Do you find other aspies are easier to be friends with?
It depends on whether your personalities and interests are compatible. For example, my best friend's on the spectrum, and we're both shy, Japanese-speaking girls with a love of video games, so we get along very well. My support teacher at school has tried to get me talking with other Aspies, but there's this one boy she's in charge of who I can't stand because I just see him as a massive loser.
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Make cupcakes, not war.
I have mixed feelings about this, cause I know people with AS traits who I get along with and don't get along with.
For example, my coworker who loves his manga, video games and martial arts wants absolutely nothing to do with me apart from work stuff.
On the other hand, some of my school friends exhibit AS characteristics, but always ask me about how I am going, whats going on with my life and so on. I feel easier and more relaxed around them
Yes and no. I find that as a girl with Aspergers, it's a lot easier for me to get along with guys with Aspergers than with other girls. I have a "friend" in my friend group who also has Aspergers and she bothers me nonstop and we end up clashing. My friends thought we would get along because we are so similar, but we are too similar to get along. However, just test the waters. The worst that can happen is that you don't make a friend who also has Aspergers. Eccentric, accepting and interest/hobby/humor-compatible NTs are a pretty safe bet.
Thanks for any advice, Russell.
On one hand, Aspies don't tend to have the same expectations as neurotypicals. They're less likely to be bound by seemingly meaningless social rules (although they will often be bound by routine, and if someone has tried to teach them social rules then they'll often stick to them very rigidly) and they won't mind if you deviate from those rules.
However, it can be very hard to have a conversation with an Aspie. For a start... their social skills aren't very good! They often won't reciprocate in conversations, or they'll talk about trivial things or go on a tangent about their special interest (sometimes this can be interesting, of course). It is kinda like having a conversation in a language you don't really know, and the other person doesn't really know it either. At least when you're speaking to someone else who speaks the language, they can guess at what you mean and work round it.
strange but before i even knew such word as aspergers i happened to made 2 aspie friends,... i ve got my diagnose only recently and by now 3 out of 3 good friendships i have are aspies... and all of them i met totally randomly while traveling or visiting a place of my special interest... though i know 2 more aspies which i didnt get along with
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Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 49 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
I found in my experience that I get along better with Aspies. I get along with NT's, too, but I share more in common with Aspies, such as hobbies and interests. I have two friends who are sisters, and they have Asperger's Syndrome. We would sometimes bowl together on weekends and do other stuff together. I am also in a relationship with an Aspie boyfriend for about a month and a half now; we would talk to each other on our phones daily, and even went on a date.
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Black cat on duty
Aspies and NTs seem to fufill different roles in my life.
Socially, I get along better with NTs since I socialize in a very NT way (I like reciprocity in my friendships, whereas most of the Aspies I know tend to focus only on themselves). Aspies I use more for studying patterns in their behavior, for sharing ASD related resources, and for mentoring. With that said, it depends on the person, regardless of label. There are some NTs and Aspies I get along well with more than others for various reasons.
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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.
This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term psychiatrists - that I am a highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder
My diagnoses - anxiety disorder, depression and traits of obsessive-compulsive disorder (all in remission).
I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.
Socially, I get along better with NTs since I socialize in a very NT way (I like reciprocity in my friendships, whereas most of the Aspies I know tend to focus only on themselves). Aspies I use more for studying patterns in their behavior, for sharing ASD related resources, and for mentoring. With that said, it depends on the person, regardless of label. There are some NTs and Aspies I get along well with more than others for various reasons.
You touch on an interesting issue with social reciprocal interactions. I've noticed that some Aspies (and yes, they are confirmed Aspies) don't seem to understand the concept at all. That said, I have to wonder how much the concept was ever explained to those individuals, because while I was only able to get an explanation out of one person, it suggests that there's a lack of explanation of receiprical social interaction.
This may be an area where it's the "unspoken" rules that trip Aspies up. Not sure if you have any thoughts on that theory.
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Our first challenge is to create an entire economic infrastructure, from top to bottom, out of whole cloth.
-CEO Nwabudike Morgan, "The Centauri Monopoly"
Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri (Firaxis Games)
Socially, I get along better with NTs since I socialize in a very NT way (I like reciprocity in my friendships, whereas most of the Aspies I know tend to focus only on themselves). Aspies I use more for studying patterns in their behavior, for sharing ASD related resources, and for mentoring. With that said, it depends on the person, regardless of label. There are some NTs and Aspies I get along well with more than others for various reasons.
You touch on an interesting issue with social reciprocal interactions. I've noticed that some Aspies (and yes, they are confirmed Aspies) don't seem to understand the concept at all. That said, I have to wonder how much the concept was ever explained to those individuals, because while I was only able to get an explanation out of one person, it suggests that there's a lack of explanation of receiprical social interaction.
This may be an area where it's the "unspoken" rules that trip Aspies up. Not sure if you have any thoughts on that theory.
Absolutely. One of the difficulties is that it's such an emotionally and situationally based skill so it's very hard to teach it to other people. I read ASD resources all the time, and it's even harder to find a good way to explain it through these. It's something I learned and continue to grasp naturally, so it's even harder to try and come up with a simple definition for it. It's so complicated.
It's stuff like knowing what other people expect and don't expect from you, knowing when to switch topics to focus on the other person, knowing and predicting other's preferences and feelings on different things, recognizing what would make another person happy, being a friend without being clingy and responding with particular emotions and focuses at different times.
_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.
This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term psychiatrists - that I am a highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder
My diagnoses - anxiety disorder, depression and traits of obsessive-compulsive disorder (all in remission).
I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.
I can't deal with micromanaging types, aspies who can't understand why you dont think like they do or do things the way they do. I've noticed this in people who probably dont know they have AS. I seem to get along better with eccentric types, OCD/ADD types, creative types, who may or may not have AS, but suffer the same comorbidities.
I have yet to ever hang out with a group of people who know they are on the spectrum.
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?Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.?
I can't deal with micromanaging types, aspies who can't understand why you dont think like they do or do things the way they do. I've noticed this in people who probably dont know they have AS. I seem to get along better with eccentric types, OCD/ADD types, creative types, who may or may not have AS, but suffer the same comorbidities.
I have yet to ever hang out with a group of people who know they are on the spectrum.
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?Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.?
Given that one of my hobbies is going to sci-fi conventions, all I can say is that I definately get on better with some other aspies. Those conventions are stuffed full of them, whether they're diagnosed or not.
Similarly, there are people who drive me nuts at those events, and they're aspies too.
Your best bet may be to get involved with clubs etc that are centred around your own special interests. Far more likely to meet people you have things in common with.
Aspie or NT, some folks you'll click with, and others you won't....
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