Asked a girl out and got rejected

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I've never been straight-up rejected before, only subtly rejected, although I feel a fear of being rejected all the time, which crimps my behavior.

It actually feels really good to be clearly rejected. It's very freeing. I want more of this. Has anyone had a similar experience?

Good outlook! Beats being depressed about it...

Some guys (from what I have heard) follow the philosophy of the old-time door-to-door salesmen: "Expect to get nine 'no' responses before you get one 'yes.'" Looking at it that way, each "no" brought them that much closer to the "yes" that was coming up.

I wish that my second boyfriend had been my first because then I would've the feeling of being dumped before I did the actual dumping. So dumping the first boyfriend was kinda necessary because he turned out to be crazy.

Yes, I've asked girls out before and got turn down, never gotten a ''hostile rejection''
but it don't bother me if a girl don't want to date me.

Yes, and it was done in front of people. but she handled it gracefully, so I tried again and got knocked down again. If I happen to realise the opportunity again, I will try.

O rly? Who are these guys saying such BS? It makes no sense at all.

I wonder if the "hey, I'm a failure and I'm gonna rub it right in your freaking face b***h, now shoot me!" technique would be appealing to some people?

Because I could be a natural at that stuff.

One girl rejected me in that fashion: "you are a nice guy, not a player who doesn't give a s**t, I don't want to make choices now"

I was like: "I just asked for a date now, not a marriage proposal" (doing that face O_o)

then she was like "I don't want you to succumb in my s**t and loss, caused by at least 1000 guys before and .... and.... I am just on okcupid to feel desired.......and... and...and...."

Me: *phew*

Statisically, that's actually how it worked out. Over time they could count on a 10% "yes" rate. Worked for them, in not getting discouraged by each and every turn-down.

Typical nice guy curse stuff.

Funny thing about that many women think that being nice mean that you wanna commit and marry them and so. And nope. It just means that you respect her and you treat her fine, nothing more. And from then on, the relationship can or can not work, that's something only time will tell. Being nice doesn't mean being desperate for marrying or whatever, it just means that you don't need to be sure that a person is your soulmate to be kind with her. It means being kind. Period.

And when finally they get the nice guy, when they want to settle, thinking 'OK, I'm with a nice guy, it's all done', to find out that the relation has to work, and has to be special, and if it's not, you can break up with her no matter how nice you are. Following thing: 'I don't understand men, all of them are as*holes'.

Many women wait until the very last moment to join the nice guys, only to discover that they were just nice, not desperate. Well, that's life.

But it wasn't a curse this time, I was relieved!! !

Best rejection ever.


100% agree with the rest

Much better, then

Women seem to think that straight up rejection hurts a guys feelings more than stringing them along and ignoring them.

I disagree.

It's gonna hurt either way.

Agreed. The (true) nice guys finish last.

I find it interesting that you favor direct rejection over a more subtle rejection. I believe that is the opposite of what most people would prefer- a subtle rejection, although disappointing, doesn't lend itself to feeling depressed and having a low sense of self esteem.

A classic example, the old "I really like you just as a friend, and I value our friendship and want to keep it that way" routine. It sucks, but it isn't too painful to hear.

If someone clearly rejects you, it is more personal, and more hurtful usually.

Do you think that the reason you prefer a direct rejection over a subtle one is because it provides definitive and absolute evidence that that person doesn't like you? Do you think subtlety is rejection leaves you confused about what happened? I wonder...