school vs being really stressed out plus life on top

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Emu Egg
Emu Egg

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Joined: 24 Mar 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 5
Location: Ohio

16 May 2013, 10:21 am

there's only not a lot left of the school year and im freaking out! i do tutoring after school instead of normal school because of my anxiety and minor bullying over my panic attacks plus the fact people at my school make me nervous and scare the heck out of me. i didnt go for about a few weeks at the beginning of the year and i missed some work (a lot but not a whole lot) and im really behind yet not really really behind yet somewhat behind. sometimes i dont go to tutoring because 1) i'm in a bad mood 2) im too depressed to move or leave my room 3) my family is being my family and making things more wonderful (not really) for me by causing something. i'm so behind right now because i havent really been in a good mood lately and i have been feeling more depressed plus my anxiety is not my friend in this at all. when i try to do my work it either makes me frustrated or i have no idea what im doing even though i understand it or i just dont know what im doing even tough its explained to me i just dont! my tutor tries to help me the best she can but sometimes she makes me so annoyed and feeling more crappy then i do most the time. i'm trying the best i can but i dont know what to do anymore. they have been changing my meds around a lot lately. they have me on a new dose and i'm not used to it at all yet and now they are putting me on a another one to help it just so i can get trough the rest of the year. i feel like my mom is blaming everything on me and i have to do it but i cant because its so so so much pressure and she wont let me go to nyc this summer to see my friends if i dont catch up but i cant do it. bribing me to see my only actual friends just to get trough the year is dumb because if i cant go that not only will make me upset it will make them upset too! if i dont catch up soon i will have to do summer school and that just makes me freak out more and all of this is too much! this makes my head hurt and makes me want to lay in bed and not move for like a week. i just want left alone at this point. i also dont know what to do.
ugh what do i do? i mean my anxiety controls everything i do and no one understands that and i think everyone forgets my autism most the time.

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