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guys here: get female friends, but not a girlfriend

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appletheclown
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10 May 2013, 11:38 am

JanuaryMan wrote:
Friends and girlfriends/boyfriends offer some of the same qualities but also different qualities.

Trying to be a good friend only, achieves exactly that.


The thing is, nobody who adamantly wants only to be your friend, is ever going to want to be your romantic partner, because they just got done saying they want only to be your friend. Pursuing further would be an insult, and inappropriate. Having lots of friends you know there was no chance of you getting on with, you have set up people you can rely on. Having friends is better than nothing.


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Last edited by appletheclown on 10 May 2013, 11:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

appletheclown
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10 May 2013, 11:39 am

JanuaryMan wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
JanuaryMan wrote:
Interesting summation and questions, nessa. 8)
What is your research and experience all leading to, Bill? Is there a purpose?


You should know what I want from V for Verboses thread: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt229527.html

Hey wait, your name is Bill, too?

I'm going to read that now.


It is actually luke, but bill may have posted there.


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JanuaryMan
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10 May 2013, 11:44 am

appletheclown wrote:
JanuaryMan wrote:
Friends and girlfriends/boyfriends offer some of the same qualities but also different qualities.

Trying to be a good friend only, achieves exactly that.


The thing is, nobody who adamantly wants only to be your friend, is ever going to want to be your romantic partner, because they just got done saying they want only to be your friend. Pursuing further would be an insult, and inappropriate. Having lots of friends you know there was no chance of you getting on with, you have set up people you can rely on. Having friends is better than nothing.


If the other threads are much of a testimonial it seems like guys play the "just friends" thing in order to get in the good books a lot of the time, yet ironically get frustrated when they are friend zoned.

I don't believe in having friends is better than nothing personally. I'm either friends with them because I want to be or not. They're not a substitute until someone has nookie with me lol

Not all romantic relationships are built on friendship btw. What they are usually built on is trust or a mutual exchange, and saying you want to be friends with someone in hopes something more will happen is not the right way to go about it, but that's just my two cents.

EDIT: To answer Bill's question - No trouble making female friends, some slight trouble in making relationships but that's more often than not down to my own wishes to be single for the time being.



appletheclown
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10 May 2013, 11:56 am

JanuaryMan wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
JanuaryMan wrote:
Friends and girlfriends/boyfriends offer some of the same qualities but also different qualities.

Trying to be a good friend only, achieves exactly that.


The thing is, nobody who adamantly wants only to be your friend, is ever going to want to be your romantic partner, because they just got done saying they want only to be your friend. Pursuing further would be an insult, and inappropriate. Having lots of friends you know there was no chance of you getting on with, you have set up people you can rely on. Having friends is better than nothing.


If the other threads are much of a testimonial it seems like guys play the "just friends" thing in order to get in the good books a lot of the time, yet ironically get frustrated when they are friend zoned.

I don't believe in having friends is better than nothing personally. I'm either friends with them because I want to be or not. They're not a substitute until someone has nookie with me lol

Not all romantic relationships are built on friendship btw. What they are usually built on is trust or a mutual exchange, and saying you want to be friends with someone in hopes something more will happen is not the right way to go about it, but that's just my two cents.



At least you would have the love of friends. I wasn't pointing out the potential for romance, I was pointing out the value in keeping friends, so that you have a shoulder to lean on, someone to do fun things with, and help you gain social experience.


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billiscool
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10 May 2013, 12:04 pm

nessa238 wrote:

There's completly different methods and rules depending on if you go after women when you are mixing in a group or if you do it one to one online

I do the latter as no way am I going to compete with other women for a man. In the group environment I am at a severe disadvantage as my kind of intelligence/value cannot be seen in group type conversations. I do not get on with people who thrive in groups basically as it's a completely different mindset.

I think all Bill's speculations are based mostly on group interactions, not online ones where it can be far more about intellect rather than who can flutter their eyelashes the most impressively

Also, what does Bill ultimately want? A wife and children?


A wife? that is nearly impossible for me to get a wife, I way too eccentric for a wife, and if I do manage to get married, I probaly get divorce in 2 days anyways.
I don't want kids.



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10 May 2013, 12:25 pm

so basically if your in shape, can easily talk to woman, but have an eccentric personality.
You pretty much will only get female friends ( which is not a bad thing)
but it's nearly impossible to get a girlfriend.

I don't blame my autism, alot of autism guys date and get married.
It's my eccentric personality that prevent me from ever getting a girlfriend.



1000Knives
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10 May 2013, 1:03 pm

billiscool wrote:
so basically if your in shape, can easily talk to woman, but have an eccentric personality.
You pretty much will only get female friends ( which is not a bad thing)
but it's nearly impossible to get a girlfriend.

I don't blame my autism, alot of autism guys date and get married.
It's my eccentric personality that prevent me from ever getting a girlfriend.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7HyMYAgcLQ[/youtube]

Is me.



Tyri0n
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10 May 2013, 1:21 pm

billiscool wrote:
so basically if your in shape, can easily talk to woman, but have an eccentric personality.
You pretty much will only get female friends ( which is not a bad thing)
but it's nearly impossible to get a girlfriend.

I don't blame my autism, alot of autism guys date and get married.
It's my eccentric personality that prevent me from ever getting a girlfriend.


What's your job?



billiscool
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10 May 2013, 1:46 pm

Tyri0n wrote:
billiscool wrote:
so basically if your in shape, can easily talk to woman, but have an eccentric personality.
You pretty much will only get female friends ( which is not a bad thing)
but it's nearly impossible to get a girlfriend.

I don't blame my autism, alot of autism guys date and get married.
It's my eccentric personality that prevent me from ever getting a girlfriend.


What's your job?


I work part time as a dock worker. I get disabilty checks (ssi) as well.
I live with my folks, don't have a license, I don't like driving.

Im not really advance as lot of people here are.
the reason I can make female friends is because I keep
myself in shape, don't have approach anxiety, and can be
funny and charming.

alot of lower level autism ( or mid level autism) guys
are out of shape ( least one's I know) or have approach anxiety around women.

The thing is even If I got a date with a woman, she will find out that Im
really not ''normal'' and most likely would dump me, anyways

unless I date another autism women, but they are hard are to find.

and the autism guys who do get dates are the advance, college degree type
not the borderline special needs type like me.