getting dressed & getting outside

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I find it difficult during days off or holidays to get showered, dressed and outside. Even if I want to go out to walk, get some air or go to the shop, I have a hard time doing it. I think i get distracted each time i decide i'm going in the shower, either by reading or browsing websites or forgetting what i was doing. I do eventually take a shower but it might not be until late afternoon or dinner time. I don't like being stuck in all day, but then part of me does like staying in as it's comforting. When I do want to go outside, I end up spending most of this time alone indoors as everything takes so long, I often have trouble getting something to eat and starve for half the day before i eat

Is this the reason that people on the autism spectrum like to stick to routines?

How do you guys get on with this during holidays / days off?

I too have trouble getting showered and dressed and leaving the house. I usually don't bother doing any of those things. Sometimes I just throw on clothes and go out without showering because if I have to do a bunch of stuff to get ready I'll never leave the house.

I manage to do these things but I often procrastinate.

I'm a little hesitant to admit this...

This thread could be about me.

Is this another indicator my diagnosis should be "yes...on the spectrum"?

Sorry. Not trying to make it THAT much about me.

I will cheerfully admit that this thread could be about me.

I find home and my routines comforting, a haven from onslaught of chaos that hits me when I venture out. I can quite happily spend the day on the couch reading, browsing, and thinking. Even things I wanted to do, planned to do, and really meant to do this time regularly get forgotten or abandoned.

Having routines for the stuff that has to get done does help, because I will do it automatically without getting caught up in something else. If it's not a routine thing, then it gets put on the to-do list. For the next couple of years

I always find it strange that many people have a shower before going out. When you go out you move your body and will most likely sweat. So what's the point of making your body clean when it will soon become sweaty and dirty, unless you have very bad BO and have to clean your body before being near other people?

Well, that's my way of thinking. Maybe you can just decide to go out without having a shower. You can have a shower when you come back home.

I sometimes have the same problem - wanting to go out, but finding staying in too comforting. When I end up deciding to stay in, I sometimes later regret not having been out. I feel I wasted the day. Going out to do something often requires some determination.

I believe it must have something to do with AS/autism routine thing. I'm sure non-autistic people would more easily and just casually decide to go out without thinking too much about it.

People can do that?

I'm just writing from my perspective and I'm assuming that some other autistic/OCD people would be similar to me. What I mean is that I'm inclined to think that non-autistic people can make that decision more easily than I do. When I think about going out, I tend to try to compare the pros and cons of going out and debate in my head whether I really should or not and procrastinate that decision making. I give too much effort and time to deciding/thinking about such things and end up being undecided. So simple decisions can require a lot of effort. I'm aware that this way of thinking looks ridiculous to some people, but I just can't help it.

I have exactly the same issue. I have to process so many variables:
- where am I going
- what should I wear
- what do I need to take with me
- who might I bump into
- is there anything else I need to do while I am out
and about a dozen other things, that the process is exhausting. That's why my routines are great, I can just do them on autopilot.

When someone suggests a sudden outing, or change of plans, it's just too many variables to process too quickly. I need time to break it all down before I can deal with it.

I wasn't sure if this was an Autistic thing. I have to think back a bit. I've wondered if this could be depression. It's so much of a chore to get showered and dressed so I procrastinate. I don't end up getting out the door until two hours after I wake up on average. Sometimes it's more sometimes it's less. I put the plug in the tub and lie down in the shower because I'm just so low energy I need to lie down and I spend at least 30 minutes in the shower. I procrastinate when it comes to getting dressed and I'll often spend 45 minutes to an hour in my pajamas before I finally do. Sometimes I don't end up blow-drying my hair until it's already been dried by the air and it's all sticky and tangled. Then it's a pain to brush it. I keep thinking about it but I don't always get around to doing it. Eating is the easiest thing to do but the thought of having to change the milk bag when I pour myself some cereal also seems like a chore. I still do it when I eat but the thought deters me from eating cereal at first. Depression could be a contributing factor and that's what I thought it was but maybe it's AS.

seaturtle I am no expert but that sounds more like depression to me

I definitely stick to routines because they help me be more productive. Otherwise I'm just kind of drifting around aimlessly, and it's highly annoying because I just beat myself up about being so lazy. Routines help me to get something useful done, and if they're broken I often end up losing the day to that same aimless activity.

But what if you really enjoy that aimless activity?

Gotta have a "why," as it makes it oh so much easier to get up and get moving when you have a reason to.

Even though I didn't get home til late last night, I accepted a morning invite to go out at 9am just so I'd get up and start my day vs sleep in. Well, that and I enjoy hanging w/ my friend and we did go do something we both enjoyed.

If I don't have a reason, I'll try to come up with one from my long to-do list and get up and cross something off of it. Failing that I'll try to get up and have a run or a stretch/workout to start my day.

I try to keep focued on my long term goals (fitness/finances) and it helps motivate me to do the daily things that will add up to achieving them.

I still procrastinate and waste too much time, but bit by bit I'm getting better and better at it.

You hit the nail on the head there about routines. It took me years to get into them but that's exactly how I became able to initiate things on days off - routine. I had a little help in that I was on ADHD meds for a couple of years and managed to get into routines during that time.

But yes throughout my Twenties (before then too but Mum or Dad would make / prompt me) I had the same problem - it would take me most of the day to drag myself to shower, get dressed and leave the house on days off, even though on work days I behaved every bit like what you would call "a morning person". And even when I really wanted or needed something from outside the house, or on the extremely rare occasion I was meeting a friend (I had one fledgling friendship back then), I wouldn't manage it until well into the afternoon.

Depression may have played a role (though that would mean I was depressed from about age 10 to 30, and I didn't feel depressed for most of that time), but the paralysing feeling of being unable to initiate action is something also associated with autism.

PS I am definitely in the "shower later" camp still, unless I really need one or to wash my hair on the rare occasion I am going to meet a friend, then I am now actually able to have a shower before getting dressed in the morning. It took til about age 32 to achieve that though and is still tricky sometimes.

Yep, that all sounds about right. I need to create routines for more things, including my "days off."

Regarding showering before going out: unless you haven't in a few days, and it's really noticeable--do it when you get home.