What goes through your brain during social interaction/

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Marky9
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25 Apr 2013, 6:33 am

One-on-One: Acknowledge what the other person says, either by nodding or mirroring their facial expression. If I respond by sharing my own experience, limit it to one or two sentences.

Small groups: By the time I process what has been said and then mentally compose my response, the conversation has moved way past me. :-)



CyborgUprising
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25 Apr 2013, 2:18 pm

I think of ways in which I can dodge or ditch a conversation most rikki-tik. Sometimes I'm duty-bound to endure conversation (it's not like you can tell a General to "screw off" or that you "have something more important to do").



Nambo
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25 Apr 2013, 2:41 pm

"With all this noise in here I cannot understand a word they are saying and am fed up with keep asking them to repeat themselves and still not having a clue what they are on about, so I will just pretend to be interested and nod occasionally and hope they haven't asked a question that requires an answer".



neilson_wheels
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25 Apr 2013, 5:24 pm

Okay concentrate.
This place is way too busy, standing in the middle of a motorway would be more fun.
Said the greetings, what next?
Could be interesting, but I can't hear a thing.
Okay, look in the eyes just quickly, trying to lip read again.
Now she thinks I'm looking down her top.
Where's the bar?



megocode3
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25 Apr 2013, 6:03 pm

My social interactions aren't all that different than everyone else's here. Usually they go one of two different ways:

"I have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to talk about"
"This silence is getting really awkward"
"Better try to say something quick"
"Can't think of anything"
"Better make an excuse to get out of here before they think I'm weird"

Or:

"I love educating people on [insert special interest]"
"Dang it, this stuff is exciting. Why do they keep changing the subject?"
"I'll just keep talking about [insert special interest] anyway"
"Why are they leaving? Did I say something wrong?"



MrStewart
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25 Apr 2013, 6:27 pm

This has changed as I have grown older. Used to have the list of, what do i do, what should i say, am i supposed to say something, etc. In recent years it's more, how do i get away from this situation, how do i indicate to person that i don't want to talk anymore without causing negative reaction, why do i have to talk to people to do things, why can't i do this over the internet.

i wish that things i order online were delivered to me by more automated process. i invariably have to deal with courier service people. i want a pneumatic tube to my house.



animalcrackers
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25 Apr 2013, 8:36 pm

One thing is there's a lot of "instant replay" of bits and pieces of sensory information from the other person as I try to catch up.

Otherwise I think it depends on the situation.


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whirlingmind
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25 Apr 2013, 10:46 pm

movik wrote:
i've found this youtube video where a young boy is describing a social interaction as being on stage without knowing your lines. Do you feel the same way?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3SKxzgkuTI


I am either busy concentrating on the detail of information of what they are saying, so that I can respond, or if they are making small talk I am feeling really awkward and saying what I think I'm supposed to say, and thinking how quickly I can get away. If I get an odd or unexpected reaction I pretty much lose all rational thought and feel confused and panicky. Either way, I'm too busy doing those things to think of anything else.

If I find what they are saying boring or stupid, I will start looking at the details of them or thinking random things in my own head that have nothing to do with who is there or where I am.


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matt
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25 Apr 2013, 11:25 pm

It depends on the social interaction.

If it's a discussion with someone I know, usually I'm just thinking about the subject we're discussing, which is usually one of only a very few subjects, and I will just give them every detail about the subject, way more than they ever thought they would get, and then, "Well, oh, I've screwed up and done that again, but I'm still going to finish what I'm saying." And then repeat, and then repeat.

If they're asking me to meet in an unfamiliar situation or do something unfamiliar, I'm usually thinking "Oh no, they're going to ask me to <insert place I don't want to be or do something I don't want to do>." And I try to find a way to leave.

If I accidentally meet someone in an unfamiliar situation, I typically spend a long long time trying to determine who they are and panicking, thinking that before I can identify them they are going to realize that I don't know who they are. There are a lot of instances where I misidentify someone, and I'm terrified that they're going to talk to me, but then I realize that they're not who I thought they were. If I identify someone I think I know and I'm in public, I will try to act like I'm unaware of them and will leave. I am very good at doing that.

If a stranger tries to talk to me, it's like a predator-prey situation. I want the situation to be over as quickly as possible. I want to run away.

In situations in which I've scripted the interaction, if I can maintain the script, I do everything like it was a checklist. In situations like job interviews, where there is a pattern of events, that's not incredibly difficult. In situations like when I have to go somewhere to talk to people or when I have to do something unfamiliar, that is much more difficult, and I tend to stop functioning.



TonyHoyle
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26 Apr 2013, 2:16 pm

nessa238 wrote:
Typical thoughts when Interacting with staff in shops, banks etc:-

"I can tell they see me as weird and want this interaction to end quickly; I do as well,
so I can get away from a devaluing interaction"

"I'm evidently not 'normal' enough for them but then they're a generic NT so that's nothing new!"

"they were a lot friendlier toward the person they were talking to before me and I just bet they'll resume the friendly attitude with the next person (I listen as I leave and they often do)"


This. Double.

Loads of retail staff take one look at me and just seem to lose the ability to be friendly... there are people I see almost every day that don't even say hello - but they quite happily talk about the weather, what's on TV, etc. to everyone else.

Not that I'd know what to say if they tried small talk, but it would be nice if they *tried*.



nessa238
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26 Apr 2013, 2:25 pm

TonyHoyle wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Typical thoughts when Interacting with staff in shops, banks etc:-

"I can tell they see me as weird and want this interaction to end quickly; I do as well,
so I can get away from a devaluing interaction"

"I'm evidently not 'normal' enough for them but then they're a generic NT so that's nothing new!"

"they were a lot friendlier toward the person they were talking to before me and I just bet they'll resume the friendly attitude with the next person (I listen as I leave and they often do)"


This. Double.

Loads of retail staff take one look at me and just seem to lose the ability to be friendly... there are people I see almost every day that don't even say hello - but they quite happily talk about the weather, what's on TV, etc. to everyone else.

Not that I'd know what to say if they tried small talk, but it would be nice if they *tried*.


Yes, it's very dispiriting :(

It's like I've been assessed as beneath them and it makes me feel annoyed as they aren't anything wonderful themselves

I wish it wasn't so important to me but I think it's because I don't mix with other people much at all (not exactly being encouraged to do so by how people act towards me!), so any interactions take on far more importance than they should

When someone is friendly I tell myself 'This is a person doing their job properly and the others are just ignorant'

I saw a reality TV programme in the past about a hairdressing salon where members of the public would come in to get their hair done live on the show, in a salon set up just for the purpose. I saw this one man waiting in the queue who I thought could be on the spectrum just from the way he was acting ie his body langage, expression; he just had a general air of vulnerability and difference about him that I thought might mean he was autistic. When he sat in the salon chair the hairdresser hardly said two words to him so it was as if he'd picked up on the difference very quickly and wasn't going to make any effort towards him.



neilson_wheels
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26 Apr 2013, 2:28 pm

I know this feeling too.

You can be as nice and polite as, and still take up too much time and space.



PrncssAlay
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26 Apr 2013, 2:58 pm

TonyHoyle wrote:
Loads of retail staff take one look at me and just seem to lose the ability to be friendly... there are people I see almost every day that don't even say hello - but they quite happily talk about the weather, what's on TV, etc. to everyone else. Not that I'd know what to say if they tried small talk, but it would be nice if they *tried*.


MAN, I thought it was just me who got the cold shoulder like that. But if I keep seeing the same retail people usually they will eventually recognize me as a familiar human being and at least smile. I seem to give the impression that I am "aloof" although that isn't at all true. :?



Smicry99
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26 Apr 2013, 6:57 pm

Normally it depends on the actual social situation or whom I am actually with at the exact time.
Usually when talking to known aquaintainces the first thing that tends to pop right up into the audience of my mind is a part of my anxious side and that is "If I was to say what I have on my mind right now would my words come out all jumbled up again? Would I have trouble remembering what I was about to say? Would I end up having a moment of all mumbles? Does my voice sound in the correct pitch to ask or say this one thing, I don't want it to sound like more of a question than a sentence! I'll only end up sounding like a total retard...I might accidently offend that person with my way of words and speech! Oh my dear lord, they are looking at me like they want to start performing very "relational" actions with me! This is starting to get way too intense for me...I should just say it already but the words wont come...why wont they flow? What should I do? I don't want to upset both me or him...I now feel like I want to start bawling...stop this, please!" And then suddenly followed by outburts of sudden confusion/anxiety/shock, I complete mess up what I was going to say and run off leaving that person very confused and downright peed off.

:oops: A total embarrasment for the both of us.