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Summer_Twilight
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20 May 2013, 9:54 am

I managed to make connections with a family and I had even eaten lunch with them at my place of worship after service. One of them had brought me two little gifts (Things to wear, skin and hair care).

Anyway, I had not been at my place of worship for a couple of weeks and I had run into this person last Weds and they said that they had the second gift for me and could not find me. Then they said, "Please be here on Saturday. I will have your gifts."

Long story short, I attended on Saturday morning and ended up sitting in a different spot with another connection of mine. I also forgot all about the other situation too. When we departed, I ran into this person who appeared to be on their last whims with me. "Where were you? I could not find you and so I put your back in my car just now." (Paraphrased). I apologized and said that I got caught up with another connection of mine. I totally forgot.

We walked out to their car where they gave me their gift by asking me if I needed a ride somewhere. I told them that I was headed home. Then they stated, "Well I will see you later since I have to go to class. Bye now. (Paraphrased)

I proceeded to walk away by blessing them and got a ride from someone else who saw me.

What does it mean when someone asks you if you need something and then says they are too busy to do it?



MacGyverAspie
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20 May 2013, 10:26 am

How long have you known these people? Some people are like that sometimes, it's not your fault if you forgot, people forget things all the time, the other person shouldn't take it personally if they couldn't find you.



MountainLaurel
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20 May 2013, 10:26 am

Quote:
What does it mean when someone asks you if you need something and then says they are too busy to do it?

It might mean that if you needed a ride later, after class, they might be able to do it. But who knows.



Summer_Twilight
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20 May 2013, 11:10 am

MacGyverAspie wrote:
How long have you known these people? Some people are like that sometimes, it's not your fault if you forgot, people forget things all the time, the other person shouldn't take it personally if they couldn't find you.



I just started interacting with them recently. I don't have their number or anything.

As for the ride part, I don't think they were very clear about their intent and so that is why I am confused.

What I don't understand is why this person decided to throw such a tantrum over the fact that I did not bump into them when they wanted it.

What I noticed is that they seemed to show a very cold attitude with me and yet seemed super excited and friendly to see everyone else. "Hey, I saw your praising and worshiping to I am going to force this gift upon if it's the last thing I do."



MacGyverAspie
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20 May 2013, 11:42 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
I just started interacting with them recently. I don't have their number or anything.

As for the ride part, I don't think they were very clear about their intent and so that is why I am confused.

What I don't understand is why this person decided to throw such a tantrum over the fact that I did not bump into them when they wanted it.

What I noticed is that they seemed to show a very cold attitude with me and yet seemed super excited and friendly to see everyone else. "Hey, I saw your praising and worshiping to I am going to force this gift upon if it's the last thing I do."

People like that seem too needy, I know they are trying to be nice with you but someone who is like that is just a waste of your time.

Oh well, we can't change how other people think or feel.



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20 May 2013, 1:47 pm

Just because they offer you a ride doesn't mean they want to hang out. If you had been going in the same direction as them, giving you a ride wouldn't have cost any time, but staying there and talking would have.


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inquiringMind
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20 May 2013, 4:42 pm

Quote:
I don't understand is why this person decided to throw such a tantrum over the fact that I did not bump into them when they wanted it.


Hi.

I hope you don't mind my perspective--
In your first message you stated,
Quote:
they said, "Please be here on Saturday. I will have your gifts."


The reason they threw a "tantrum" is because by letting you know of their intentions (they have a gift for you, "please be here"), they made a verbal arrangement with you and come (that) Saturday, they automatically assumed you would be there just as you had been asked to be.

Unfortunately, they did not take into consideration that things can happen! (What if you wouldn't have been able to go period?) So you forgot and/or didn't want to be rude to the people you were currently with. They need to get over it.

In addition they were very rude--
Quote:
I noticed is that they seemed to show a very cold attitude with me and yet seemed super excited and friendly to see everyone else.

how dare they!
Their behavior is not excusable, but they behaved in that manner because they felt "rebuffed" by you. (Again, they expected you to be at a certain place and when you weren't there, they purposely acted in that manner so that you could see that they were offended. I believe that behavior is what the NT-world calls "passive-aggressive.") Sad to say that there are A LOT of people that act like that in this world. :\

Given their behavior and change of personality towards you, my concern is that their gift could be something that they're giving to you so that they can strike their own ego, rather than giving it to you because it's something that is coming from deep inside their heart. (I say that because I feel they should have been thrilled to see you even if the gift gad been put away.) Something that derives much pleasure should never feel like a chore.

Sorry to have read that they did that to you.



Summer_Twilight
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21 May 2013, 8:54 am

Why they are suddenly acting nasty with me over a gift I have no idea. Are they just controlling or were they really giving me the gift in realization that I have a low income right now? I was baffled either way.

I had another situation like this arise 4 years ago and it was pretty intense too. Long story short, I made arrangements to meet a respite provider at a certain movie and had gotten there extra early. I happened to pay for another movie beforehand since it was one of those value type theaters. I had even called to leave a message on their cell phone that I had arrived at the theater and would be catching the first hour of another film first.

They NEVER even bothered to acknowledge the message that I sent by retrieving my call that they were on their way or had arrived. Being me, I jumped to conclusions and finished the other movie since I knew that they had a very full plate with another client.

Meanwhile, the provider ended up freaking out that something had happened to me and when they found out that I had done the other, they hit the roof. They also turned out to be a flip switch person by going from nice to just plain nasty. They were also scared of getting their respite license revoked and elected to pull the plug all together. I heard some mean things that night as well that I never thought I would hear. There was no swearing or violence but it was enough to cut you in half. I had even managed to apologize for that.

"I know but I am finished," (In paraphrase).

I did not know how to read the cues and beat myself up pretty bad to the point of getting drunk. Looking back on both situations, I have to realize that I am not a people pleaser.

When the recent happened where they asked if I needed a ride somewhere and then took off, I thought, "Ouch, that was odd."