Housing Problems!

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I am really suffering with this at the moment.

I live in a house with my parents. I love them dearly, but SO many things set off my sensory issues. I can't deal with people eating when I'm trying to watch tv, because crunching means I can't concentrate at all. I can't sleep if I hear a noise from other rooms. My stuff gets moved or touched and then I can't use it. Worst of all is if someone else's day suddenly changes, then mine does too. If someone is off ill without warning I can't do whatever I had planned for that day because everything feels wrong. They can't just stay out the way/upstairs or whatever because I can FEEL there's someone there that shouldn't be and I can't focus with that going on. My anxiety has always manifested in Emetophobia - fear of vomiting, so I'm constantly terrified someone in the house will get sick. My anxiety and stress levels are SO high, but there's nothing I can do about it.

To live by myself I'd need to be within a 10 minute walk of my parents so they could support me as I made the gradual transition to living on my own. I need at least 2 bedrooms because I need the option of a carer staying over with me at times when I have very bad anxiety or am going through a bad depression. I need to have a garden of some sort because I have to have a dog with me (I have a report from my therapist stating how much worse my life is without one and why it should be treated as a dog being a necessity - basically if they did autism dogs for adults I'd have one no question). I can't live in a ground floor flat because any noise above me would stop me sleeping.

So basically, I need a 2 bed property that is semi-detached or end of terraced. In the area close enough to my parents there are no 2 bed semis or end of terrace - so I'd be looking at a 3 bed.

My parents can barely afford the place we're living now. I am only entitled to Housing Benefit equivalent to bed sit or shared accommodation which is obviously completely inappropriate. Even if I could find someone who'd buy me a suitable property and only charge me the amount I'd get in H.B I'd then have it docked for having an extra bedroom.

I'm way too high functioning to require residential or supported care, but with the right support in the first place could happily live alone. Council have me down as very low priority despite the level of distress I have living here, and even if I was high priority they wouldn't be able to give me a suitable property because my needs are too outside their boxes.

I'm not normal enough to get a house by myself and not disabled enough to get any help. I feel so trapped and so distressed at home, with literally no prospect of the situation changing

I live in Edmonton and rent is pretty expensive here too. Are there good jobs in Red Deer. I might move there soon.

I think our two biggest geographical areas, the US and UK, have completely different issues here.

Real Estate appears to be much more expensive in the UK, while transporation and health care are comparatively less expensive.

Real Estate is comparatively less expensive in the US, but transporation and health care is so location dependent that individual's without the ability to legally operate a motor vehicle are effectively cut off in large portions of the United States.

What would work on one side of the pond might not work on the other.

It depends. Red Flame industries is hiring as well as companies like Trican, Gasfrac, weatherford, and I think Finning. A lot of industry type jobs relating to the oil patch and trucking industry.In order to get a good job here you at least need a car and driver licence.

JoinTheChase: you sound a lot like my relative who I believe is autistic (undiagnosed; very hard for adults to get a proper diagnosis in the USA) all but the vomiting part is exactly like them. In fact your post made me understand some things better, thank you.

One day they may have to live with me, if you were given a choice would you rather live with family or in your own one bedroom apartment, say in an assisted living apartment building? Keeping in mind some apartment buildings carry noise from other apartment units, such as door slam, footsteps, water running, etc.

Also might I recommend a service dog rather than a carer staying overnight? Then you wouldn't need the 2nd bedroom which might open more housing options to you...would a service animal be an option for you?

I would do ANYTHING for a service dog, but they just don't do them here. Here service dogs HAVE to be provided by one of the recognised charities otherwise it isn't included in the laws that back them up. A couple provide them for children, but despite a LOT of campaigning, they refuse to branch out to adults (despite starting other branches which would be less use to their owners than one would be to me). Sore subject for me :/

Anyway. In all honesty, I'd prefer living alone. I understand that assisted living could mean there was noise / unexpected things. For me personally, assisted living isn't appropriate because I could easily live on my own if I was supported through the transition. But I think it really helps to have your very own safe space where no one touches your stuff and it's all how you expect it to be. If your relative found it was too distressing with the other people there, they can reconsider living with you, but I think for me it'd be worth trying it.