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gotwake
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15 Apr 2013, 9:10 pm

Okay. so, I am somebody who doesn't actively seek relationships. I have gotten much better at forcing myself to be interested in social situations in order to make friends. But I by and large, do not get interested in most women I am typically around, because I find them to be very immature. Don't get me wrong, I find almost everyone that I come into contact with around my age is pretty immature, but I don't have a problem hanging out with them anymore. I just haven't met any women which I would be interested in dating.

Well, recently I have started going on dates with this woman. It's been awesome. But, the only thing is she's 42. I am 24. Not that looks are everything, she is very pretty and does not look 42; I was pretty surprised when I found out. But apparently, the age difference is a big deal. I guess people I know have gossiped a little about it. I don't feel like its creepy. I actually really like her and have been having a lot of fun with her.

So, any thoughts? Is it weird? Bad idea? Good idea? Has anyone been in a similar situation? How would one tell their parents they are dating somebody that is five years younger than them?



joku_muko
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15 Apr 2013, 9:50 pm

If you and her are happy that's all that matters.



auntblabby
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15 Apr 2013, 10:03 pm

the OP is a damned lucky man, AFAIC.



AspieWolf
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15 Apr 2013, 10:25 pm

I see no problem here. If you are both happy with each other, then that's all that matters. Other perple's opinions don't matter.


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cathylynn
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15 Apr 2013, 10:33 pm

in any relationship, it's good to wait until you've had a chance to observe the other person in a variety of situations over a period of six months before you make a commitment like living together or getting engaged. a person who tries to rush you, who's over-jealous, or constantly berates your family is likely to turn out to be physically abusive. if you are following that guideline, I say enjoy the relationship.



Valkyrie2012
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16 Apr 2013, 1:26 am

All I will say is that my boyfriend of four years (and I love him like no one else ever) is 22 years older than me. If he is ok with my age and I am ok with his.. who cares what anyone else in the world may think? You and your girlfriends happiness is what matters the most.



redrobin62
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16 Apr 2013, 3:53 am

Not just for the movies anymore!

Image



auntblabby
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16 Apr 2013, 3:56 am

wow :) bud cort was really beautiful back in the day, and i am sure ruth gordon was a dish and a half back in her day as well. i've long had a thing for older women.



bruinsy33
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16 Apr 2013, 5:02 pm

gotwake wrote:
Okay. so, I am somebody who doesn't actively seek relationships. I have gotten much better at forcing myself to be interested in social situations in order to make friends. But I by and large, do not get interested in most women I am typically around, because I find them to be very immature. Don't get me wrong, I find almost everyone that I come into contact with around my age is pretty immature, but I don't have a problem hanging out with them anymore. I just haven't met any women which I would be interested in dating.

Well, recently I have started going on dates with this woman. It's been awesome. But, the only thing is she's 42. I am 24. Not that looks are everything, she is very pretty and does not look 42; I was pretty surprised when I found out. But apparently, the age difference is a big deal. I guess people I know have gossiped a little about it. I don't feel like its creepy. I actually really like her and have been having a lot of fun with her.

So, any thoughts? Is it weird? Bad idea? Good idea? Has anyone been in a similar situation? How would one tell their parents they are dating somebody that is five years younger than them?
If you guys are hanging out and having fun,what''s the problem?



Tyri0n
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16 Apr 2013, 6:40 pm

Well, aren't most aspies emotionally immature for their age? I know I am. It seems like that could be a problem.



OliveOilMom
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16 Apr 2013, 9:11 pm

My best friend is a cougar. She dates boys in their early 20s and even 18 or 19 before. 30 is too old for her, and she's my age. This is gross to me because I have kids the same age as the boys she dates. I just can't even bring myself to see boys that age in a sexual or romantic way. Not in real life anyway, if its an actor on tv or something then I can certainly drool and such but if I were to be confronted with him face to face, I would probably feel the same way I do about everyday guys. To me, anyone under 35 is out of the question.

There's nothing wrong with what the OP is doing though. It's not all that uncommon. I'm about the only girl my age that I know of who feels the way I do though. Go for it!


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Looneytunes
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17 Apr 2013, 7:34 am

'm not quite sure what the problem is here.
If she is 42 and you are 24 - emotionally - you are probably looking for a mother figure, someone to take care of you.
She is probably looking for her youth - someone to hang out with and act like a kid again.

When I was 29 my GF was just 18.
It presented all kinds of conflicts - mostly that she was immature and when we broke up, it was not pretty.
We have a daughter together and I have not any interactions with my daughter for 12 years except recently when I tried to reunite with her and she took me to court - a couple of months ago to get me to stop coming around - she is now 18 and her head is polluted by all the garbage her mother said about me for the last 12 years..

You need to look at both sides of the picture - how many kids does this woman have and how old are they?
If she has no kids - and is not married and has never been married, a red flag goes up and the question becomes WHY!
I would be cautious because it looks like a midlife crisis to me and when she changes her mind - they always do - you will be left all by yourself wondering why things did not work out.

Life is a lot like a calendar.
Just think of the 12 months as being 7 year segments of your life.
The first 7 - you are dependent upon your parents to provide for you.
The second 7 - you are a little more independent - but you still need your parents to provide the basic necessities of life for you.
The third 7 - you get a drivers license, become a little more independent, graduate from school. go to school or get a job and start living life.
The fourth 7 years - is usually when you meet someone, fall in love, have children, start a family, establish yourself in the world.
The fifth 7 - you raise your children, go to work every day, try to keep your head above water.
The sixth 7 years - you struggle with money, children going to college and house payments and relationships. This is where many marriages fails.
The seventh - 7 years - you manage to put your life back together, pay off most everything that you own, get your kids out of the house, maybe down size to a smaller house and start planning for retirement. 49 years old.
The eighth - 7 years - your kids starts to have kids, you now have grandchildren, the money cycle starts all over and if you are lucky - none of them fails in their relationships and asks to move back home.
The ninth - if you planned for it, you can retire and then you can sit around the house and wonder who is this woman I married.
You realize that it is too late to go out and look for another one - so you accept the fact that you are stuck with each other and you try to make the best of it.

You pick up a hobby, do the chores around the house you neglected all these years, go on vacations, go to visit the kids blow some money on gambling.

Before you know it, you are 80 years old and too old to go out of the house and do much of anything and all you have left to do is to pray to god that he will take you while you sleep so you don't have to suffer somewhere in a old folks home.

A quote from the movie - Grumpy Old Men - when Burgess Meredith said - you wake up one morning and you realize that I'm not 81 anymore!



gotwake
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17 Apr 2013, 11:39 am

I don't consider myself emotionally immature. I've always thought of myself as a little more mature than most people my age, just not very socially commanding. She has a twelve year old, and has been married before. I just feel like we get along well and everything.



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17 Apr 2013, 11:51 am

Tyri0n wrote:
Well, aren't most aspies emotionally immature for their age? I know I am. It seems like that could be a problem.


What do you define as emotionally immature? and why do you feel this way about yourself?



Homer_Bob
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17 Apr 2013, 11:52 am

As long as you both are comfortable with it, I'd see no problem. We all know younger women can get away with dating older men. Younger guys should have the same set standards. I've liked some older girls in my time so I know very well about this subject. I just haven't found anyone who's been on board with my proposal.


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17 Apr 2013, 8:27 pm

redrobin62 wrote:
Not just for the movies anymore!


No-one has heard of Ben Franklin?

http://www.swarthmore.edu/SocSci/bdorse ... 1-fra.html