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Anomiel
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20 Apr 2013, 4:59 pm

daydreamer84 wrote:
MathGirl wrote:
I wouldn't say conforming as I've met a few Aspies who are all into conforming, I think as a result of being excluded a lot. They're also on the extroverted side, but they're all socially awkward anyway.

So I would say "social awkwardness" is the one trait that all Aspies have.

naturalplastic wrote:
Interesting question- if we do or dont indeed share one or more traits.

I would say aspies find socializing to be something that takes an expenditure of energy, rather than something that they get energized from. The later is what I imagine to be the case for Nt's.

Social situations my be fun or rewarding in the end but they still take an investment of energy.
I think you've just defined "introvert". Not all Aspies are introverted.


Yeah...since social awkwardness is a catch-all for social problems that's one thing you could say. All aspies have social problems of one kind or another. They manifest themselves in different ways but they're always there. It's part of the criteria for the disorder.

Not conforming? No way.......some aspies try SO hard to imitate others around them and fit in. They're not always successful at it but some definitely try. I was one of them at a certain point in my life. I found the effort too exhausting to continue. I know some aspies and some people in general , some NT's, for that matter just like the idea of being unique and different and not following the herd. Sorry guys, it isn't always the case.


But not being able to conform is still along those lines.



Anomiel
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20 Apr 2013, 5:01 pm

Anyway my guess would have been that we're all introverts, as I can't imagine anyone ever getting energy from socializing, but as some apparently say they met some that are maybe that isn't so for everyone.



chlov
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20 Apr 2013, 5:13 pm

Anomiel wrote:
Anyway my guess would have been that we're all introverts

Introversion is a personality trait, autism is not.
They're different things.
I have AS and I'm an introvert.
My brother has severe autism and he's an extrovert.



Anomiel
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20 Apr 2013, 6:03 pm

chlov wrote:
Anomiel wrote:
Anyway my guess would have been that we're all introverts

Introversion is a personality trait, autism is not.
They're different things.
I have AS and I'm an introvert.
My brother has severe autism and he's an extrovert.


Yes? You don't think I know that? :lol: That conversation has already been had, I just said if I hadn't read it I would still guess maybe we were.



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20 Apr 2013, 6:25 pm

I am now a conformist, but still believe myself to be a individual. When I was in grade school, I wore bright pants under my dark school uniform (against regulation). Once, a few months ago, a neighbor who went to my grade school told me that he always admired my "strength to go against the grain." When I got older, I had rainbow hair. I always had my own fashion style. Also, I always listened to music other people my age weren't into. I always had my own tastes in things.

The quality I have the most is being a loner,. which I was since childhood. People ask me if I want to have friends. I say I don't know. How could somebody know until they experienced it? I do wish I had people to hang out with, but I don't want people crush what I want to do. Sometimes that best way to do something is to do it all yourself -- which then wonders into my perfectionism, which I get from my dad.


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daydreamer84
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20 Apr 2013, 7:26 pm

Anomiel wrote:
But not being able to conform is still along those lines.


Maybe not being ABLE to conform perfectly because of social problems but not WANTING to conform is not a universal AS trait. Many AS people will sacrifice their individuality to try to be more like others and fit it. We may not be great at it but a lot of us try.



Anomiel
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20 Apr 2013, 7:40 pm

daydreamer84 wrote:
Anomiel wrote:
But not being able to conform is still along those lines.


Maybe not being ABLE to conform perfectly because of social problems but not WANTING to conform is not a universal AS trait. Many AS people will sacrifice their individuality to try to be more like others and fit it. We may not be great at it but a lot of us try.


I never said that anyway, I was defending subcultures earlier. Subcultures are just as valid as mainstream culture (and often more fun) and shouldn't be insulted, though I am not part of one. And also defending non-conformists.
I still think not being able to fit in would make one a non-conformist under a very loose definition. So instead of using that word "not fitting in, by choice or otherwise" might be a better description. Though most adults that have a choice will choose a social group were they do fit in, no matter how small it is, so it's just a matter of perceptions. Something many psychologists/[insert authorities] don't get when they talk about autism and social difficulties.



daydreamer84
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20 Apr 2013, 7:59 pm

^^^
I agree that sub-cultures are just as valid as mainstream culture. I'm just saying that some people with AS do try to imitate others and be like others in a particular group(either mainstream or not) whether it goes against their own nature or not in order to be accepted socially.



TomGunsmoke
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20 Apr 2013, 9:56 pm

Interesting question (and Hi... new to WrongPlanet dot net - not new to this wrong planet).

I thought there were several common Aspie traits, though exhibited in varying degrees (but as a recently diagnosed Aspie am interested to know if true). Here are the traits I understood to be common (all line up for me anyway):

1. Dependent on routine (After being diagnosed this was a big Aha for me... notice that if my current routine gets derailed, it causes anxiety for me. Ex: getting home after work, I let my dogs out, feed them and the cats, sit down at the computer to chill out, smoke a cig, change clothes. IF something derails that, like having to get back in the car to get milk, Ojida).

2. Special interests (whatever the current obsession(s) down to the gnats ass detail, gather info and process, highly focused)

3. Clinical ego centricity (though I think this has to do with social clues part, and perhaps empathy challenges, I could see how it would be seen as ego centricity. I have noticed though, since being diagnosed, that in conversation and writing it often seems to come back to me, e.g., here's what I think, I don't see it that way, etc.)

3a. Impaired ability to read social clues (stuff that seems like secret code, not direct, as if I'm supposed to know that the eye blink meant that what I'd just said upset that person, even if it what was said was true).

3b. Empathy challenges (Until diagnosed I wasn't even sure what empathy was, confused it with compassion which I have loads of. Connected the 3's because I'm supposing they are part of the same trait, systemic, no real way to change an NT perception of these without becoming what appears to be semi-functional at each. Seems like they would play off each other, e.g., if I can't read social clues how can I be seen as having empathy? if I'm not empathic, how am I not ego-centric? IF I have to ask directly because I didn't understand and it is socially "unacceptable" then I can't read the clue... LOL)


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