What prevents people from creating links

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Elaine Aron is known for her book on hypersensitivity. In a rather recent book (2010), called "The Undervalue Self", she talks about the two different modes of relationships, ranking and linking, and explores the effects of ranking (comparing each other etc.) We hide from ourselves this suffering by using masks, to ignore the fact that we feel shame.

Even if I knew some of it, it was really helpful to put words on my feelings, it goes strait to the point, that in fact we have value and that it can be a habbit to underevaluate ourselves in order to avoid suffering. And that we can cure from that by understanding how to link to other people.

Have you read this book? Does this book relates to other books of hers?