Can't handle people standing right behind or over me

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Blue Jay
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08 May 2013, 11:11 pm

I don't really mind people just walking by behind me, but for someone to stand behind me, especially right behind me where I can't see them, for any length of time will freak me out, especially if they're making noise.

If someone stands astride me as I'm laying on the floor, that will freak me out FAST, especially if I start asking, and then screaming, for them to get off me and they refuse to do so.

Does anyone else react this way?


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Aprilviolets
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08 May 2013, 11:38 pm

I don't like it either, I had a friend who would stand too close to me andwhen I would move away she would do it again. :evil:
Its an invasion of your personal space.



rapidroy
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08 May 2013, 11:43 pm

I dislike this very much also, some people have nothing better to do then watch me work for example, normally I just nicely say "yes, can I help you with something", they sometimes go away then. I can't say I scream however If cought of guard you may be asking for a surprised look and verbal responce. I can't work when people do this, I just feel to much anxiety to do or think anything constructive, all I can think is that theres someone in my personal space and judgeing me.



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09 May 2013, 12:33 am

Or in my blind spot... and I know and feel the overbearing presence. One hellish place for someone like me would be... a police kettle!



cberg
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09 May 2013, 1:45 am

I suppose, going from experience I've found ways to deal with this, but yes I experience this all the time. Even my dad ignores it after I tell him to stop hovering. It's primarily a personal space issue when the person in question projects disagreement with or authority over what you're doing. For all I know I lost my last software job for this very reason. Nobody can do their best work with someone breathing in their ear.


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Valkyrie2012
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09 May 2013, 1:57 am

I also have issues with this. I can't stand it when I am at work and people reach around me and they brush my sides. Or when my supervisors need to wait for me to finish a task and stand watching me. I get so discombobulated I can barely function and feel witless.

I also get annoyed when customers take things directly from my hands before I am ready to put it down myself. Then I have to hide it does. Frustrating.



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09 May 2013, 2:45 am

I don't accept strangers too close behind me. Known people, friends, family is no problem. Why preferably no strangers behind me? Because with this behaviour I make pickpocketing more difficult (but I have other measures to make pickpocketing more difficult such as looking behind with some frequency, listening whether someone is behind, not putting any valuable in my rear pockets, etc.).



kabouter
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09 May 2013, 3:07 am

I am another one that can't stand it. First approach: "yes, can I help you?". If that does not do the trick, then make an excuse, i.e. I need to go to the toilet/bathroom etc., and go away for 5 mins. They should be gone by the time you are back.

Do that a few times and hopefully they will get the message. As a last resort, you could tell them that it makes you very nervous and intimidated when they stand over you. Could they please respect you personal space.


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MutelyAware
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09 May 2013, 5:15 am

I too have issues when it comes to certain things like this, one thing that I hate the most besides the fact that there aside of me is the fact that I'm constantly feeling their pressence, the sound of their breathing, the footsteps, the staring, it's like they are actually right up close to your face looking deep into you soul like they're reading your exact thoughts. It's like when I'm in the middle of drawing, I always get these one or two people that think to them selves that it's such a great idea to annoy me during this time. If I had the choice to I'll probably end up grabbing a laser and blind them with it.... 8O :(



analyser23
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09 May 2013, 6:19 am

I can't stand it either, I hate being people standing over me, reading over my shoulder, I feel really yuck if someone accidentally knocks their foot/leg into mine or brushes past me, and I apologise a LOT if I accidentally do a similar action to someone else. I also can 't stand those people who stand near you and just keep bumping into you without even acknowledging it! I used to think everyone got annoyed by people like this until my psych told me it was because of my AS and then after that I realised that other people really don 't react the same way I do in similar situations.


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Joe90
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09 May 2013, 6:25 am

I feel similar to this in shops. I am OK with people I know standing next to me or hovering behind me, but strangers really agitate me. Sometimes when I'm standing somewhere in a shop and somebody creeps up from nowhere and hovers about behind me wanting to get to exactly where I'm standing or reaching their arm across my face to get something or kind of shuffling about near my legs for something, I can't always help myself tutting and walking away sharply. If I do attract their attention when doing this, I then feel guilty afterwards, and wished I hadn't tutted and have just been patient. But sometimes I can't always help myself. People hovering about in my personal space just agitates me and I feel I need to express how I'm feeling, although for some reason it is socially inappropriate to express your feelings in public.


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Ann2011
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09 May 2013, 7:28 am

I once had a boss stand directly behind me while I was typing. I didn't like that at all.



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09 May 2013, 1:10 pm

one of the big reasons I can't stand to be in a classroom or go to a concert. Even standing in line can get uncomfortable at times.



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09 May 2013, 9:27 pm

Don't ever move to a third world country, because how close you can stand to someone is a cultural thing, and often personal space is meaningless in these countries.


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Aprilviolets
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09 May 2013, 11:59 pm

One time I was using the ATM and a man was too close and looking over my shoulder luckily I hadn't used my pin number I turned around and glared at him and he moved away.



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10 May 2013, 12:11 am

My mom has this thing -- happened as recently at this afternoon -- where she feels the need to watch me do stuff. For some reason, she finds everything I do, be it typing or drawing or cooking or putting on my makeup, utterly fascinating. I asked her today why she watches me do stuff, and she just said "Because I like to." And forget about someone watching me while waiting for me to finish something. It completely unnerves me, and I'll make careless errors that I wouldn't have if I wasn't being watched. But I don't visibly freak out for the most part...only inside me is the agitation noticeable.