another part of secret spices :^)


aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

10 Apr 2013, 7:49 am

Thanks Greb. But my point is, that if someone tells me they like me, how am I meant to know *what* they like about me? "Like" is too vague, isn't it?

But I like your suggestion. :D



Greb
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2012
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 964
Location: Under the sea [level]

10 Apr 2013, 7:57 am

But you want to know what they like about you, or you want to know if that means that they want something more?


_________________
1 part of Asperger | 1 part of OCD | 2 parts of ADHD / APD / GT-LD / 2e
And finally, another part of secret spices :^)


aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

10 Apr 2013, 8:03 am

No, just simply what they like. Exactly what. I guess it sounds pedantic. :oops:



Greb
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2012
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 964
Location: Under the sea [level]

10 Apr 2013, 8:07 am

It doesn't sound pedantic :D

I would suggest... ask about your main virtues and your flaws. People will answer telling you what they like and don't like about you.


_________________
1 part of Asperger | 1 part of OCD | 2 parts of ADHD / APD / GT-LD / 2e
And finally, another part of secret spices :^)


uwmonkdm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Mar 2013
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 764
Location: Canada

10 Apr 2013, 2:10 pm

Well, I had a room mate once who was pretty direct about it..

"How does my butt look in these new yoga pants?"



BlueMax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,285

10 Apr 2013, 2:16 pm

I would start by making YOUR feelings known first, making it safe for them to answer truthfully!


"I think you're a great guy I'd like to know you better / spend more time with you. How about you?"

It'll now be safe for them to say they reciprocate... and if they don't, chances are they don't feel that way. Try not to let any disappointment show in front of him if that happens, because not getting an immediate response doesn't guarantee there's nothing there!


Good luck, Hotstuff. ;) Someone's a lucky fellow!



Geekonychus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,660

10 Apr 2013, 4:24 pm

My philosophy has always been that if a question is too direct for them, they probably aren't a good match for me.........Unfortunately that tends to be the case more often than not. :(



cozysweater
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Aug 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 576

10 Apr 2013, 11:11 pm

BlueMax wrote:
I would start by making YOUR feelings known first, making it safe for them to answer truthfully!


"I think you're a great guy I'd like to know you better / spend more time with you. How about you?"

It'll now be safe for them to say they reciprocate... and if they don't, chances are they don't feel that way. Try not to let any disappointment show in front of him if that happens, because not getting an immediate response doesn't guarantee there's nothing there!


Good luck, Hotstuff. ;) Someone's a lucky fellow!


I agree with this. It's hard and scary but anything worth having is worth working for. Right?



Stargazer43
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,604

10 Apr 2013, 11:44 pm

BlueMax wrote:
I would start by making YOUR feelings known first, making it safe for them to answer truthfully!
!


I agree with this. If you are extremely direct about what you like in someone, they'll be much more apt to tell you also if you ask them directly.



IlovemyAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2012
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,030
Location: Alone

10 Apr 2013, 11:57 pm

[quote=stargazer43"]

BlueMax wrote:
I would start by making YOUR feelings known first, making it safe for them to answer truthfully!
!


I agree with this. If you are extremely direct about what you like in someone, they'll be much more apt to tell you also if you ask them directly.[/quote]

I like this approach. I did this once.
Question Did someone say they like you and you want to know to what extent?