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Jamesy
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21 May 2013, 9:28 am

I was cycling down the canal today and i encounterd an old couple. As i cycled past the couple the wife said in an agressive tone "manners". I then got agressive back and shouted at them arguing that i was not being rude. I came across these 2 people a few times on my bike and they were 'fairly' polite to me before. i have come into conflict with senior citizens before were i live since many can get agressive if do the smallest thing out of line.

Becuase of my AS i am very shy and lack eye contact. Do u think the elderly couple mistaked my lack of eye contact as rudeness? My dad has accused me of being rude before but often i don't realise when i am behving that way :?



Kuribo
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21 May 2013, 9:41 am

I wouldn't imagine that eye contact would be considered necessary for cycling past someone. Is it possible that you were cycling too close to them?



Ann2011
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21 May 2013, 9:51 am

Jamesy wrote:
As i cycled past the couple the wife said in an agressive tone "manners". I then got agressive back and shouted at them arguing that i was not being rude. I came across these 2 people a few times on my bike and they were 'fairly' polite to me before. i have come into conflict with senior citizens before were i live since many can get agressive if do the smallest thing out of line.

I find that seniors are more prone to feel threatened by things like fast movement. Because they are often frail and slow moving. Fear can lead to aggressive behaviour. It's possible you may have startled them. I know sometimes I've been walking my dog and a cyclist will come up fast behind me before I realize they're there. It can be quite a shock.



thewhitrbbit
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21 May 2013, 10:47 am

When passing walkers on a bicycle who may not see you, it is customary to announce yourself by saying "On the left" or "on the right."

It sounds like you startled the couple by passing them without announcing.



Summer_Twilight
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21 May 2013, 12:47 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I was cycling down the canal today and i encounterd an old couple. As i cycled past the couple the wife said in an agressive tone "manners". I then got agressive back and shouted at them arguing that i was not being rude. I came across these 2 people a few times on my bike and they were 'fairly' polite to me before. i have come into conflict with senior citizens before were i live since many can get agressive if do the smallest thing out of line.

Becuase of my AS i am very shy and lack eye contact. Do u think the elderly couple mistaked my lack of eye contact as rudeness? My dad has accused me of being rude before but often i don't realise when i am behving that way :?


I did not know that movement can be an issue with elderly people. I do know that most of them get set into their ways by that age and also feel like the younger generation disapproves of them. Maybe it's why she was upset. She also could have been developing some form of dementia. Alzheimer's can make one who is normally sweet and make them more aggressive.

As for you shouting back, it sounds like you were no at fault with them but that you took the situation too personally. I myself have done the same thing before and got myself and felt bad afterwards.



ASDsmom
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22 May 2013, 2:36 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I was cycling down the canal today and i encounterd an old couple. As i cycled past the couple the wife said in an agressive tone "manners". I then got agressive back and shouted at them arguing that i was not being rude. I came across these 2 people a few times on my bike and they were 'fairly' polite to me before. i have come into conflict with senior citizens before were i live since many can get agressive if do the smallest thing out of line.

Because of my AS i am very shy and lack eye contact. Do u think the elderly couple mistaked my lack of eye contact as rudeness? My dad has accused me of being rude before but often i don't realise when i am behving that way :?


I actually see a lot of things "wrong" in this story. The only fact is with your uncertaintly of why the elderly woman shouted "manners". There's a possibility that:

1) She was not talking to you
2) You "broke" a social rule that may have involved safety of others
3) The woman was startled

When facts are not present, always assume people have the best intentions at heart. Particularly with this elderly couple since they've been polite with you in the past. Also, when it comes to elderly people, there's always a possibility that their mental health is declining even without them being aware of it. And although some can be quite unpleasant, there are better ways of handling a situation than reacting aggressively, as you've stated here.

Next time, ask. Maybe you ARE doing something that's making people feel uneasy. If you don't know what that is, it'll likely happen again. It's always better to understand than assume anything and reacting by that assumption..



neilson_wheels
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22 May 2013, 5:33 pm

Hello, it can be quite easy to frighten someone when you pass them on a bike. Too close, too quickly or both can be intimidating.
It is good to let other people know your are coming, a cycle can be silent, even if you call out "HELLO" in advance warning, do you have a bell on your bike? The other person may be deaf or have impaired vision.
Pedestrians have right of way on the tow path so you should ride accordingly. Slow down and pass when it is safe. Compare this to a car driver overtaking you too fast and too close.
Traditionally cyclists on the tow path used to pass each other on the opposite side compared to riding on the road and still creates confusion occasionally.
If someone does challenge you it can be good to find out their reasoning, otherwise you will never truly know if you were at fault or not. For this you need to be non-aggressive and also not feel threatened in any way yourself.



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22 May 2013, 9:34 pm

thewhitrbbit wrote:
When passing walkers on a bicycle who may not see you, it is customary to announce yourself by saying "On the left" or "on the right."

Whut??? Not only have I never done that, I have not seen or heard it happen either.


Quote:
I know sometimes I've been walking my dog and a cyclist will come up fast behind me before I realize they're there.

Yeah, cyclists can be a real nuisance; they come so silently you can't hear them and a lot of them make no effort to let you know before they speed past you making you jump. Don't get me started on cyclists! I have so many bad experiences with their behavior

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When facts are not present, always assume people have the best intentions at heart.

Meanwhile, back in reality...


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thewhitrbbit
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22 May 2013, 11:10 pm

Quote:
Whut??? Not only have I never done that, I have not seen or heard it happen either.


Happens to me all the time if I am walking on a bike path.



ASDsmom
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23 May 2013, 7:00 pm

thewhitrbbit wrote:
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Whut??? Not only have I never done that, I have not seen or heard it happen either.


Happens to me all the time if I am walking on a bike path.


I've heard it and said it too. Or, a bell has been used.
It's also important to "keep to your right" as well - particularly if the path is shared between pedestrians and cyclists.



neilson_wheels
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24 May 2013, 3:29 am

ASDsmom wrote:
thewhitrbbit wrote:
Quote:
Whut??? Not only have I never done that, I have not seen or heard it happen either.


Happens to me all the time if I am walking on a bike path.


I've heard it and said it too. Or, a bell has been used.
It's also important to "keep to your right" as well - particularly if the path is shared between pedestrians and cyclists.


There is no fixed rule on which side to pass as the towpath is shared use with pedestrian priority..
In busy areas I feel it is much better to"keep left", this is the same arrangement as road traffic in the UK.
This can avoid games of chicken with other cyclists.
keeping to the right will just increase the potential for crashes.



ASDsmom
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25 May 2013, 9:04 pm

Ah, sorry! I made an error .. keep to your right when the cyclist is approaching you. If the cyclist is coming from behind, they are to move to their left (which is why I said "keep to your right" - the pedestrian). I mucked up with my explanation.



Zeromancer
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25 May 2013, 9:14 pm

Actually you guys seem to forget here that he could have just been doing nothing wrong at all and that the woman was just shouting "manners" to someone else.

It could have just feeled like she was talking to you because you have AS, so you're used to being corrected in this way.
Happens to everyone, just with different things in different situations.



jlsvc92
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26 May 2013, 6:44 am

Here's how I see it:

Old people, specially women can complain about everything with no reason and in rude ways
Cyclists often aren't careful enough with walking/running people

Probably it was just one, probably both, try to keep some distance and use a bell and ignore rude people (not just riding a bike, always, specially if you're drunk).