names

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Anyone else have a problem calling people by there names ?

I can call my kids by there names , I can call animals by there names, Anyone else though, even my wife I have a problem using there names
It just feels odd, weird and just wrong too me.

I have been married 21 years and have never been able to call her parents anything. I can't think of anything that isn't too formal or sound too derogatory (to my mind at least) so have never called them anything.

Even when I put my most social face on it's something I just can't master .

The worst thing about it is when you have to shout out to someone in a crowded area .I tend to just let them go as all I can do is shout Yo or Hey and if I do that everyone spins there head and the last thing I want is everybody looking at me .

I frequently don't use names because I'm not sure have I the correct name. Even when I'm quite sure of the name (a rare occurrence), I can be wary of levels of formality. I'm always aware of using first names and hoping it's appropriate.

I've learned this in my mid thirties, there's been threads on this before. John Elder Robison wrote about this in his book Look me in the Eye also.

Since becoming an adult, I have always called people by their first name (except my parents). The exception is if I don't remember it.
This includes professionals, bosses etc. I am not sure if it's because of the greater level of informality in Australia or for some other reason.

Also I have also called my girl friends/partners by their name, never dear, love, honey etc. It just feels right.

I'm not good with names. Particularly people called Callum or Connor, I always get those mixed up.

I am even worse with faces when out of context. For example, today I saw the lollipop man who has served me for over 10 years, but not with his uniform. He said hello to me, but I didn't recognise him until he had walked past.

I've always had a problem learning and remembering names, so I tend to avoid using them whenever possible.

I've always felt the exact same way. It's definitely always felt wrong/awkward/uncomfortable to call people by their name. I'm usually fine if it's a nickname (so I'm usually the one who makes 'em up) or preceded by 'uncle, aunty' etc. but calling them by their name feels very strange. I also feel weird when people use my name.

I'm rarely any good with names of new people, I do eventually remember someone is they are a prominent feature in my life, such as, close family, long term friends or long term colleagues. Eventually things like what they look like jolts the memory, but drastic changes mean I forget who they are. I never really liked addressing people by their names though...

Am terrible with names. Terrible with remembering them. Shy about shouting them across a room.

To compound the problem - a third of the people I work with are young Black women with these new fangled names. Like "Tomeeka", and "Charisse", that are hard for me to remember even as words ( compounding my problems with remembering which name goes with which face).

Im a mess!

Thanks windtreeman it's good to know I am not alone with this odd thing . I was the same with the whole nick name thing when I used to try with the whole socialising thing , They were fine ,if I could remember them that is .

The face thing is quite familiar as well . I moved when I was seventeen ( only a few miles) but totally lost touch with everyone. ever since
then people are constantly asking my how I am when I go out. They know me but I don't have slightest idea who these people are .

I also do the mixing people up thing . I tend to watch a lot of TV and film (usualy with the headphones on to block out all the people noise outside) and it really gets on my nerves when they put two actors on something that look similar. I end up getting confused and can lose track of who is doing what .That's why I like to watch US sitcoms ,everyone is always so different. It seems so comfortably and relaxing on my poor brain , if that makes any sense.

It's not like the film "Faces in the Crowd" but I'm guessing that the film is just crap .I don't see a different face every time I look at someone .
It's more like I don't retain the facial detail to memory only the major differences between people and even that go's if I don't see these people for a while . I guess it could be my brain that dos not think these things are all that important so just drops the unneeded info to save on storage.

I used to dread picking the kids up from school. It used to pop up in my mind .The thought of taking the wrong kid by the hand ( that would just not go down well) The whole uniform thing who came up with that great idea.I used to have to stand well back from the crowd and wait for them to seem me just in case.

The worst thing I did was take my mum to see her husband in hospital .I went and found him , He was asleep so I got my mum sat her at the foot of the bed and left .When I picked her up she gave me a right mouth full , It was twenty mins before she realised it was not him in the bed .I had looked him right in the face and was certain it was the man I had known for 18 years

After writing this I have come to the posable conclusion that as a kid I might have stopped trying to use names to cover up the other problems and forgot about it. It just feels so ingrained and a part of me now . The whole crap memory thing is not a help with figuring these things out

I never call people by their name. It's awkward and I never know if I should call them by their first name or use their title or whatever so I do whatever I can to get around it.

I remember names well. I have trouble remembering and recognizing faces. There's an odd thing I do that my family members pointed out to me though. In conversations with a family member about another family member I won't refer to the person about whom we're speaking by name. When talking to my mum about my sister I'll say "My sister......" rather than "sister's name........" and when talking to my sister I'll say "My mum ....".

My major problem is with remembering names. It is quite embarrassing.

I have some similar problems.

With certain people I feel very awkward to say their name to address them. I get very nervous and I become self-conscious. I don't know why. It certainly makes it difficult to have a conversation.

I also find it difficult, though it might sound strange, to use the first person singular pronoun ("I" in English) when I refer to myself in my mother tongue. So I can't refer to myself when I speak my first language. It makes it very difficult for me to talk with people.Thank god I don't have this problem in English.

I have an issue with using names. I never realised it might be related to possibly being on the spectrum, until I read about it in this forum. It has caused me problems, as I'd rather tap someone on the shoulder or wave my hand in front of them than call out their name. I dread to think what issues I would face if I worked in an environement that required me to call out names, e.g. in the emergency room or a busy kitchen. I honestly don't understand why I find it so difficult.