Language as a Window into Human Nature

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Troy_Guther
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24 Apr 2013, 1:33 am

So, I was just watching some videos on youtube when I came across this video. It gives in interesting insight into why people talk the way they do and why the intentionally use certain phrases. Certainly worth a watch, I hope you guys like it!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-son3EJTrU[/youtube]



Highlander852456
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24 Apr 2013, 1:52 am

Very good. :wink:



Anomiel
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24 Apr 2013, 5:40 am

Ooooh :compress:



nessa238
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24 Apr 2013, 6:20 am

Very interesting and the animations make it far more engaging and easier to follow

I've often thought that people not saying what they really mean leads to all sorts of assumptions and misunderstandings but it also means stuff that can't be taken back isn't said so could be said to be a way of maintaining a relationship

I see it as 'pussyfooting about' whereas it seems most people see it as vital so as not to put a strain on relations

I like to know exactly where I stand with people and am unlikely to always pick up an underlying meaning anyway

Also my brain really struggles trying to map out the thought processes of other people - it's far easier if they just tell me what they
think! lol



Troy_Guther
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24 Apr 2013, 7:14 am

nessa238 wrote:
Very interesting and the animations make it far more engaging and easier to follow

I've often thought that people not saying what they really mean leads to all sorts of assumptions and misunderstandings but it also means stuff that can't be taken back isn't said so could be said to be a way of maintaining a relationship

I see it as 'pussyfooting about' whereas it seems most people see it as vital so as not to put a strain on relations

I like to know exactly where I stand with people and am unlikely to always pick up an underlying meaning anyway

Also my brain really struggles trying to map out the thought processes of other people - it's far easier if they just tell me what they
think! lol


An important thing to remember is that, for a majority of NT's, relationships with others provide the bulk of the meaning in their day to day lives. With that in mind, it makes sense that they would use all available means to maintain current relationships that they want to keep, as well as create new ones. Things like truth, progress, and efficiency are important to them as well in varying degrees, but the relationships come first. Fact is, they love the ambiguity of human interaction; it makes it far easier to cover their ass in case they mess up. Most people are too afraid to truly speak their minds to anyone but their closest confidants. Frankly, I can't say I blame them a lot of the time, considering how judgmental humans can be.



nessa238
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24 Apr 2013, 7:31 am

Troy_Guther wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Very interesting and the animations make it far more engaging and easier to follow

I've often thought that people not saying what they really mean leads to all sorts of assumptions and misunderstandings but it also means stuff that can't be taken back isn't said so could be said to be a way of maintaining a relationship

I see it as 'pussyfooting about' whereas it seems most people see it as vital so as not to put a strain on relations

I like to know exactly where I stand with people and am unlikely to always pick up an underlying meaning anyway

Also my brain really struggles trying to map out the thought processes of other people - it's far easier if they just tell me what they
think! lol


An important thing to remember is that, for a majority of NT's, relationships with others provide the bulk of the meaning in their day to day lives. With that in mind, it makes sense that they would use all available means to maintain current relationships that they want to keep, as well as create new ones. Things like truth, progress, and efficiency are important to them as well in varying degrees, but the relationships come first. Fact is, they love the ambiguity of human interaction; it makes it far easier to cover their ass in case they mess up. Most people are too afraid to truly speak their minds to anyone but their closest confidants. Frankly, I can't say I blame them a lot of the time, considering how judgmental humans can be.


Yes I understand why they do it, I just couldn't bring myself to be the same. Their interactions seem very unsatisfying and insubstantial to me. I can't relate to people unless I can be completely myself with them and talk about anything and everything with them. I don't see how you can ever properly trust a person unless they are truly open with you.



Troy_Guther
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24 Apr 2013, 12:20 pm

nessa238 wrote:

Yes I understand why they do it, I just couldn't bring myself to be the same. Their interactions seem very unsatisfying and insubstantial to me. I can't relate to people unless I can be completely myself with them and talk about anything and everything with them. I don't see how you can ever properly trust a person unless they are truly open with you.


The fact is, that, for the most part, they don't really trust each other either. Studies have shown that, in the United States, the average person only has around 1 or 2 serious confidants. I think that Americans in the past may have had an easier time opening up to one another on a more serious note because society was quite a bit more homogenized than it is now. There was a pretty good chance that nearly everyone around you was pretty similar in background, religious/political belief, goals and ambitions, etc. Not so much now in our multicultural age. It also doesn't help that we're pretty much as ignorant and judgmental as ever.

Personally, I'm with you. I hate playing the games, and usually only do so when absolutely necessary to my well being. There are a lot of people who really appreciate that. There are also a lot of people who regard me as a belligerent idiot. You have to take the good with the bad, just like anything else.



nessa238
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24 Apr 2013, 12:38 pm

Troy_Guther wrote:
nessa238 wrote:

Yes I understand why they do it, I just couldn't bring myself to be the same. Their interactions seem very unsatisfying and insubstantial to me. I can't relate to people unless I can be completely myself with them and talk about anything and everything with them. I don't see how you can ever properly trust a person unless they are truly open with you.


The fact is, that, for the most part, they don't really trust each other either. Studies have shown that, in the United States, the average person only has around 1 or 2 serious confidants. I think that Americans in the past may have had an easier time opening up to one another on a more serious note because society was quite a bit more homogenized than it is now. There was a pretty good chance that nearly everyone around you was pretty similar in background, religious/political belief, goals and ambitions, etc. Not so much now in our multicultural age. It also doesn't help that we're pretty much as ignorant and judgmental as ever.

Personally, I'm with you. I hate playing the games, and usually only do so when absolutely necessary to my well being. There are a lot of people who really appreciate that. There are also a lot of people who regard me as a belligerent idiot. You have to take the good with the bad, just like anything else.


If I'm not working (which I'm not), I don't mix with people on a regular basis so there are no power politics I have to engage in

This gives me less mental stress but it does mean that when I come across such attitudes I have a zero tolerance attitude towards them as I'm not having to deal with them on a daily basis like most people ie they are part of most peoples' lives but not mine

In other words I have refused to play 'the game' any longer - people can adhere to my rules for a change as I seek to avoid most people as far as possible.



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24 Apr 2013, 1:01 pm

Troy_Guther wrote:
nessa238 wrote:

Yes I understand why they do it, I just couldn't bring myself to be the same. Their interactions seem very unsatisfying and insubstantial to me. I can't relate to people unless I can be completely myself with them and talk about anything and everything with them. I don't see how you can ever properly trust a person unless they are truly open with you.


The fact is, that, for the most part, they don't really trust each other either. Studies have shown that, in the United States, the average person only has around 1 or 2 serious confidants. I think that Americans in the past may have had an easier time opening up to one another on a more serious note because society was quite a bit more homogenized than it is now. There was a pretty good chance that nearly everyone around you was pretty similar in background, religious/political belief, goals and ambitions, etc. Not so much now in our multicultural age. It also doesn't help that we're pretty much as ignorant and judgmental as ever.

Personally, I'm with you. I hate playing the games, and usually only do so when absolutely necessary to my well being. There are a lot of people who really appreciate that. There are also a lot of people who regard me as a belligerent idiot. You have to take the good with the bad, just like anything else.


There you have it :o I don't except everyone else to have the same background or beliefs, and my response from someone disagreeing with any of that is either neutral or enjoying having a discussion. I am also aware of the risk of rejection of being yourself, but I am not afraid of it as I don't want to spend any energy on someone that disagrees with who I am on a fundamental level (within reason) and I see it as their right to reject whoever they choose as I see it as my right to do so too (though if it is based solely on discriminatory reasons and otherwise, it can be disappointing) as I don't get much enjoyment out of having acquaintances - which is what everyone would be if you protected yourself enough to not give anyone a reason to reject you, either trough lying or omission. I've had enough acquaintances to know I personally don't enjoy that. Also because I don't want whatever the opposite of rejection is either.
I don't have patience to build up a friendship with anyone, and don't need to, I already get exactly what I want from any social interaction. Like Nessa I too try to stay away from power politics and people and I love everyone on a very deep impersonal level, but individuals are far too often nasty and reading way too much into everything. I don't care in a personal way about many people, but apparently discussing conflicting ideologies have them thinking I care about them (negatively or positively) which is very odd.



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24 Apr 2013, 2:53 pm

I do still very much love "brainmuscling" people (I love that word!) It is not a conscious display of dominance, and the motivation of it is not social. Though I have a pet-theory that (even the meekest) aspies are too dominant to be able to function well with society at large - my natural "territory" (if talking in animal/anthropological-terms) is simply gigantic. Just having neighbors too close - no matter who they are - is annoying.

ETA: Oh I just realized the description of dominance as "brainmuscling" was in another thread :duh: Was confused as that video also discuss different models of social interaction/dynamics and the discussion had shifted to the politics of socializing, so it still stands! But if anyone is wondering what I was talking about it's from this thread http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt229314.html Which I think everyone should read.