My meltdowns are very verbal. I'm more like an unstable NT with anger issues having a nervous breakdown. I scream, swear, fall on to the floor, cry, and shout abuse about whoever got me into this state. I then start using the worst word of all, which is the C-word, and when I have screamed that word, I either start babbling because I want to scream an even worse word but know one does not exist, or sometimes I calm down a little bit after screaming the C-word. Even an NT once pointed out to me that she's experienced feeling more calm after screaming that word, as though it really throws up some of the anger.
I've never had one of these moments in public, though. I would never do that, even if I wanted to. I have often held it back, going all shaky and wanting to yell out inappropriate things, but I try to hold it in when out in public, and only let it out at home. I would NEVER show myself up in public. It just wouldn't do my self-esteem any good, and my self-esteem is already fragile as it is, so why dig myself an even deeper hole?
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Female
Aged 32
Diagnosed with ADHD
Have RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria)
Have Anxiety Disorder
Diagnosed with mild ASD but I don't identify as autistic