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freewaydog
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05 May 2013, 3:10 pm

Nobody seems to give us a break! It is a very rare orientation & I have always gotten flack for it over the years: "Oh ur just a closet lezzy!" or "Oh, Daddy raped you!" (That 2nd one was from a social worker, no less!) I am wondering if anyone else is this way & has this experience? I think this receives more prejudice than the LBGT population!


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FalsettoTesla
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05 May 2013, 3:45 pm

I've had similar things said to me (I'm an asexual in a relationship with another asexual person).

I disagree with your statement that it receives more discrimination than the LGBT population. I do not have things regularly shouted at me on the street because I'm asexual, but I do because I'm trans.

I'm not at any greater risk of being assaulted when I use a public bathroom because I'm asexual, but I am because I'm trans.

That doesn't mean the discrimination that the asexual population experiences isn't bad, it is. It's unacceptable.



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05 May 2013, 3:53 pm

I wasn't always this way but I think I'm probably asexual/aromantic now and will be for the rest of my life. I have no interest in having sex with another person or a romantic relationship with another person.

People just don't get it. They think if you aren't having sex or relationships you are somehow missing out.



freewaydog
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05 May 2013, 4:37 pm

hanyo wrote:
People just don't get it. They think if you aren't having sex or relationships you are somehow missing out.


Exactly! & then there are these annoying ppl that are "just trying to help" me by saying, "Oh maybe you're just afraid!" or "Maybe you haven't found the right one!", etc.


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DarkRain
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05 May 2013, 4:50 pm

Don't feel bad...I'm another person who doesn't want to have sex or a relationship with another person. I'm an asexual celibate for life.



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05 May 2013, 4:55 pm

Yes, I´m asexual (except masturbation, lol) and aromantic. Last time I had a crush was when I was 11 years old.



freewaydog
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05 May 2013, 5:08 pm

Everything about me is different--from having Asperger's, to being ace/aro, to the music/tv shows/movies I like to everything else!


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Hopetobe
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05 May 2013, 5:32 pm

freewaydog wrote:
Everything about me is different--from having Asperger's, to being ace/aro, to the music/tv shows/movies I like to everything else!

You´re not alone. I´m so weird in everything.



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05 May 2013, 6:51 pm

you're not alone, count one more Aromantic Asexual here. :)

Personally I don't really feel the need to tell anyone about why I'm not having sex or relationships really... I couldn't if I wanted it anyway.

Asexuality will not suffer the same or worse discrimination as the LGBT. Asexuals rarely not physically abused, underprivileged or very much other LGBT specific discrimination. The thing is that Asexuality is much more invisible as it permeates all orientations for the majority of asexuals that identify as romantic or those that also are Trans*.


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freewaydog
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05 May 2013, 7:10 pm

Although I got verbally abused for it.


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886
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06 May 2013, 4:27 am

The idea of someone not wanting attention from someone is completely foreign in our society.

Most everyone in society does everything to impress the opposite gender. Everyone wants to date, to have sex, to get and give attention. Some people want to have lots of sex but never love anybody. Some people want to have alot of emotional closeness but never have sex. The idea of someone wanting neither is just foreign to most people. There are people out there like that, but it's hard for those close to grasp. I never really went out and dated anybody until later in life, and you get that pressure from friends, oh, you must be gay. Oh, you're afraid. Oh you haven't found the right person. Oh you need to get out there more. Or, alternatively, you just don't want anything from anybody of that sort. As true as it is to you, some people just never will accept that to be true.

It does recieve more prejudice than the LGBT community - in a way. As in.. people out there will understand one's life decision to mate with the same gender. Very few people, close friends, family, therapists, alot of people just don't understand.. you want NOBODY? You don't want to love, you don't want to have sex, anything? The only people who will understand that are those with similar mindsets, yourself, or really close friends.


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appletheclown
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06 May 2013, 6:50 am

I don't understand, if celibacy has religious importance, then why do you guys get bothered so darn much? It doesn't seem right. I am not asexual or aromantic, but you guys don't deserve this for wishing for something like celibacy.


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hanyo
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06 May 2013, 6:55 am

In the past when finding out that I don't have sex I've had people ask my why I don't become a nun then. I'm not catholic and I'm an atheist.



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06 May 2013, 7:18 am

hanyo wrote:
I wasn't always this way but I think I'm probably asexual/aromantic now

Can sexuality actually change beyond the years? I didn't know that.

I don't know if I'm actually asexual and/or aromantic.
I've never felt desire for physical contact/sex with another person.
But I do observe other people bodies and feel a kind of physical attraction at times (don't know if it should be called this way).
But I do observe both males and females. I feel attacted by both genders, kinda, but I don't know if I'm bisexual, because I am extremely moody and I have a lot of swings, so I can't really know. Whatever. I never question myself about my sexuality, and I've never been interested in knowing what my sexuality exactly is. I just accept it as it comes, and don't question myself about it.
About aromanticism I'm not sure.
Someone is supposed to be aromantic when they don't fall in love, am I right?
I do not feel love as other people describe it.
Actually, I've never felt love at all.
I've felt something only for one person in my life until now (still feeling it) but it's more similar to tenderness than love.
I guess that the type of love I feel is more like tenderness then.

Another thing: is asexuality supposed to imply the lack of sexual fantasies? I've never understood what asexuality exactly was.



appletheclown
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06 May 2013, 7:20 am

hanyo wrote:
In the past when finding out that I don't have sex I've had people ask my why I don't become a nun then. I'm not catholic and I'm an atheist.


No one can force you to do anything. Jesus said himself he would rather you be an atheist than be a lukewarm christian.


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freewaydog
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06 May 2013, 1:08 pm

So, so true,...

886 wrote:
The idea of someone not wanting attention from someone is completely foreign in our society.

Most everyone in society does everything to impress the opposite gender. Everyone wants to date, to have sex, to get and give attention. Some people want to have lots of sex but never love anybody. Some people want to have alot of emotional closeness but never have sex. The idea of someone wanting neither is just foreign to most people. There are people out there like that, but it's hard for those close to grasp. I never really went out and dated anybody until later in life, and you get that pressure from friends, oh, you must be gay. Oh, you're afraid. Oh you haven't found the right person. Oh you need to get out there more. Or, alternatively, you just don't want anything from anybody of that sort. As true as it is to you, some people just never will accept that to be true.

It does recieve more prejudice than the LGBT community - in a way. As in.. people out there will understand one's life decision to mate with the same gender. Very few people, close friends, family, therapists, alot of people just don't understand.. you want NOBODY? You don't want to love, you don't want to have sex, anything? The only people who will understand that are those with similar mindsets, yourself, or really close friends.


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