Reparations

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Which government? The current one? Blair? Major? Thatcher? Just how old are you, exactly?

I think I should get reparations from a few people who've pissed me off in the past. I don't really want their money, but it'd be nice if I could punch them in the face a few times. I guess you could consider that reparation. There probably won't be a point in time when the U.S. judiciary system endorses reparations of that sort though.

Reparations - compensation (given or received) for an insult or injury.

My pure-strain Homo Neanderthalensis ancestors were oppressed, abused and driven to extinction.

I deserve reparations from every pure-strain member of the Homo Sapien Sapien species.

Just give me all of Europe (Ireland and the U.K., too) north of the 50th parallel and west of the Ural mountains, and we'll call it even...

So you yourself weren't oppressed and stolen from?

I'm with Fnord on this one. Pure stain Homo Sapiens should get out of Europe, and we'll withdraw our own people from the land that was stolen from the Denisovans and restore it to their descendants, resulting in every racial supremacists dream world in which (mostly) White* people keep to Europe (and North Africa?), Red* people keep to the Americas (and Australia?), Black* people keep to Africa, and Yellow* people keep to Asia. The Middle East will, as always, remain a battleground for everyone to exchange pleasantries and gunfire. Antarctica will remain a neutral zone as well, though unlike the Middle East, probably a peaceful one. There will of course have to be reorganisation within the 4 major powers, with the Celts vacating the British Isles and restoring them to the original inhabitants, which might be a bit hard after they committed genocide against them. What the many individuals who are mixed shall do shall be resolved by an international court of appeals, on the basis of the one-drop rule, though which drop will be up to the individual concerned to decide.

Dammit, I want my 3 million square kilometres. The world can just give me Ceres for reparations against my many ancestors, who were driven to extinction by the immigrants from Africa (I'm European, so I'm bound to have Neanderthal DNA; I might even have Denisovan...?) oppressed by the Celts when they came (mitochondrial DNA shows most people in the UK are descended from the original folk who inhabited the Isles), oppressed by the Anglo-Saxons when they arrived, before that being subjected by the Romans (my Celtic ancestry), invaded and conquered by the Normans (my Anglo-Saxon ancestry), treated terribly by the British (my Native American ancestry), ridiculed by the entire world for being cheese eating surrender monkeys (I'm part French-Canadian), being treated harshly by the people already living in America (my Italian-American side; everyone hazes the new guys in the country, ha, ha, ha)... I want my reparations! Though it's perhaps not feasible to give me land in all corners of the West, I'll take a planet to compensate. It's the least this world can do for me, oppressed for so long...

*I use the colours in jest. The example above is a parody, intended to show the farcical results of taking such proposals to absurd levels.

I have another idea. We could remember ourselves to be homo sapiens and simply try to find a just solution for the nowadays situation? ^^