I seem to have lost contact with someone I met on OKCupid.

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I met someone on OKCupid in October and I eventually got her e-mail address. Anyway, long story short, it eventually turned out that she wasn't able to date anyone at the time, because she there was too much going on in her life to start a new relationship but we nonetheless agreed to continue being in contact with each as friends. The thing is, she has now stopped responding to my e-mails and the last time I had contact with her, she said that she's been having problems accessing her own e-mails be causing her gmail account was continuously being hacked into. She said that she was thinking of setting up a new e-mail because of it, if she's switched then I can no longer contact her, not even through OKCupid because she disabled her account due to the fact that she doesn't want a relationship with anyone at the moment. I still wanted to write to her though, even as on-line friends and I even suggested a video chat the last time I had contact with her and she offered do it via mobile phone.

So, what now?

Judging by the number of views and lack of replies, I'm guessing that no one has any advice for me?

Just for the record, I am in messaging someone else on OKCupid, so this is not for dating purposes. I just hate it when I lose contact with people.

I don't think anyone has responded because it they did it would be giving advice you might not want to hear. That would be; move on. I think she has found someone.

You're messaging again on OKC which is great. Is this for friendship also?

I think you misunderstand. I've been messaging on OKCupid for a while, since she said I could. The messaging on OKCupid is to find someone to date but my continued contact with her was for on-line friendship. I seem to lose contact with almost everyone that I would rather remain in contact with, not just on-line. I even lost contact with a group of friends that I studied at university with and haven't heard from them in years. The only friends I have at the moment are my current work colleagues. I just wanted someone to write to.

Jono, my buddy*, if she cares then she would find means to contact you, she has your email and knows your okc profile.

*(even tho your country always has a popular support for Israel to bomb the s**t out of my country ...whatever).

http://jonmillward.com/blog/wp-content/ ... esults.jpg

My advice: lose weight, go on diet, I remember you were overweight.

Overweight guys have the worst chances.

It's funny how often you see women complaining "Men don't like fat women! they're shallow" - yea right, as if women in general are better on that.

Also do you work now or still working on your phd?

I'm still working on my PhD because I only officially registered for it last year, even though I've unofficially been doing it for longer. By the way, I'm not overweight because I've lost at least 14 kilograms since I've been living in a university residence and I've been going to gym. Perhaps I should put a new photograph up on OKCupid? The one that's on there is from 2011, 2 years ago.

Anyway, thanks Boo.

Of course you should put the new photos, otherwise you'll always be seen as overweight regardless how you really look like now.

Yes, God yes! Put the new photo up, man!
How successful you are or how great you look now will be for nothing if all you show are photos of yourself before you made that transition.

Good luck with new encounters, and new adventures.

I've just accepted her invitation onto Facebook. It looks like she's got a boyfriend, and pregnant apparently. Wow, so it seems that she's been busy since I was last in contact with her in February. I'll still remain friends with her though because I did like chatting to her and I don't think she minds either.

^
It's time to stop dwelling over this.

Yes sure, I'll still be contact with her though, since we've both agreed to be friends, which what I've been saying from the start of this thread. I'm not interested in any relationship with her, and haven't been for some time.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to find dates, or even better, a lasting relationship, (without bloody wasting my time with people who just tend to disappear or flake out on me on the first date), then we'll all set, and I won't need to dwell over finding anyone at all. In case you're wondering, no I'm not talking about her, I'm talking in general. I've been on OKCupid for about 2 years now, since I broke up with my gf for 6 month who I met on there, and the only time I even got close to getting another date with someone on there was when in July when a woman flaked out on me in the last minute.

I stand corrected. That pregnancy thing was just humour on her Facebook page, (a video of her boyfriend cooking and putting a bun in the oven, get it?). She's not actually pregnant. She actually laughed when I asked her about it on twitter.

^She still has a bf though.

Let's play an analysis game, check her boyfriend's page, find out how he is compared to you, what does he have that you don't have? This might help you to find out what you're really lacking (I know what they are but I won't say it now).

You're going to tell me something like a job or a car or something like that aren't you? Anyway, it doesn't matter, he's not her boyfriend because he has something that I don't, he's her boyfriend both because we agreed back in February that we could both look for other people and secondly because she had no reason to believe that I would be contact with her again (because despite what you may think, she has only been in a relationship with him for the last 2 months, long after I lost contact with her, she did not actually drop me as a potential relationship in order to go to him, she thought that she lost contact with me). She told me back in February that she wouldn't be disappointed if I had found someone else (which as it happens, I still haven't) but we remained friends anyway, before we lost contact that is. By the way, I have absolutely no interest in interfering with their relationship, so arguing about why chose him and not me is kind of pointless.

And to answer your question, he's very similar to me personality/interest-wise, even with a similar career (I need to check but I think he may be an engineer, I'm a a physicist). The main difference is that he's more able-bodied than me and is NT.

Not being funny, but why do you need to tell us all of this?
What compelled you to make this thread, defy opinions about your compatibility with this person or the practicality of your friendship?

Maybe you believe what you are saying to us, because it is what you have told yourself to be true...but unfortunately I don't believe you, and neither does Boo or a couple of others.
I think you should explore why this friendship means anything to you, and how others might see it. This picture comes to mind:



You're waiting for something to come of this because she's your only female contact. You might be in denial but this is how I see it.
My advice: give this up and get back to OKC. You were able to interest 1 girl, that's already a lot more than others have been able to get on WP.
You did it once so I'm sure you can do it again