Do girls find it extra hot when big guys bully small guys?

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Alliekit
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05 Jun 2016, 5:00 am

marshall wrote:
CryingTears15 wrote:
For me, when I see a guy bullying someone, that's an immediate "nevermind".

However, guys who pick on other people are often the more confident types. If a man is confident, I assume he has a reason to be, and that makes him much more attractive. Confidence is correlated with bullying, in my experience, and I would guess it's the confidence these girls are attracted to, not the bullying.

I would assume this kind of attraction is superficial though, similar to looks. A guy who is really stuck up might cause sexual arousal because of the "confidence" factor, but would it really make a woman want to "love" him? A guy so in love with himself isn't likely to give any love back. These narcissistic/sociopath bully guys are robots. They rarely have feelings themselves.


There is a massive difference between confidence and being stuck up. I don't think that all guys woth confidence are bullies.

Confidence to be yourself and do things is amazingly sexy and is what women can fall in love with about a person. Stuck up jerks are overconfident and annoying, most will get initial attraction from a women and, in most cases, not much more.



marshall
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05 Jun 2016, 5:18 pm

Alliekit wrote:
marshall wrote:
CryingTears15 wrote:
For me, when I see a guy bullying someone, that's an immediate "nevermind".

However, guys who pick on other people are often the more confident types. If a man is confident, I assume he has a reason to be, and that makes him much more attractive. Confidence is correlated with bullying, in my experience, and I would guess it's the confidence these girls are attracted to, not the bullying.

I would assume this kind of attraction is superficial though, similar to looks. A guy who is really stuck up might cause sexual arousal because of the "confidence" factor, but would it really make a woman want to "love" him? A guy so in love with himself isn't likely to give any love back. These narcissistic/sociopath bully guys are robots. They rarely have feelings themselves.


There is a massive difference between confidence and being stuck up. I don't think that all guys woth confidence are bullies.

Confidence to be yourself and do things is amazingly sexy and is what women can fall in love with about a person. Stuck up jerks are overconfident and annoying, most will get initial attraction from a women and, in most cases, not much more.

In terms of overall character, I would rate being a good person above confidence. Someone with confidence who is an as*hole isn't better than someone without confidence who is caring. It seems like confidence trumps overall character when it comes to sexual attraction though. Good looks tend to trump overall character as well (for both sexes), unfortunately. At least when it comes to sexual attraction that is. This is why I view it as a shallow trait in the grand scheme of things (similar to looks).

Also, it seems confidence is something that can be gained, while having a decent character is more innate. People who are born assholes tend to stay that way. People who are innately self-centered don't tend to change, unfortunately. People who lack confidence can gain confidence if they have more success and become better at things that make them happy. People lose confidence when they are constantly measured by their shortcomings instead of their strengths.



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09 Jun 2016, 2:46 pm

Alliekit wrote:
marshall wrote:
CryingTears15 wrote:
For me, when I see a guy bullying someone, that's an immediate "nevermind".

However, guys who pick on other people are often the more confident types. If a man is confident, I assume he has a reason to be, and that makes him much more attractive. Confidence is correlated with bullying, in my experience, and I would guess it's the confidence these girls are attracted to, not the bullying.

I would assume this kind of attraction is superficial though, similar to looks. A guy who is really stuck up might cause sexual arousal because of the "confidence" factor, but would it really make a woman want to "love" him? A guy so in love with himself isn't likely to give any love back. These narcissistic/sociopath bully guys are robots. They rarely have feelings themselves.


There is a massive difference between confidence and being stuck up. I don't think that all guys woth confidence are bullies.

Confidence to be yourself and do things is amazingly sexy and is what women can fall in love with about a person. Stuck up jerks are overconfident and annoying, most will get initial attraction from a women and, in most cases, not much more.


I agree, I think that many guys who are confident aren't bullies, but many are, and I think that girls might see that confidence and like it initially.

Some girls are actually attracted to a-holes, don't ask me why, but I think that it's just them as a minority. Maybe enough that such guys always have a girl, but most girls don't like that.



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Jun 2016, 3:53 pm

I don't think bully's victims are seen as sexy either.

Also there's a strong height/size correlation in bullying among boys: Big boys often bully small boys.

I don't ever recall once a boy bullying another boy of the same size, there's always this size gap.

and we all know which of the two girls find generally sexier (tall vs small).



kraftiekortie
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09 Jun 2016, 4:01 pm

I've been bullied by kids who were the same height as me.



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09 Jun 2016, 4:29 pm

Ratae wrote:
. . .

So, ladies, do you like this kind of macho, dominant behaviour in males? I mean, women are attracted to dominance right? And many ladies love the stronger-built looking chaps that can protect them from other males. So why SHOULD they not be attracted to male bullies that have a physical authority over smaller, weaker men.? I mean that's the order of things in animal kingdom - the larger males dominate and bully the smaller males, so why shouldn't it be that way with humans?


I find it repulsive. I find most forms of hand-to-hand physical violence (as opposed to fighting with weapons) repulsive, including sports like boxing, wrestling and fisticuffs. I can't enjoy watching it and will sometimes turn off a favorite program like Criminal Minds if it's about brawling or boxing instead of facing off an unsub with a knife at gunpoint.

That said, I'm on the spectrum myself and have been a bully-magnet. I've been bullied, and I don't like to see bullying. I'm ISFJ on the Myers-Briggs chart, and that personality type is known to be disturbed by seeing the strong take advantage of the weak.

So I can't speak for neurotypical women, or for other personality types. I'm sure there are women who get off on seeing males they like pummel weaker males. But I do not understand such attraction, and to me this kind of behavior seems sociopathic more than anything else.


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314pe
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10 Jun 2016, 4:01 am

LyraLuthTinu wrote:
So I can't speak for neurotypical women, or for other personality types. I'm sure there are women who get off on seeing males they like pummel weaker males. But I do not understand such attraction, and to me this kind of behavior seems sociopathic more than anything else.

So in a hypothetical situation if you saw one guy bully another one, you would pick a bullied guy over a bully, right?



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10 Jun 2016, 4:20 am

i once had a dream which i awoke from and continued to develop as a possible story until i lost interest in it.
it went like this.
i was stranded on a remote island with 10 very athletic and dominant men and 10 very magazine quality looking girls.
the men saw me as a wimp and pushed me around and ate the food i was intelligent enough to acquire, and the women saw me as an ineffectual person who did not have the gusto to successfully stand up for myself against the men who just pushed me out of the way and grabbed what i had made and took it for themselves (like my living quarters and my fish farm and my garden).
i just wanted to live on my own, but the island was small and i was forced to interact by the tyranny of proximity with them.
i was not prepared to tolerate such an impediment to my survival, and so one by one, over a period of weeks, the men started to disappear.

woman x: where's blake?
woman y: yeah he's been gone for too long now! i hope he hasn't had an accident.
me: death by misadventure is a possibility i would consider likely in cases like this.
woman x: what do you mean by that?!
me: well he was certainly a daring man, and sometimes, people like that fail to take into account the finer details of their environment and possible results of their actions.
woman y: i don't trust you you slimey little f*ck! have you done something to him?
me: how could i do that? me?
woman y: yes you're right. you couldn't have done anything.
me: i'm glad you see it that way.

the next week, another man went missing and i was similarly astonished and puzzled and suggested that all the bravest people in history died young.


blah blah...
eventually i was the only male left on the island, and all the women knew that it must be the case that i arranged the other men's demise, and most of those women hated me for what they thought i had done.

but they were too terrified to attempt to dispose of me, and one by one, they started to go missing.

i was left with one girl who was psychiatrically disturbed, and who was impressed in a sick way with my character, and we lived happily ever after.



LyraLuthTinu
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11 Jun 2016, 4:09 pm

314pe wrote:
LyraLuthTinu wrote:
So I can't speak for neurotypical women, or for other personality types. I'm sure there are women who get off on seeing males they like pummel weaker males. But I do not understand such attraction, and to me this kind of behavior seems sociopathic more than anything else.

So in a hypothetical situation if you saw one guy bully another one, you would pick a bullied guy over a bully, right?


Hard to say. I'm not great with hypothetical situations, and I am no where near looking for a guy. When I have gotten into relationships it was always because a persistent guy kept directly requesting my company, not because I set my sights on a guy and set out to garner his attention.

So I've never "picked a guy," bully or not. Guys pick me.

That said the first guy could have been called a bully himself, though he always seemed to have "social justice" rationalizations for his bullying. A bullyer of bullies, as it were.

NThubby with whom I am now, I never saw him in any physical altercation, but to hear him talk he was more than capable of holding his own. Apparently when he was a young man he would deliberately pick fights in bars if he was a little drunk, when he was a kid he would beat up other kids because he was bullied for having what is usually considered a girl's name, he got beat up himself a few times but became capable of defending himself. I think if I'd ever seen any of this I'd likely have been less attracted to him, regardless of which end he came off of the fight--trouncer or trounced.

The first guy I went with, I never saw him fighting with anyone either. I only heard his stories. Probably guys don't much like to tell stories of when they got the worst of a physical fight, amiright?

Anyway my basic point is I've never picked a guy myself, so I don't know which I'd be more likely to pick, a bully or a bullied guy. I don't think I'd deliberately pick a guy I'd seen bullying others, though. I might want to comfort a bully victim, but I don't know if that would become a lasting relationship. I'd more likely pick a guy I'd never seen involved in a physical fight. Because as I said from the start, I don't like physical hand-to-hand violence. It makes me want to get away, far away.


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CockneyRebel
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12 Jun 2016, 8:28 am

I find that to be a huge turnoff. I don't find showing off of any kind to be a big turn on. I'm also big and strong enough to protect myself against predators.


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Blah123
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15 Jun 2016, 2:21 am

This discussion doesnt have any real value or point since most of females here will deny it since it isnt socially acceptable. It would be something similar if you asked people would they buy an ice cream for themselves or give few euros to homeless person sitting on the street who was hungry for days. I can assure you answers would differ from actions in that situation a big time.

We all subconsciously know the answer assuming the "bully" you are talking about isnt some kind of brutal ape type but a guy that hurts and mocks people in the witty way most of the time since its seen as confident,funny and so on. Ofcourse not all girls like them, particularly the ones that was being bullied themselves but again they are divided even further into ones that developed various fetishes from it and so on.



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07 Aug 2019, 1:11 am

Beware. If the man is a bully you don't want him in your life because sooner or later he will bully you and it could be dangerous; putting you in the hospital or even the morgue. Even if he does not, he will probably have a personality disorder which will impel him to break your spirit if you have to live with him.
Powerful people who compete their way up any pecking order must never be trusted, for our own good they must be shunned like registered sex offenders before giving them a chance to destroy your right to be yourself thereupon destroying everything you treasure in your life. Do not be taken in by their charm. Consider watching the Joseph Losey movie of Mozart's Don Giovanni and see how selfish and dangerous they are.



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07 Aug 2019, 1:16 am

No. Grow up. Women in their 30s and 40s aren't into that. Teenagers are and they also pick their mates based on it too. By the time someone is 40 if they are reasonably intelligent then even if they're NT they have outgrown that phase of caring more about being cool than being nice or being themselves.



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07 Aug 2019, 3:50 am

That is exactly how the world works. It is Social Darwinism, survival of the fittest. The strongest males get what they want and the weak males go home alone.



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07 Aug 2019, 4:12 am

Rainbow_Belle wrote:
That is exactly how the world works. It is Social Darwinism, survival of the fittest. The strongest males get what they want and the weak males go home alone.

How about a bullying pattern in my brother's class, where a small, skinny, shrewd guy subdued all the big beefcakes? Even in the "social darvinist" setting, brains can win with muscle.

Not to mention that social darvinist model is way oversimplifying when ignoring importance of cooperation.

I find bullying deeply wrong and I don't get why English-speaking culture seems to accept it to such an extent. Mine doesn't.


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